“But, you know Terri’s working and so is Rick.” C.C. tried to reason with her sister. “Wouldn’t it be better to have Mario here? I mean… to help you get out of that shitty mood?”
“No.” Brooke took a long draw from the bottle in her hand, and then set it down.
“Brooke?” C.C. waited until she knew she had her sister’s attention. “Why are you doing this? Why are you throwing those walls up again?”
“Because I was safer with them there. It didn’t hurt then,” her voice was cold and hard.
“Sis, that hurt is called love.” C.C. softened her voice and hoped she wouldn’t be thrown out for what she was going to ask. “Be honest with me. You love Sam, don’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter. Obviously, I’m destined to be alone or else that fucking bitch wouldn’t continue to come back and bite me in the ass.” Brooke sat up, and wielded a dart at the last hanging picture of Loran, hitting it in the heart.
“Bitch? What bitch?” C.C. mumbled then looked at Brooke’s head seeing it turned slightly toward her revealing one raised eyebrow. “Oh, you mean…love.”
“No, Loran. Every time I let those walls down, I get burned. Sometimes I just wish she were never born… that I was never born.”
“You can’t mean that, Brooke.” C.C. laughed, trying to lighten the mood, “Who would have knocked all that sense into me?”
Brooke turned to her right, showing three-quarters of her face, and stared out of the corner of her eyes at C.C. She didn’t say anything. It was the kind of stare that could bring a roomful of people to silence.
“And you still do.” The young woman gulped feeling the fear that was being instilled by her menacing looking sister. “Just not in the same way.”
Turning her head away from C.C., Brooke’s gaze fell back on the bottle next to her. Without warning, she picked it up and launched it across the room, hitting it off the wall, shattering into a million pieces on the floor.
“Maybe you should be mad at me, instead of yourself. I mean… if I didn’t move out this year, you would have never met…”
Just then Brooke turned around toward C.C. and reached for another bottle. The dim lighting cast shadows across her features until she was directly under the small ceiling spotlight.
Seeing the faint imprint of a small hand on Brooke’s cheek, C.C. gasped, “God, Brooke…is that…I…ah…knew Sam was upset but…”
Brooke turned away from C.C., “Go away. Please.”
The younger woman’s temper now sprang into view. “And do what? Watch the two of you wallow in self pity?” C.C. got up from the stool and took the step or two toward her sister, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder.
“Please, C.C. Take Sam with you. She doesn’t want to be here. Don’t forget to take Mario for the ride, he’ll love it.”
“You know Sis, you once told me to fight for what I believe in.”
“I don’t believe in anything anymore,” Brooke whispered as she shook her head.
C.C. poked her sister, “Why are you giving up, running and hiding again?”
“Because I can,” Brooke lashed out. “Because I can’t make her stay and I can’t make her love me. I can’t make her forgive me,” the woman’s voice faltered.
“I think it’s because you’re afraid.” C.C. challenged her sister, “Yeah, you heard me. You’re afraid of letting someone love you. You taste it and run for fear that you’ll really see what it’s all about.”
“I’m not running. I’m still here,” the angry voice grew louder, then just as quickly softened, confiding, “It’s Sam, she doesn’t want to be here.”
C.C. couldn’t believe all the misunderstanding that was going on. “I think you both need to forgive yourselves first, then maybe you can think about forgiving the other.” The young woman started for the door, disgusted in her own sister’s bullheadedness.
“Chase, the keys are by the front door.”
The brunette turned around disgustedly, “If you two could only see what a great couple you make. Damn, I wish I could find someone that I could build a life around. Sure it’s not easy. Hell, you’ve never been easy. But that’s you Brooke… and for some god awful reason Sam loves you.”
“Not anymore she doesn’t.” Brooke let out a breath, allowing her shoulders to slump forward even more.
“You want to bet?” C.C. crossed the room until she was face to face with Brooke. “She’s crying her eyes out right now out on the deck. You don’t cry because you think you lost something that you hated. No, you do it because you love it so much that it hurts.”
“She already told me she didn’t know if it was possible to fix us,” Brooke protested.
“You know, people say and do a lot of funny things when they’re hurt. That just might have been one of them. Like you… with the beer and the destruction.” C.C. watched Brooke’s expression change at the mention of her own self-indulgence. “What’s the matter Brooke, am I hitting too close to home?”
