K. Robinson - Twisted Ties

“Fine, but we need to get out of here before she sees us.”

“Let’s go,” I said as I threw a few bills on the table.

I turned to the door while Ally was standing behind the counter. She was in deep conversation with some guy that I assumed was the manager. As long as she kept talking to him, she wouldn’t notice our escape.

I didn’t breathe until we were out of the restaurant and walking down the sidewalk toward where my car was parked. Andy’s car was parked a few spaces behind mine.

“Let’s head over to your apartment to wait,” I told him as I unlocked my car.

He nodded. “I’ll see you in a few.”

I was a nervous wreck all the way back to Andy’s house. I’d never factored seeing Ally into my plans, especially seeing her and Jesse together at once. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d found him since she had a job here. If she hadn’t, she would have moved on and continued her search. I mean, come on. She hadn’t come all this way to get a job as a waitress.

How could he even stand to look at her after what she’d put me through? Surely to God, he had to know that she’d played us both. Jesse wasn’t stupid.

Oh god, what if she’d come all this way to tell him how much she loved him, and he took her in? What if they are together now? My stomach rolled at the thought of her touching him. I didn’t think I could handle seeing the two of them together.

By the time I made it to Andy’s, I was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. He had to practically carry me up to his apartment. Once he managed to get me inside, he put me on the couch and sat down beside me.

“Emma, look at me. You’ve got to breathe,” he whispered as he hugged me.

I relaxed into him, unable to sit up. Every bad possibility that I could think of was rolling through my head. What if she tells him? I didn’t think I could stand to look at Jesse, knowing he knew just what I’d done.

“I can’t handle this,” I cried out.

“Yes, you can. You didn’t come all this way just to give up. So what if Ally is here? It doesn’t change the fact that you still care about him. It’s been two years, Emma, since you walked away from him, and you still can’t let go. That should tell you something. You still love him as much as you did back then. People search their entire lives to find someone they care about as much as you care about Jesse. You can’t just walk away because of Ally.”

“What if she tells him?” I whispered.

I felt him tense.

“There’s nothing we can do if she does. I told you from the beginning that I thought he should know. I never wanted to hide it from him. Lying to him won’t make it go away. It’ll only haunt you until you tell him the truth.”

“I plan to tell him once we get everything worked out. I’m just afraid that he’ll hate me.” That was mostly true. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I had ever planned to tell Jesse the truth. I wasn’t sure I could handle his reaction.

“Then, he’ll hate me, too. What’s done is done, and there’s nothing either of us can do about it. I wish I could change what happened, but I can’t.”

“We were stupid,” I said.

“We were.”

I closed my eyes as the worst mistake of my life played over and over in my head.

“Emma? Are you okay?” Andy whispered in the darkness as we sat together on his couch.

I raised my head to look up at him. “No.”

“Me either,” he said as his other hand came up to cup my face.

A small amount of light was coming from the kitchen. It was enough to see him leaning down toward me. I only had a second to realize what he was about to do before he did it. I froze as his lips crushed against mine. I gasped in shock, but I didn’t pull away.

My head was fuzzy as I opened my mouth to allow his tongue to slip inside. I moaned as he pushed me, so I was lying back on the couch with him on top of me. Fuck, this feels good. My head swam from both lust and the alcohol I’d consumed.

Both of his hands went to my hips and pulled me tighter against him. I could feel him through his shorts, and lust shot through my veins, making me moan. His breath was ragged as he kissed a trail from my lips to my neck. I moved my head to the side to give him better access.

“You smell so good,” I panted.

“You taste good,” he muttered before running his tongue across my skin.

Goose bumps broke out erupted everywhere as he continued to kiss and lick his way across my skin. He raised me up long enough to pull my shirt over my head before pushing me back down onto the couch. His hands skimmed across my stomach, causing my muscles to jump. His kisses felt like fire as he kissed between my breasts and down my stomach. I wiggled my hips, trying to feel his thickness against me.

