The nurse stared out of the window as she waited for her team member.


Danni’s thoughts turned to Garrett, who at the age of seventeen, was thrust into an adult world. There was such a difference between her life and that of the surgeon’s. Garrett had been forced to delve whole-heartedly into life with little or no help from those around her. Danni questioned in her own mind if she would have had the courage to do it if their roles were reversed. ‘Maybe that is what makes her so sure of herself now? I only wish that I could know my mind like she does hers, then maybe I wouldn’t feel so lost now.’ She sighed and turned to the sound of footsteps coming down the hall toward her. She thought about all her feelings that were rushing to a head, all centering on her emerging emotions of love.


"Hey, Mom!" Her greeting reflected her mood.


"What’s wrong, Danni, no flights today?" The Charge nurse for evening shift was making her customary rounds of the department to assure that everything was as it should be.


"No, just thinking, that’s all."


"If you ask me, it looks like some heavy duty thinking." Karen stopped next to her and reached out her hand to rub across Danni’s back in a comforting manner. "Come on, you can tell me. Can’t be anything that I haven’t heard already with my own brood when they were growing up."


The petite nurse looked up into Karen’s face. The older woman’s eyes were kind and loving in such a way that Danni wondered if her own mother had ever once looked at her in the same manner. Without hesitation, she knew the answer. No! Not once could she ever remember seeing anything but the demanding look that was so characteristic of her mother. Well, to be truthful, there was another look. It was the look of disappointment that she remembered best on her mother’s face. That was what she had always thought of herself as to her mother’s belief in the way things were meant to be. "It’s nothing really, Mom." Danni shrugged her shoulders. ‘How do I tell her that I think I’m gay?’


"Nothing?" Mom looked wide-eyed at the woman next to her. "Must be a pretty important nothing, your back muscles are as tight as a knot."


There was silence for a moment before Danni slowly began to talk. "I’ve been thinking a lot about…relationships." The last word was just more than a whisper. "Why can’t things be simple whenever two people are involved?" ‘Especially if they are the same sex.’


"Hmmm…sounds like you’ve gotten an early hit by one of Cupid’s arrows." Karen’s voice teased.


"I wouldn’t exactly say that I was the one he was aiming for, Mom." Danni hung her head. "I’m not sure that I’m ready for this. Even if I were, I’m sure that this arrow wouldn’t be for me." ‘Hell! I don’t even know what Garrett’s preference is.’


Mom’s eyes showed nothing but concern. "Danni, sometimes we don’t get to choose who it is that we fall in love with. It just happens without any rhyme or reason. There’s nothing scientific or mathematical about it. One day out of the blue, our heart just tells us, this is the one for you."



* * *

‘I can’t believe my heart couldn’t give me an inkling any sooner than now. I’m going to be thirty-two and still don’t know what I like.’ "That’s all well and good, Mom, but what if the other person isn’t feeling the same thing?" Danni looked up to Karen, her eyes pleading for understanding. "Could it…" she bit her lip as she let her gaze drop to the floor. "I mean…what if the other person thought it wasn’t right and walked away?"


"Not right? Danni, love is always right. It’s the most natural thing on this earth. A person would have to be a fool to walk away from love that was honest and pure, especially from someone like you." Karen watched the subdued demeanor of the usually vivacious blonde. Her heart ached for the petite nurse. Danni was at a crossroads in her life and both Mom and she knew it. ‘Do I tell her to forge ahead and let her feelings be known or do I just tell her to sit tight and wait for a sign? God, why does life have to be so hard?’


It was then that the elevator doors at the opposite end of the hallway opened. The tall, dark-haired figure stepped off with confidence and was making her way toward them. Karen noticed the look in Danni’s eye as the young nurse watched her team member advance. It was a mixture of pure love and agony. Mom had often thought they had shared a friendship that was closer then most, but now, she could see what Danni was really referring too.


"Garrett?" The word escaped from Karen’s mouth before she could stop it.


‘I should have known.’


Danni looked up to Karen with deep furrows forming in her brow. The young woman waited to see that same look that she’d expect her real mother to have if she were here. Instead of disappointment, the look on Karen’s face surprised her.


