Ronin launched into details of training errors he’d seen. When Amery didn’t respond, he realized his explanation had turned into a diatribe. “Sorry to go off on a tangent.”

“It’s okay. I could complain about my horrible day, but luckily, I got to manipulate shadows and light on an image of this really hot guy who is gracing the cover of a very naughty book.”

He didn’t even crack a smile.

Amery moved in front of him. “Is the pained look in your eye because of me? I know I’m not supposed to be up here.”

“No, baby, I’m very glad to see you.”

“Doesn’t seem like it. Do you want me to bail so you can continue glaring at the yellow belt class? Because that redheaded kid in the second row? I think he’s looking up here and purposely taunting you with his very sloppy half-guard technique.”

That did bring a smile. “You are such a smart-ass.”

She placed her cool hands on his cheeks.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

“Ronin. You’re not well.”

“Was it my lack of charming conversation or that I didn’t immediately try to seduce you that gave it away?”

“Come on. Tell me where it hurts. Maybe I can help.”

He glossed over her concerns. “I’m having light-sensitivity issues, which is why you found me sitting in the dark, with a screaming fucking headache. I’ve been spending time picking apart my youngest students’ techniques when I’m not fixating on Black and Blue Promotions and what it’ll mean in the long run to absorb ABC into Black Arts. I’m not getting shit done.” Ronin softly smooched her mouth. “That makes me unpleasant to be around.”

“I beg to differ. I find you very pleasant to be around. Especially when you’re naked with that wicked gleam in your eye.” She kissed him. “So since you’re not getting shit done down here, why don’t you come upstairs and do me?”

He gathered a handful of her hair and pressed the softness against his lips, breathing her in. Just being close to her chased away his shadows.

“Ronin?”

“You don’t have any idea what you do to me, do you?” he murmured. “You bring such joy and light into my life, Amery. Can you blame me for wanting to wake up with that every morning? To surround myself with it every night?” Her reluctance to officially commit to moving in with him was just another thing he’d been obsessing about.

For once she didn’t look away from him when he brought up taking that permanent step. She reached up and brushed away a few hairs that were stuck to his forehead. “Let me take care of you tonight.”

“I wouldn’t mind if we just crawled in bed and you wrapped yourself around me.”

Amery gasped with mock horror. “You don’t want to wrap ropes around me? Just your arms? You must really feel like shit.” She kept running her hands through his hair. “When is your appointment with the neurologist?”

As much as he wanted her at his appointment tomorrow . . . he didn’t want her there. Telling her that would piss her off, and she deserved better after trying to improve his mood. He wanted her to see his physical improvement, not dwell on whatever limitations his doctor would set. He’d been enough of a whiny, brooding ass lately.

“Ronin?”

“Can we just drop it and go upstairs? My brain is throbbing.”

“Poor baby with a throbbing need. Once we’re upstairs, I’ll give you a little head . . . massage.”

Damn woman always made him feel better.

• • •

AMERY did drop it, but she didn’t forget about it. And she wasn’t sure whether it was a blessing or a curse when she saw the doctor’s appointment card with today’s date and time tossed in the garbage. It wasn’t as if she’d been pawing through the trash looking for clues; the postcard had fallen out of the bag when she’d removed it from the garbage can.

So maybe if she’d found it in a stack of mail or with the magazines in the den, she’d think Ronin had left it lying about, hoping she’d find it and ask him about it. But since he’d stuffed it in the trash . . . that told her he was hiding the appointment from her.

Why? Especially when he’d insisted she was an integral part of his life and his recovery process?

Because he’s back to the same old keeping things from you bullshit.

Amery didn’t want to believe it, but with the way he’d been acting the last couple of days? She couldn’t stop the niggling worry that there was more to it. She’d hoped last night, confronting him in his private space, cajoling him, keeping things light and showing her total support of him with gentle teasing and soft kisses would encourage him to confide in her. But that hadn’t happened. He’d just remained tight and closed off even during his massage. Directly after that he’d conked out.

Maybe he wanted to hear the doctor’s diagnosis first before he involved her. That she could understand. Still, she couldn’t help but feel shut out.

Nothing you can do about it now but wait and see if he wants to talk later.

