Susan Mallery - Under Her Skin

“Don’t go there,” she told herself, but it was too late. She’d started the downward spiral and all that stood between her and the bad place was a lifetime of people walking away.

Her mother, who had not cared enough to take her little girl when she left. Jed, who wasn’t able to love anyone but himself. Pru, who had abandoned Lexi and her daughters when she’d decided it was better to be dead than deal with the fact that her husband loved what she represented rather than who she was. Andrew, who had only wanted her for what she could bring to the table.

“Time for a pity party break,” she said aloud, standing and drawing in a deep breath. She knew where this was going. She would feel worse and worse until she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. It was stupid and a complete waste of time.

If she was a jogger, this would be a great time to go for a run. Why hadn’t she opened a gym instead of a spa? A massage or facial would only give her too much time to think.

The phone rang before she could figure out another way to distract herself.

“It’s Kendra,” the caller said before Lexi could identify herself. The teen sounded frantic. “It’s C.C. Something’s wrong. I don’t know what it is, but I think he’s going to die. Oh, God, Lexi, hurry. Please hurry.”

Lexi drove like a maniac, praying that she wouldn’t get pulled over and that if she was stopped that it would be by Dana who would yell and scream and possibly ticket her, but only after she’d gotten her home in record time.

She stopped in front of the house with a screech of brakes, then raced up the front stairs, two at a time.

“Where are you?” she yelled.

“Up here, but he’s okay.”

Kendra stood at the top of the stairs, C.C. cradled in her arms. The kitten looked fine, but Kendra was a mess. Mascara dripped down her cheeks and her nose was red, as if she’d been sobbing.

Lexi hurried up to meet them.

Kendra passed over C.C. who snuggled close and purred before batting at Lexi’s dangling earring.

“What happened?”

Kendra sniffed. “I don’t know. We were just playing. I had the ribbon and I was pulling it, then he just hunched over and started making this horrible choking noise. His sides were going back and forth. I think maybe it was some kind of seizure or something.” Tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. It was awful. I didn’t hurt him. I swear. I wouldn’t do that. He sleeps with me and I…I love him. He’s just a kitten. I wouldn’t do anything.”

“I know,” Lexi told her. “Let’s go back in your room.”

Kendra led the way, her shoulders still shaking as she cried. Lexi tried to pass her the kitten, but the teen shook her head.

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You didn’t. It sounds like he had a fur ball. It’s really common. Cats groom themselves and they swallow the fur. I’ll pick up a brush and you can brush him every day. That’s supposed to help.”

Kendra paused in the entrance to her room. “A fur ball?”

“Uh-huh. If he keeps getting them, we’ll talk to the vet to see if there’s something else we should be doing, but the brushing will help.”

Kendra reached for C.C. who went easily into her arms. The girl held the kitten close.

“Don’t die,” she whispered.

“He’s not going to die.”

Kendra raised her head. “Are you mad?”

“Because the cat had a fur ball? No.”

“About other stuff. What I said before. When we went riding.”

Oh. That. Lexi didn’t know what to say. “I understand why you act the way you do. I wish you weren’t so mean about it.”

More tears filled Kendra’s eyes. “I know. I’m awful. I don’t want to be that way. The words just come out. I get scared and…I don’t know.”

“I know a little about what you’re feeling,” Lexi said, knowing she had to tread carefully. “The dad thing is complicated.”

Kendra sank onto her bed. “I’m fine with my dad.” She kept her face buried in the kitten’s fur. “Nothing needs to change.”

Lexi pulled up the desk chair and sat. “My dad is a pretty successful businessman. He was raised in that big house you saw. Glory’s Gate. But he wanted more and he grew the family fortune until he had everything he wanted. Everywhere he went, people knew who he was. Women were constantly trying to catch him and men wanted to be his best friend. It was really tough for a kid to compete with that.”

Lexi let the past flow over her, so she could remember how it had all felt. “I remember being lonely the most. My parents split and my mom left me with my dad. I never knew why.”

Kendra looked at her. “Your mom didn’t keep you?”

Lexi shook her head. “I had nannies, but they never stayed long. Then my dad remarried and Pru, his new wife, was nice. I liked her. She had Skye and Izzy and I wasn’t alone anymore. But none of it was enough. I wanted more. I wanted my dad to notice me.”

“Did he?”

“No. And I’m still trying. I’m almost thirty and I want my dad to approve of me. It doesn’t go away. Those feelings. We all have them. When you’re here, you have to deal with your dad and that’s not comfortable. I’m here because of him, so I’m an easy target.”