Blue eyes showed the torment that Brooke was in. “Chase, I love her. I love Sam. You know, she didn’t believe me when I told her?”
“So what are you going to do about it? Let her walk off the face of the earth, or try to start again? Only this time for real, not hiding anything or letting the other one have any misunderstanding.”
There was dead silence in the room as Brooke mulled over what C.C. had said. For once, maybe she’s got a good point there. Brooke closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves. “Take the dog for a ride, C.C.” Brooke opened her eyes, looking into her sister’s and confided, “I wanna talk to Sam and I want you to take Mario for a drive. That way I’ll… we’ll have no interruptions.”
“You care more about that dog than you do yourself, you know that? Maybe you should put a little more time and thought on you and what makes you happy.”
Brooke put the bottle in her hand down. “Yeah, yeah…come on.” The musician headed for the door and stumbled down the shambles of a hallway heading for the stairs.
C.C. watched her sister climb the stairs, hanging on to the railing. “Okay, but I’m not staying out all God damn day,” she yelled at her sister.
Sam stood out on the deck, soaking in the quiet of the world around her. The wind blowing through the trees and shrubbery felt like it might be able to take her away from the troubles that surrounded her and she prayed that it would. I never wanted to feel like this. She raised her eyes to the heavens and prayed that her life would settle back down to how it was before… to how she and Brooke… her thoughts were disturbed by the sound of someone stumbling down below her in the driveway.
“What the…” Sam watched as Brooke made a rather not so straight line for the Jeep, with Mario following right behind her.
“Come on boy, get in.” Brooke held the door open for the animal, then closed it and started for the driver’s side, letting her hand rest on the vehicle from time to time as she made her way around it. She stopped at the driver’s door and opened it.
Pangs of terror went surging through Sam’s body. She drew her hand up to her mouth and called out trying to stop the woman, “Brooke!”
Brooke tossed the keys up in the air and caught them, then leaned into the seat of the Jeep for her cell phone. “Here,” she tossed the keys again but this time to C.C. who had emerged from the shadows behind her. “Take my cell with you.” The older woman looked around trying to see who was calling her name, “What?”
“I… ah… I was hoping that you weren’t going to drive… ah… I mean… go somewhere,” Sam didn’t try to hide her concern as she called down from the deck.
“No,” Brooke shielded her eyes as she looked up into the sun, facing the deck. “I’m not going to risk killing my dog just because I’m an idiot.”
“I didn’t say you were an idiot.”
“Bullshit!” Brooke strode back toward the house, stopping at the door, then turned and glared at C.C. “You going or are you staying for the show?”
C.C. climbed into the jeep and settled herself in the seat, reaching over to pet the dog. “Come on, Mario.” Cranking the ignition, she slipped it into reverse and slowly backed out, then took off down the driveway.
Sam watched the jeep as it maneuvered off down the driveway, then finally lost it behind the shrubbery. The blonde’s attention was now focused on Brooke as she disappeared into the house. The young woman’s brow furrowed for a moment or two as she considered what Brooke could be doing. She finally gave up guessing. Sam turned to the door, surprised to see Brooke standing there watching her.
“What?” Blue eyes pierced the sunlight making Sam look away.
“I didn’t think… I mean…”
“I may be a lot of things, Sam, but a drunk driver is not one of them,” Brooke opened the door and walked on to the deck.
The blonde took a defensive stance, placing her hands on her hips. “Let’s cut the crap, Brooke. I’m not playing anymore games.”
“Me, neither. I’m too old for that shit. Sam…” Brooke took a few steps closer and looked the woman right in the eye, “I love you. I want to be with you, and if that’s too much, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say or do to change what you’re thinking or feeling and it’s not my place to do that. You’re free to make up your own mind. I just wanted you to know what was in my heart before you decide what you have to do.” The dark-haired woman took in a breath then let it out saying with all sincerity, “I love you.”
“Too much?” Sam felt guilty now, “How could that be too much?”
“I dunno…” Brooke watched as Sam gave a weak smile. “You seemed like your mind was pretty well made up in the studio earlier.”
Sam looked down to the ground. “My mind was pretty well made up at that movie. I was clueless before I met you.” The blonde squinted, looking up to the taller woman as she walked closer. “Now… I can see that there’s meaning to life,” she smiled. “A… meaning to love.”
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