She ditched the trash in the Dumpster and headed to work.

After working late, she didn’t have the energy to drive to the penthouse. As much as she loved being there, she felt the need to be in her own space for a change. That was another indication she wasn’t ready to move in with Ronin. Her phone pinged with a text message.

RB: Where are you?

I’m at home.

RB: At the penthouse?

No. My loft. Where are you?

RB: Dojo. You didn’t stop in, so I figured you’re working late. Are you about done and on your way?

I’m done, but I’m tired. I’ll probably just stay here tonight.

RB: Fine. I’ll be there in a bit. Have you eaten?

I was just about to make a sandwich. Should I make two?

RB: Please. See you soon. I’ll let myself in.

Twenty minutes later, the high-pitched whine of a motorcycle echoed from the alley. The back door slammed. He didn’t clomp up the stairs. The next thing she knew, Ronin was standing next to the breakfast bar looking at her.

“Hey.”

Maybe she was being paranoid, but he didn’t cross the room to kiss her. “Hey, yourself. Have a seat. Food’s almost ready. Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’m good.” He sat on a barstool. “What did you work on today that kept you in the office so late that you’re crashing here?”

Rather than point out that she lived here, she focused on assembling the sandwich. “A new campground contacted me about designing promotional material. They’ve got a unique concept, so that’ll be a fun project.”

“What’s unique about it?”

Amery placed two slices of thick-cut twelve-grain bread on the cutting board. Then she spread brown mustard across each slice. “It’s a winter campground close to the slopes that offers modern tent camping but in the snow. A cheaper option for winter sports enthusiasts to enjoy the ski season in the Rockies instead of staying in pricey hotels in Aspen and Vail.”

Ronin watched as she piled on sliced turkey, tomato, avocado, and alfalfa sprouts. She drizzled balsamic vinaigrette over everything. Then she slathered hummus on the top pieces of bread before layering them on top. She cut each in half, plated them, and slid one in front of him.

“Eat up. And yes, all the ingredients are organic.” She cracked open a small bag of veggie chips—slices of baked beets, sweet potatoes, and spinach. “I seriously eyed the jumbo bag of kettle-cooked salt-and-vinegar chips, but opted for healthy. You should be proud you’re rubbing off on me.”

“I’d like to rub you off,” he said with a wolfish smile before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Amery laughed and relaxed at seeing the glimmer of the Ronin she hadn’t seen for a few days. “Maybe for dessert.” She filled two glasses of water and slid into the seat beside him.

Ronin must’ve been hungry; he finished his entire sandwich before she’d eaten half of hers. Sheepishly, he said, “I forgot to eat lunch.”

“I can make you another one,” she offered.

“I’m full. But thank you. It was delicious.”

After several long moments of dead air, Amery’s sandwich seemed to be lodged in her throat. Or maybe it was the awkward silence between them that was choking her. She asked, “So what did you do today?” and inwardly cringed at her lack of subtlety.

“I was out most of the day, and then I hung around the dojo. Why?”

So suspicious. Instead of zeroing in on the vagueness of his response, she said, “I’m surprised you didn’t eat. Doesn’t Shiori bring you lunch most days?”

“There was a to-go box in the fridge when I returned from running errands, but it was late afternoon and I didn’t have time to eat. Why?”

It was hard not to bristle at his accusatory tone. “I just find it weird that she brings you food but the two of you don’t eat it together.”

“We don’t eat together because she uses it as an opportunity to harangue me, and that gives me indigestion.”

Now she was getting somewhere. “Haranguing you about what?”

“To stop ignoring our mother’s calls. Jesus. Every time she nags me, it makes me feel like a delinquent teenager again.”

Amery poked his arm. “Don’t deny you’ve acted like a surly teen the last couple of days.” She sipped her water. “So are you telling me that by-the-book Sensei participated in wild teenage behavior in his younger years and lied to his mom about it? Or did you just not tell her?”

He faced her, his gaze suspicious. “Where’d that come from?”

“You don’t talk much about your formative years, so I’m curious. Did you sneak out of the house to meet a girl? Or did you sneak a girl into your room? Did you swipe candy from the corner market on a dare? Did you and your buddies rip off a bottle of booze and get barfing drunk?”