“Her and Brian’s whole life revolved around the law when she found out that she was pregnant with him. I used to tease her about having to make a choice, be a mommy or be a lawyer.” Brooke remembered her sister’s world at that time. “If we tag it Law, the kid will know who it’s from.”

“You sisters do have a wild sense of humor.” Sam chose another package and started wrapping it.

“Well, we know Randi does.” Brooke chuckled. “Not sure about Terri yet.”

“So, tell me, what are they going to call your kid, huh?” Sam looked over to Brooke. “Sticks? Bam-bam? No, I got it,” she paused for a dramatic moment, then announced, “Thumper.”

“My kid? Don’t you mean our kid?” Brooke teased the blonde with a little seductive wink, watching Sam start to blush.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Sam looked back to the package she was wrapping, the blush already edging up her face.

“Oh, I love it when you blush. Keep it up and Chastity will be born red from all of your blushing.”

Sam could feel the heat of the blush starting all over again. “Hey, stop it,” she chastised the woman, then grew very quiet. “Brooke, did you ever think about something and know that it was waiting to happen to you? Like there was nothing else that your life was meant for?” Brooke shrugged so Sam continued. “You know, something that could really turn your life around from the path that you were on?” Sam looked over to see blue eyes gazing at her.

“I… uh… don’t know. I never really thought about it. I guess I’ve sort of always felt kind of empty, like there was something missing.” Brooke looked down at the floor feeling shy. “That is…until now.”

“Missing?” Sam reached over and placed her hand on Brooke’s arm. “What could be missing from your life? You have a wonderful family… a nice house…”

“You.” Blue eyes stared directly at Sam.

“Oh…” the blonde became silent for a moment. “I wasn’t thinking of… well, me.”

“I do have a wonderful family, Sam, but there are some things that your blood family just can’t give you.” She leaned over and placed a kiss on Sam’s cheek. “You… you are my family, Sam.”

“What do I give you, Brooke?”

The dark-haired woman took in a deep breath, then started. “You make me feel complete. That void is gone now that you’re here. You let me love you and then bless me with your love in return. I can’t stand being away from you because when I am, that empty spot comes back every time you’re not here. The only thing that fills it up, is knowing that you’re coming back. I knew something was missing from my life but didn’t know what until I met you.”

“I’m really glad that I can do that for you. Fill up that void.”

“Before you, I never wanted to be with anybody. It didn’t matter. Now, I don’t want to be without you.”

“And you won’t be if I can help it.” Sam kissed Brooke on her forehead then went back to her wrapping. Only a few minutes had gone by before her thoughts got the better of her.

“Brooke, why was C.C. so worried about you when we had that fight? Was it because of that void?”

“What?” Brooke looked over to Sam. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe I’m just over reacting here, but C.C. really wanted to get back here to check on you. She said something about…” Sam bit at her lip, then continued. “Oh, I don’t remember exactly now, but I do know that she was very concerned about your welfare.”

“Because of the argument you and I had?” Brooke took the wrapped package from Sam’s hands and started to label it. “I don’t know, she never said anything to me.”

“Did something happen in the past to make her think you might harm yourself?” Sam watched the expression on her lover’s face become sullen.

“Oh…”

Sam stopped what she was doing and moved closer to Brooke. “Honey, are you alright?” She gently rubbed the taller woman’s back as if to ease the pain she saw written in her face. Sam barely heard the next word as it came out in a hushed whisper.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Uh… No, not really. I mean… I will but…” Brooke stole a glance at Sam’s face, seeing it full of concern. “I’m just not sure you want to hear it.”

“If it concerns you, I do. I want to know everything about you. Nothing that you tell me would make me feel any differently about you.” Sam paused effectively before adding, “Not now, not ever.”

“Even if I told you that C.C. did have reason to be concerned?”

The younger woman nodded as she took Brooke’s hands in her own. “I love you, Brooke, and I am concerned, too.” Sam’s eyes conveyed her love, letting the older woman feel the support that was being sent her way.

Brooke looked down to her hands, then sat back against the couch. “It was after I left the band and came home. James and Peter were my best friends. We grew up together…”

“I’m listening,” Sam settled in next to Brooke and gave the woman’s hand in her own a little squeeze.

