My breath on the window dissipates, and I see a cluster of beautiful women spill around the pool. They’re talking animatedly about something—I can hear their voices through the glass—and my heart catches when I realize the woman at the center of the group is Lizzy.

I swallow hard and tell myself to grow a thicker skin. She’s doing her ethics thesis on the escorts here, so of course she needs to talk to them. Besides, they’re her friends now—right?

She introduced me to most of them almost as soon as we arrived here. And when we came back to the room, I was withdrawn and quiet because I feel kind of uncomfortable around these confident, extroverted women who see things so differently than I do.

Lizzy knows me. She could probably tell I was uncomfortable, so she’s hanging out with them solo. What’s the point of inviting me?

I sit back on my king-sized bed and think of Cross, occupying the single room nearest to the stairs, one floor up.

I could check on Cross.

I will check on Cross. He’s probably in his room brooding. But he’s the reason I’m here, after all. And if he doesn’t answer the door, I’ll go do some yoga by the pond.

I dress in black yoga pants and a pink sleeveless shirt, plus my sneakers, and I’m out the door in just a few minutes.

I knock twice on Cross’s door before he answers. My heart jumps into my throat. He hasn’t answered my knocks since we’ve been here. All I want is for our friendship to go back to normal. The door swings open, and I find myself staring at a young, blonde girl.

I frown. “Meredith?”

She shakes her head. “Lucy. I’m cleaning up.”

“Oh, so Cross is gone?”

“I guess so. The room is empty.”

It smells like a bar. I feel sorry for the girl. “Okay…well, thanks.”

She nods and closes the door, and I’m not sure what to do with myself now. I make a slow circle on a red runner covering the hardwood. There’s another one of those big, floor-to-ceiling windows at the end of the hall. I can see Lizzy by the pool with her escort friends. I tell myself I could be out there with her, if I hadn’t acted so reserved—okay, antisocial—last night.

I can’t help remembering the conversation Lizzy and I had before she came to Vegas: me, telling her that sex should be with someone you really care about, and Lizzy insisting that it didn’t have to matter so much. Now Lizzy’s met her soul mate and I’m alone, letting drunk strangers get me off in bathrooms, no less.

How the tables have turned…

Maybe what bothers me most is that every other second I’m here, I’m thinking about Marchant Radcliffe. It’s not what he said or how he behaved that’s the problem. It’s that he caught my eye at all. Because that’s what enabled him to hurt me with that nasty comment in the hospital hall. I let him in. I, Suri Dalton, am addicted to drunken assholes.

I rub my eyes and head back downstairs, where I plan to take a side door and an indirect route to the pond. As I walk, I keep my eyes peeled for Marchant Radcliffe, while my mind regurgitates the scene from the Wynn bathroom.

The old Suri would never do something like that. She had pride. And poise.

“I had pegged you for lonely, not desperate…”

I bite my lip.

I head through the main hall, a massive, rug-covered area filled with bookshelves, couches, and cozy alcoves where the women and men who work here meet their clients, before then taking clients back to their rooms. I hurry past the open bar and past the elevator shaft, headed for a door that’s topped with a glowing, red EXIT sign on what I think is the side of the building.

I’m bursting through the door, already feeling the soft heat of the night on my cheeks, when someone yelps.

I take a big step back and find myself staring at a red-haired woman. She’s petite, with huge breasts, an hourglass waistline, and a fine-boned face. She has twinkling green eyes, traces of dimples on either side of her mouth, and she’s wearing an elegant, green wraparound dress. Obviously an escort.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, stepping back, onto a little garden path.

“That’s okay. It was probably my fault.” I stare at her face for a second before my hands fly to my mouth. “Oh my God, I know you! You’re that nurse! You’re an escort, too?”

It’s rude to blurt it out this way, but my mouth moves before my brain can stop it.

And then, while her face twists and her mouth opens wordlessly, my brain makes a furious lunge forward.

This woman has red hair.

Lizzy told me ‘Meredith’ has red hair.

“Oh my God. You’re Missy King!”

“Meredith,” she whispers, wide-eyed.

