He pushed me against the back of my car, and kissed me, but still didn’t smile.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me to soften his anger with a hotter version of the kiss he had given me, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have tried to take that opening, but you were impossible to-”

He stopped me, placing his hands on either side of my face and giving me the kind of kiss that took my breath away-the kind of kiss that told me just how real the love he felt for me was to him. What I had thought was anger was something else I didn’t understand; an emotion I had never encountered with Micah.

When the kiss ended, he suddenly seemed very emotional and some of what I was seeing appeared to be fear. Just what was he thinking? What could make a man who faced death regularly in his previous life fearful?

“Are you okay, baby?” I asked.

“No,” came the choked reply.

“Micah, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong?”

I heard the sound of a classic muscle car coming down the road. I really needed to find out what was wrong with my future husband before Ryan showed up and prevented me from getting to the bottom of this.

“Tell me,” I pressed.

Just as Ryan pulled in beside us, he kissed me passionately once more, smiled weakly, and then told me he’d see me at home.

“What!” I couldn’t believe it. Now I knew what was going through that mind of his; he had decided to trust Ryan and me alone together, “No-Micah, stay.”

But it was too late as he climbed back into the Vet and pulled out, burning the tires as he sped away.

Ryan got out slowly from his car, confusion written all over his face as he watched the Vet pull away. “He’s not staying?”

I could only shake my head as he disappeared, my emotions resting on my bottom lashes. Ryan realized I was ready to cry so he approached cautiously as he leaned back on my car, side to side with me and leaving no space between us. He slipped his arm around me.

“Are you okay? You guys didn’t have a fight over this, did you?”

“No,” my tears starting to fall as I spoke, “he was going to stay, but I think he just decided he’s got to learn to trust me and my decisions. I-I just never expected it; it was really hard for him to do.”

“Leese,” he stopped as a most unusual look hit him. He turned to face me, pulling my arms toward him.

I thought for a second he was going to try to make me embrace him, but it was my left hand he was actually after-the engagement ring.

“Did he… Ah, crap! Did he propose?”

I pulled my hands back from his grasp and wiped the tears away with my fingertips. “Yeah, we’re getting married in September.”

“Ah, Leese, don’t do that. You’re too young to be making that decision. Play the field before you buy it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Wow, I never heard that one. I guess you’re my last time in the field then because I’ve bought it-I love him.”

“Does that mean this is a chance to change your mind?”

“No, my mind is made up, and if it wasn’t for him wanting to wait, I’d be married to him right now.”

“Thank God at least he’s got a little bit of sense.”

My eyebrows went up, “You’re saying I don’t have any sense?”

“Not when it comes to him,” he answered, sounding exasperated.

I couldn’t argue about that. When it came to Micah, I had a very narrow focus, losing my peripheral ‘guy’ vision. The only other person I noticed was Ryan, but it was because he was-well, he was unique and he had taken a strong interest in me from the first day I met him and never let up. I know he wanted to see what would happen if he and I tried ‘us’ for a little while, but all I wanted was to keep him as a really good friend.

“You’re car looks a little different,” I said, changing the subject. “You put an air scoop in the hood?

“Yeah, after some chick in Pensacola beat the crap out of me in a 370Z, I put in a new engine. You won’t do that to me again.”

“Really? My Aston Martin has 510 horsepower. You might be in trouble.”

“Not this time, Leese. I’ve got Edelbrock carbs, Holley headers, and a new three-quarter cam shaft. You are looking at a supercharged, 454 that puts out over 650 horsepower. I have enough torque to rattle your brain when the pedal hits the floor. My car will eat yours for lunch.”

“Hum…this could be interesting, so I get the keys, huh?”

“As long as the doctors say your bullet hole is healed up, you can have the keys.”

My hand went instinctively to the scar on my chest, “The lung might tear back open, but if I start turning blue, then just call for a medevac.” The look on his face was priceless, but I couldn’t keep up that cruelty for long, “I’m kidding-I’m kidding, I’m fine.”

The remainder of the afternoon was a blast. He wasn’t joking about the car; it was, without a doubt, the most powerful piece of steel I’d ever controlled. I could actually pull the front tires off the ground when I took off. We spun out, skid, slid, and rocketed up and down the airstrip for hours.

