The doctors had assured us that Emma would wake up. She’d needed time to heal, both mentally and physically. But as one day had turned into two and then three, I’d started to wonder if she’d ever come back to me. Would she want to? It was my fault that she’d suffered so much. If it weren’t for me, she never would have even met Ally. I couldn’t blame Emma if she hated me for everything that had happened to her.

Andy had tried to make me feel better, but it had been no use. Until Emma’s eyes had opened, I’d known I would never find peace. While I’d blamed myself, Andy had put the blame on himself as well. He’d kept saying that Ally was his sister, and he should have known something wasn’t right with her. I wasn’t sure which of us had felt worse.

Emma’s dad had been silent most of the time. For a rock star, he was certainly the quiet, thoughtful type. He’d taken time off from the recording studio to stay with Emma in the hospital. The nurses had brought in extra chairs, so her mom, her dad, and I would all have places to sit. Her parents had stayed with her all day just like I had. When nighttime had rolled around, they would both go to their hotel rooms, only to return first thing in the morning.

My mom had stopped in twice to see how Emma was doing. She’d known nothing of what had happened with Ally before we left California or what Ally had done to me recently. My mom had been shocked to learn that the little girl who had practically grown up at our house had become the ruthless person who tried to kill Emma. When I’d told her everything, my mom had cried for both Emma and Ally. She’d cried for Emma because of everything that she’d gone through, and for Ally because it was obvious that she had been very sick, and no one had noticed. Maybe if we had, things could have ended differently for her. Maybe she would still be alive.

I’d never wanted my mom to know what had happened, but I’d had no choice since I refused to go to class. The university had called her when they couldn’t reach me. She’d called me and demanded an explanation, thinking I was just skipping. She hadn’t expected for me to tell her that I was in the hospital with Emma. She’d called the school and let them know that I wouldn’t be back for a while before rushing to the hospital.

When she had seen Emma unconscious and battered in her hospital bed, she’d lost it again. I knew she always liked Emma, but I hadn’t realized how much until I’d seen the fear in her eyes. She had felt as terrified as I had that Emma would never wake up.

The day Emma opened her eyes was the single most important day of my life. I’d thought I’d imagined her eyelids fluttering, but when I’d begged her to open them, she had. It had been obvious that she had been in a lot of pain, but she had woken up. She would be okay, just like the doctors had said she would. The weight that had been sitting on my chest lifted as soon as she had spoken.

* * *

Emma’s mother wanted her to come back to California, but she refused. She said that West Virginia was her home, and she wasn’t leaving. Her mother finally caved after I told her that I’d take her to my house to watch over her. I thought I was slowly starting to grow on her. She’d promised to visit at least once a month, but I had no idea if she really would, and I didn’t care.

Her dad left the day after her mom went home. He wanted to stay, but was forced to fly back only a few days after Emma woke up. The band was three weeks behind schedule, and their label was pressuring them to get their latest album recorded. I promised to keep him informed on how Emma was doing.

Her dad had called the school and informed them of the situation before he flew back to California. She was pulled from all of her classes for the semester, and I went to her dorm room to pack the rest of her things. Only a few things were left there since she’d slowly started bringing her stuff to my house before everything had gone to hell. I packed what was left and brought all of it back to my house. I hoped that having the rest of her stuff with her would help her feel safer once she was back home.

We spent another week in the hospital before Emma was released with strict orders to rest. The doctor gave me a list of psychiatrists in case she needed to talk to someone about what had happened. She’d refused to speak with any of the doctors or nurses about what she’d gone through while she was with Ally.

The day I took her home, Andy helped me get her into my car, and he followed us back to my house. Emma was still sore and extremely weak after three weeks in a hospital bed. We had to help her inside and sit her on the couch. The doctor had prescribed her painkillers to help while she healed.