Kendra brushed her cheeks. “Don’t be nice to me,” she said. “It doesn’t help.”

“I’d like us to be friends.”

“Grown-ups don’t stay friends with teens.”

“We could try.”

“Why would you want to? I’ve been mean to you.”

“You haven’t been so bad.”

Kendra swallowed. “Okay. We could do something. You know, for fun.”

“What about getting pedicures? I happen to own a day spa that’s a pretty cool place. Want to go this weekend?”

Kendra smiled. “That would be good.”

“Then I’ll make the appointment.”

“YOU KNOW I HATE this kind of stuff,” Dana complained. “But then you stick me with a trainee?”

The young woman who had just picked up Dana’s right foot glanced up, obviously startled by the remark. “I’ll be very careful,” she said, looking terrified. “I’m nearly ready to graduate.”

Dana gave her a tight smile. “Sorry. That wasn’t about you. You’re, um, fine.” She glared at Lexi. “You are so in trouble.”

Lexi leaned back in the comfortable massage chair. “Five extra people on a Saturday morning is a strain. I solved it by calling in more help.”

Skye smiled at Dana. “This is good for you. You need more girly stuff in your life.”

Izzy lifted up her eye gel-pack. “She’s right. Come on, Dana. Would it kill you to get a little polish on your toes?”

“No guy is worth the trouble,” Dana grumbled.

“You need a better class of guys,” Skye said. “Some of them are very much worth the trouble. Look at Lexi. What wouldn’t she do for Cruz?”

Lexi thought about how lonely her bed had been for the past couple of weeks. She and Cruz were barely speaking. She didn’t approve of his lack of relationship with his daughter, and he thought she should just stay out of it.

“Cruz is special,” she said, knowing in some ways it was true.

“Ick factor alert,” Kendra said. “I’m sitting right here and you’re talking about my dad. Try to remember that.”

“Sorry,” Skye said, smiling at the teen.

They sat in the pedicure room at Venus Envy. Kendra and Dana had glasses of soda next to them while the sisters enjoyed herbal tea. The music was soothing, the company fun and Lexi was determined to have a good time with absolutely no tension or awkward conversations.

“How’s Martin?” Izzy asked, then she adjusted her eye patch. “Kendra, Martin is Dana’s boyfriend. I use the term loosely because he’s a nerd, and not in a good way. She continues to date the same kind of guy. A wimp she can push around until she gets bored and leaves. You can learn from her example. If you find yourself having the same problems over and over with different guys, it’s not them. It’s you.”

“Why did I leave my gun in the car?” Dana asked.

“Were you planning to shoot her or yourself?” Lexi asked.

“I’m not sure.” Dana glared at Izzy. “Martin is perfectly fine.”

“But he’s getting boring, right?” Skye asked. “You’re so predictable. You need someone challenging. Someone slightly dangerous and sexy. Someone like Cruz.”

“Ick factor alert,” Kendra said.

“Sorry.” Skye smiled at her. “But your dad is hot.”

Lexi leaned over and patted Kendra’s arm. “You just have to let it go. Pretend he’s not your dad.”

“That’s really hard.” Kendra turned to Dana. “What’s wrong with Martin?”

“Nothing. He’s very nice. A computer programmer. He’s a gentleman.”

“Are you scared of strong men so you date the ones who aren’t?” All four of them stared at her. Kendra shrank back in her chair. “What did I say?”

“You were very insightful,” Lexi said.

“Someone’s watching a little too much Dr. Phil,” Dana muttered. “I’m not interested in a serious relationship. I just want to get…” She paused, as if remembering there was a fifteen-year-old in the room. “I just want someone nice.”

“You want a boyfriend,” Kendra said with a sigh. “Me, too. There’s this guy I like, but he’s only interested in cheerleaders. I thought about trying out, but I’m not really into that.”

“If the boy in question only likes cheerleaders, then he’s pretty shallow,” Skye said. “He wouldn’t be a good boyfriend. You want someone who likes you for who you are.”

“Do you want a foot massage?” Dana’s technician asked tentatively.

“Of course she would,” Lexi said, holding in a grin.

Dana narrowed her gaze. “You want to play dirty? Fine. Gee, Kendra, did you know that Lexi tried out for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders?”

“Seriously?” Kendra’s voice was a squeal. “You did? What happened?”

Lexi writhed in her chair. “That’s so unfair.”