The upturned corners of the Charge Nurse’s mouth were evident as she glanced from Garrett to Danni. "I’d give her some time," Karen whispered, "she’s just learning what it’s like to have a friend." Mom squeezed her pseudo-daughter’s shoulders.


Danni was shocked. There was no repulsion or attempts to correct her statements, just unconditional love. The petite nurse didn’t realize that she was even speaking until she heard her own voice. "Thanks, Mom."


Garrett could feel the lop-sided grin as it began to show. She thought it was funny that the only time she felt like smiling was in the presence of her friend. Long legs carried the surgeon down the last section of the hall to the two women standing side by side. "Hey, Mom, haven’t seen you in a while." Garrett’s eyes initially looked at Karen but drifted down to settle on Danni. "When is the next outing?"


Danni’s back tightened and she could feel the breath escape her as though she was punched in the gut. ‘I’ve never thought of myself as gay…I guess maybe I am.’ Her eyes grew big in the realization. ‘ Well, there’s your answer. I can’t tell her now, I’ll lose her friendship for sure.’


Karen felt the tension overtake Danni, her own head snapping from Garrett to Danni and back again. ‘Surely she couldn’t have heard us.’ "Out…outing?" Her voice was strained and raw.


"Yeah, who’s it going to be…Danni…me…"


"Whoa, whatever you heard, it wasn’t meant like that." Karen felt like she was backpedaling in a plot of quagmire. She’d seen the wrath of the surgeon first hand and wanted no parts of it. "I…we…"


"Hey, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you." Rosie turned the corner in the hall and stood next to Garrett. "Did you to hear about the ski trip?" She looked directly at Danni. "I know how much fun you had on that outing last year with David," she teased.


Whew! Karen breathed a sigh of relief. ‘That’s what she meant by an outing.’


The tall woman noticed the slightly upturned corners to Danni’s mouth as her eyes began to twinkle. Garrett’s mind thought back to the look on Danni’s face when she had walked in on her reading that card the night she made dinner for the two of them. ‘Wasn’t that Christmas card from someone by the same name…David?’


"We’re booking the lodge for the Saturday before Valentine’s Day, February tenth to be exact." Rosie looked hopefully from Danni to Garrett. "You, two will be able to come, won’t you?"


The petite nurse’s face became sullen as she slowly shook her head. "Sorry Rosie, but we’re on call every weekend. I don’t think you’ll see us there."


Rosie turned to the surgeon. The thoughtful look in Garrett’s eye seemed disjointed from her speech. "She’s right, Rosie. I guess you’ll just have to have this outing without us." ‘But maybe there’s something that we can do about that. McMurray, I think you owe us a little R & R.’



* * *

It was back to the usual day-to-day activities for the two women. As they waited to respond to calls for the Flight Surgeon Team, they pushed the Lone Survivor Group along, and kept plugging along at a thing called friendship, each one taking turns at being either teacher or student.


The ride home that evening was uneventful, with each of the women lost in their own worlds of thought. Garrett had stolen glimpses of her friend whenever she could. The young blonde seemed pensive. The only discussion that the two held was a brief decision on what to have for dinner. Once that was made, they each became bastions of their own making.


Garrett thought of how she could approach the Ol’ Cutter to let them join in the much needed fun and socialization that she knew Danni craved. She hated to see the lively woman looking so forlorn and withdrawn. The surgeon’s mind raced with ideas and possibilities until she finally devised a plan of action. As she maneuvered the Blazer to the drive-thru window, a smile came to her face. ‘I’ve got it. He’ll never refuse a good PR run…now would he?’ Her mind was made up. She’d talk to McMurray in the morning, without Danni present.


Garrett quickly ordered and waited for the food to be packaged up. She found it hard to keep from smiling as she turned to face her friend. The surgeon was new at this side of the conversation, but heck, Danni was her friend and she’d try to do what she thought was right. "You…you want to talk about it?" Her heart skipped a beat as the words came out of her mouth. ‘I hope I know what I’m doing here.’ The tall woman gulped hoping that maybe Danni hadn’t heard her.