I had Andy stop by my house to change the locks the day before Emma came home. I didn’t want to take a chance that Ally would come back to hurt Emma again. We would never have closure until Ally’s body was found, and there was no certainty that it would be. I hated that Emma would always be looking over her shoulder. I knew deep down that Ally was gone, but it would be a long time before I stopped looking for her everywhere. I refused to let her or anyone else hurt Emma ever again.

Andy or I stayed with Emma constantly the first few days. Andy was sleeping in Ally’s old room, so he could help out. He would leave for work, but that was it. The guilt that tortured me was also eating him alive. We both felt responsible for what had happened.

Emma and I had never had a chance to talk about the events of that night while she had been in the hospital. Someone had always been around. After she came home, it seemed like Andy would appear anytime I tried to talk to her about it.

She was quiet for the first few days after she had been released from the hospital. She would spend hours on the couch, staring at the wall. I knew she needed to talk about what had happened, but I wasn’t sure how to get her to open up.

I slept on the couch while she stayed in my bed. I missed sleeping beside her, but I was afraid that she didn’t want me there. I didn’t want to push her when she was so fragile. I wouldn’t be the one to break her.

She had nightmares almost every night. She would wake up screaming, and I’d rush to her side. I could never get her to talk about them. Instead, I’d hold her as she cried.

* * *

Weeks passed by in slow motion as Emma’s body slowly healed. Once she was fully healed, Andy moved back into his apartment. I wasn’t sure if he had done it to give us space or for the simple fact that he couldn’t stand to look at her blank face anymore. She only spoke when we would ask her a question. The rest of the time, she was silent.

I finally reached my breaking point one afternoon when I came home to see her sitting in the exact same spot she’d been in when I left hours before. She hadn’t moved a muscle. I couldn’t take this any longer. Either she opened up to me, or I would call her dad. Maybe he could get her to talk or at least set her up with a therapist. She needed to talk to someone even if it wasn’t me. She couldn’t keep living inside of herself.

I slammed my books down on the bedside table harder than I’d meant to. She jumped and looked up at me. I didn’t think she’d even noticed that I’d come home until then.

“Emma, this has to stop.” I sat down next to her on the bed.

“What?”

“You can’t keep living like this. It isn’t working for either of us.”

“You’re right,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry that I came here. I never meant to bring you into this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You want me to leave. I understand why.”

“Emma, I don’t want you to leave. I want you to talk to me.”

“I don’t understand. You’ve been sleeping on the couch, and you barely talk to me.”

“I’m on the couch because I thought it was what you wanted. I thought you needed space. And I’ve tried to talk to you, but it’s kind of hard when you only give me one-word answers. You’ve been living in your own head for weeks, and I have no idea what you’re thinking. You have to help me understand what’s going on in there. I want to help you in any way I can.”

“I don’t want to lose you, but I feel like you’re slipping away, and there’s nothing I can do to change that,” she said.

“I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to. I’ve been trying to give you space, so you can figure things out.”

“I’m so scared of everything. I keep reliving everything that she did to me,” she said as tears filled her eyes.

“She’s gone, Emma. She can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Part of me knows that, but the other part wants to hide under the bed. I keep waiting for her to show up again.”

“You’re safe. She will never touch you again.”

“I kept picturing you every time she would hurt me, you know. I willed myself to be strong enough to overcome it, so I could see you again.” She took a deep breath. “I tried to fight back when she showed up here. I wasn’t strong enough though. She won without even trying. Then, I tried to get away at the house where she was keeping me. I pushed her down a flight of stairs, Jesse. What kind of person does that make me to do something like that to another human being?”

“You were trying to protect yourself. No one thinks badly of you for it.”

I hated how much this was hurting her. Anyone else in her position would have done the exact same thing. Emma was one of the few people in this world who would feel guilt from causing pain to her would-be killer.

“She made me pay for that. That’s why she cut me. She said she wanted to hurt me because I’d hurt her. The pain was horrible, Jesse. I wanted to die when she sliced through my skin.”