“After what happened with James, I just couldn’t stand it anymore, especially when Peter sided with him.” Brooke raised her gaze to see the intent look on Sam’s face. “I had lost both of my best friends,” she paused, “my music…” she left out a sigh, “…my dignity.”

“Oh, Hon,” Sam gave her hand a little squeeze.

“James betrayed me. I trusted him more than anyone.” Brooke shook her head and looked away from Sam. “God, was I ever wrong.”

Sam’s voice was quiet and soothing, “We all make mistakes, Brooke. We just have to learn to live with them.”

“Well, I couldn’t live with his,” Brooke’s voice grew very quiet, “or at least didn’t think that I could.” The older woman stared off like she was in some kind of trance as the events of that time came back to her. “He drugged me, Sam. He spiked my drink.”

Green eyes narrowed, searching Brooke’s face. “What?”

“I woke up on the bus, naked,” she paused to swallow trying to keep the bile from coming into her mouth as the scene unfolded in her brain. “He was taking off his clothes when I woke up.”

“And nobody stopped him?” Sam’s voice became indignant.

“Nobody else was there but the driver and well, he was driving. James had me in the lounge in the back. Peter had some chick in his bunk. So, he never…uhm, you know was paying any attention to what was going on.” Blue eyes stole a glance in Sam’s direction then quickly came away as she continued on with her story. “We got into it, James and I. We fought, well, wrestled mostly but I did get in some blows. I punched him, kicked him… any way, we both ended up on the floor. Peter walked in after hearing all the commotion and well, you can guess how it looked to him. He sided with James.”

“HE WHAT?” Sam’s voice grew louder.

“Peter was never sober then and I guess he thought that…” Brooke shrugged. “Lets just say that James is a mastermind when it comes to brainwashing.”

The blonde jumped up and started pacing back and forth, “I can’t believe…”

“Sam?” Brooke timed Sam’s pass by her and reached out grabbing her hand and held on to it. “Baby, calm down.”

“And Peter bought his bullshit?” Sam looked at Brooke with a skeptical eye.

“Not for long.”

“Why? What happened?” Sam knelt down on the floor facing Brooke.

“He sobered up one day and realized that I wasn’t there.”

Sam sat down on the floor letting out a loud sigh. “Humph! Seems a little too late to me.”

“Baby, I told you Peter wasn’t the same as he is now. Please don’t get angry at him.” Brooke watched Sam’s face, seeing the perturbed look, she continued. “Anyway, I came home from the tour.”

“God, Brooke, just let anyone try to hurt you now. They’ll have to look out for me because I’m not going to let that happen.”

“I know baby, I know.” Brooke looked over to Sam. “There’s more Sam. C.C. did have reason to be concerned.”

Green eyes shot a glance off to the side, “And I bet I’m not going to like it, am I?”

“Uh…no.” Brooke’s face took on a very serious look as she pressed on with her story. “I came home and for a few weeks, picked up on their drinking habit. I guess I was depressed. I didn’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone.” Brooke sighed, “I just wanted to drink myself into oblivion.”

“No,” Sam bit her lip thinking of how much pain the woman had to have been going through.

“I had gone with C.C. over to see Randi. She had just had surgery on her shoulder.” Brooke’s voice became monotone as she stated the rest of the story. “I was drunk. I went to the bathroom and found her prescription.”

“Please tell me that C.C. drove,” concerned eyes searched Brooke’s face.

“Yes, she did. I might’ve wanted everything to end for me but not her. She was just a kid.”

“Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?” Sam swallowed hard. “Go on.”

“Because I had a raging headache, I took half the bottle of Randi’s prescription to get rid of it. I refilled my beer about a half an hour later, dropped the beer bottle, then went to pick up the broken pieces and overdid it a bit with the glass.”

Brooke looked over to see horror-filled eyes and got up from her seat on the floor. Running her hands through her long hair, she walked over to the fireplace and gazed into the flames, wishing that it could consume her memories, forever erasing them from her mind. Slowly she put her hand on the mantel to steady her, then closed her eyes. “I OD’d, Sam.” She paused for only a second when the words sounded in her ears. “I woke up four days later in a hospital, sober for the first time in weeks.”

“But you didn’t mean to. You just…”

Brooke turned to face the young woman. “I don’t know Sam. Right now, I couldn’t tell you exactly what I was thinking at the time.”