“Emma? Emma! Where did you go?” Andy asked.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about…”

“About, what?”

“That night.”

He was silent as he studied me. So many things had been left unsaid between us, even after all this time. We’d talked about what had happened but not really. Every time one of us had mentioned it, the other would change the subject. I knew that we would have to talk about it eventually, but I couldn’t. If we admitted to what had happened, then it would be true.

“Don’t think about it. Think about how you’re going to get Jesse back,” Andy said as he hugged me.

“You’re right. I can’t let Ally destroy everything again. I came all this way to find Jesse, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

I felt like an idiot as I sat outside in my car with Andy, waiting for Ally to leave work. It felt wrong to follow someone, like we were stalking her, but I didn’t have a better plan at the moment.

The restaurant had closed almost twenty minutes ago. We’d been sitting here for over half an hour, and there was still no sign of Ally. Surely, she would be leaving before much longer.

I had class early tomorrow, and I didn’t want to sit out here all night. I could barely keep my eyes open as it was. More than once, Andy had nudged me when my eyes started to close.

This is getting ridiculous.

I opened my mouth to suggest going home and trying again another night when the restaurant door opened. Ally and a few other girls came out. I watched as Ally waved good night to them, and then she walked over to an older model Ford Escort.

“Showtime,” I said to Andy as I started my car.

It was almost eleven, but a few cars were still on the road. As I followed her, I made sure to stay far enough back, so she wouldn’t notice me. She had no reason to suspect someone was following her, but it would look suspicious if the same car tailed her the entire way home. She slowed and turned into a driveway next to a one-story white house. I was surprised at just how close to campus she was.

I parked a few cars down the street and watched as she walked inside the house.

“Now what?” Andy asked.

“I have no idea. Maybe wait around for a few to see if someone comes out?”

“Really?” Andy asked in disbelief.

“Do you have a better idea?” I shot back.

“Yeah, let’s go knock on the door and see if Jesse answers.”

“And what if he doesn’t? Just because she’s here doesn’t mean he is. This might not even be her house. She could be visiting a friend.”

“Okay, you’ve got a point. But do you really think someone is going to randomly walk out of the house this late at night?”

I sighed. I didn’t, but I wasn’t sure what to do. “Not really.”

“Why don’t we come back tomorrow? If the car is still there, we’ll know it’s her house.”

“I guess,” I said, unwilling to leave just yet.

“Come on, Emma, we need to go. We’re starting to act like stalkers.”

He had a point. I never thought I’d find myself desperate enough to sit outside a house, hoping that someone walked out.

“Okay. I’ll drive by tomorrow before class to see if anyone is around.”

No one was outside when I drove by the next morning. I hadn’t really expected to see anyone, but it still sucked. I was starting to feel desperate. There was a good chance that he was in that house, and I couldn’t even see him. I hated the fact that he might be living with Ally, but I couldn’t do a thing about it. I just had to wait and hope for the best.

My two classes were much like the day before. In each one, we went over our class syllabus the entire time. Abby wasn’t in either of them, but I managed to meet a few new people who seemed nice enough.

I sat by myself at lunch. I knew that I could sit with one of the girls I’d met earlier, but I didn’t want to. I was too preoccupied with finding Jesse to be social. After lunch, I dropped off my books in my dorm room before getting in my car and driving to the restaurant where Ally worked.

Her car was parked out front, so I knew she wouldn’t be home. Now was my chance. I had to go while she wasn’t at the house. I was terrified as I drove to the house she had entered last night.

Maybe if I knocked on the door, Jesse would answer. Again, I knew I was grasping at straws, but I didn’t care.

I parked a little ways down from the house and stepped out of my car. My heart was beating out of my chest as I walked up the steps to the front door. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door. When no one answered, I knocked again. I stood outside, feeling like an idiot, as I waited for someone to answer. After the third time, I finally gave up and accepted that no one was home. I turned and walked back down the steps and to my car. I sat in my car and waited for over an hour to see if someone would come home.