Before we said our goodbyes, I challenged him against my car. I knew I was going to lose miserably, but I had to give it a try anyway. I actually beat him off the line simply because my car was lighter and didn’t try to eat the asphalt before catapulting into space. But beyond the line, I was a ghost in his rearview.

I thanked him for the date that I originally didn’t want to keep, but now was so glad I did. It was a chance to forget everything and just be eighteen and wild for a little while.

“So, you know I’m going to send you an invitation. Do you think you’ll be able to come? I know the timing isn’t great as far as school is concerned, but…”

Recognition crossed his face. He evidently didn’t realize I was talking about the wedding at first. “I-I might be able to make it, no promises, but I’ll try. Will I get a chance to kiss the bride?”

“On the cheek,” I laughed. “These lips belong to Micah, alone.”

He surprised me as he pulled me into his arms without warning, “You could at least enjoy a little freedom, before you say ‘I do.’ You know just to make sure you’re making the right choice.”

“Let go of me, Ryan. You are a great friend, but that is all I can offer,” I scowled, pushing my way out of his arms. “If you don’t want to keep me as a friend, I’ll under-”

“Ah, Leese, never, ever think that I don’t want to be your friend, but how would I know that you’re sure if I didn’t ask?”

I grinned and gave him a quick hug, putting a brief kiss on his cheek, “September 15th and you can return that kiss.”

He smiled broadly.

“On my cheek,” I finished.

With that I left and headed home, wondering the whole time what state Micah would be in when I got there.

I pulled into the drive way at 5:15. Mom’s car was missing and I was somewhat relieved because it meant Micah and I would have some private time to discuss my time spent with Ryan, and how he handled allowing me that freedom.

The door from the garage to the house was locked and when I opened it, the alarm gave its shrill warning. I quickly entered the code, realizing I was all alone. Micah’s car was in the garage, so he evidently rode with Mom and Kimmy somewhere. I grabbed my cell. Two rings and he answered the phone. They were at one of Mom’s favorite restaurants having dinner.

“I half expected Ryan would have asked you to have dinner with him or else I would have waited for you. We only left the house about fifteen minutes ago. Do you want to join us?”

I was actually tired from my adventure and, after all the time I spent driving Ryan’s car with the windows rolled down, I felt like half of the air strip was clinging to my skin. There were leftovers in the fridge, so I told him to enjoy himself and I’d see him when they came home.

I showered first and then slipped on a bikini top with a cotton over-shirt and a pair of short-shorts. The last thing I had eaten were pancakes this morning so I was starving by the time I came downstairs and began digging through the fridge. There was plenty of Hawaiian Chicken left over from last night along with Somen salad. I was reaching for a slice of mango bread when I saw the bottle of wine in the fridge. Mom would occasionally have a glass of wine at a restaurant, but she didn’t keep it in the house.

This was a bottle of Italian wine and it had been opened. It appeared several glasses had been consumed; I could only pray that Micah didn’t buy this in response to having left me in Ryan’s hands today. I didn’t like the idea of his drinking and I know he knew that. I began to think about what Ryan said to me several times today about the fact that I really didn’t know Micah that well and I might be jumping into something I would regret. I couldn’t imagine any regrets between Micah and me, but I still didn’t want to discover he had a weakness for alcohol.

I was feeling the heat of anger building inside me. I knew it wasn’t hard liquor, like the rum he once tried to get me to drink, but why did he need it at all? Wasn’t he happy enough to be here with me? Did he really need to have an occasional drink to satisfy something within him? I was starting to boil over. I nibbled a few bites from my dinner, but I lost the need for food. What I needed was an emotional release before my thoughts consumed me. I put the plate back in the fridge and went to the one place in our home where I knew could take my mind off my fears for a little while; my music studio.

Mom had the studio built off the apartment by the pool cabana so when I wanted to really crank up the volume, I wouldn’t disturb the whole house, or the neighbors. It was heavily sound proofed, although it could still be heard from outside the studio, but just as a muffled noise that didn’t travel far. We had mirrored the room on all four sides and put in the ballet bars for dance practice for both Kimmy and myself, but I didn’t do ballet anymore. I just liked to dance and sing when I wanted the world to go away.