“Wow.” So this is her: Cross’s Meredith. My gaze sweeps her small, taut body, and I can’t help comparing myself to her. Cross didn’t even want to kiss me, and he wants to marry her. As my eyes sweep her body, she takes a wobbly step back. She’s about to turn, to go, but all I can think about is the one glimpse I’ve had of Cross today, late this morning when Lizzy pried the door open and I peeked in: Cross, lying in his room, propped up on pillows, sipping something alcoholic and playing solitaire on his phone. “Have you seen Cross yet?”

She bites her lip, and I forge ahead—for Cross’s sake. “He misses you so much. And yeah, if you were wondering, I’m okay with that.” My failed attempt at seducing Cross came up when I babbled to the “nurse” in the supply closet, so I’m sure she thinks I’m in love with her man. “Cross is one of my very best friends, and I just want him to be happy. I think he would be, if he knew that you were here. Does he know?”

She steps back a little more. “I haven’t talked to him.”

“So…are you?”

Her green eyes meet mine, and my heart sinks before she opens her mouth. “Listen…I’m just laying low here for a while. Until I get my life together again. It has nothing to do with Cross. I didn’t even know that he would be here.”

“Do you care about him?” I ask bluntly.

Her eyes burn. “I care very much about him, but there’s lots of baggage between us. Lots of…obligation.” Her mouth twists downward.

 “Well I can tell you this. He really seems to care about you, and I’m sure you know, he’s been through a lot. Be careful with him, okay?”

She nods, tears filling her eyes, and dashes off between the trees, toward what I’m pretty sure is the escorts’ dormitory.

My stomach is in knots as I walk the other way, into the bushes I hope will hide me from Lizzy and everyone at the pool.

I’ve heard there’s a large, shrubbery maze to the left of the pond, before you reach the cottages. It’s a unique feature, so I tell myself my aimless nighttime walk has an educational purpose. That I’m not just running from my troubles.

I breathe deeply as I move under massive weeping willows and between carefully manicured snap roses. Despite the turmoil in my heart, I can’t help but feel impressed. This place might be a cesspool of sex-for-pay, but the grounds and the interior design are stunning. I tell myself they have to be, to keep the clients coming—har de har—but I can’t help wondering if the lavish grounds say more about Marchant Radcliffe than that he’s a good salesman.

What kind of guy is he, other than one who drinks?

I think back on what Lizzy and Hunter have been murmuring about him since that day at the hospital. Hunter thinks he’s doing drugs, and Lizzy thinks he has anxiety or something. Apparently, since he left the hospital that day, no one’s really seen him. He’s not answering calls from anyone but Rachelle, the woman who helps him run the ranch, and he won’t answer the door to his private cottage when Hunter knocks.

Lizzy says he’s drowning in gambling debt because he can’t stay away from blackjack. So he’s a gambler and a drinker. Isn’t that lovely?

I wonder what made Adam a drinker. Was it anxiety? I think that was a big part of it.

My thoughts are wandering to what my parents think about the news that Adam and I split, when I step out from beneath a copse of oak trees and I see the shrubbery maze, twisting like a square worm in the darkness. A few more steps, and I can see the shrubs are tall—easily taller than six feet—and in the warm breeze, their little leaves dance.

It would be stupid to go into a maze as it’s getting dark. I’d probably get lost. And yet, I step in. The situation resembles my life right now so much, I almost hope I will get lost, just so I can have to work my way back out.

8

SURI

By the time I get back into our suite, I’ve decided that I’m leaving tomorrow. I’m not helping Cross, I’m not spending any time with Lizzy, and I’m startling at every turn, worried about whether an encounter with Marchant Radcliffe would result in me slapping him or jumping his bones.

I’m tucking clothes into my suitcase, about to put in a call for the plane to get me in the morning, when the door opens and Lizzy sticks her head inside.

“Suri?” Her eyes double in size. “What are you doing?”

“Liz, I’m sorry, but I just can’t—”

“Suri—Suri, no.” She steps in, shaking her head vehemently. “No. You can’t go now. I need you here!”

Her proclamation irritates me. “That’s ridiculous. You just spent the night with your gajillion hooker friends.”

It’s mean, okay? I know it’s mean. But it’s not that mean. So when Lizzy sits down on the bed, drops her head into her hands, and starts to sob, I’m shocked. I step over and throw an arm around her.

“Lizzy—hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, it’s just, I saw Marchant Radcliffe and—”