Trisha Ashley - Twelve Days of Christmas

‘I can’t guarantee that from Tilda,’ he said dubiously.

‘That’s all right, she doesn’t interfere, just suggests.’

‘Then it’s a bargain,’ he said gravely and offered me a shapely, long-fingered hand the size of a bunch of bananas. At least, unlike Henry, he didn’t spit in his palm first.

After lunch it was pretty clear that the weather wasn’t going to change: in fact, the sky was ominously pewter-coloured again. Coco still didn’t seem to grasp that some way couldn’t be found to get her home and in the end said that if no-one would help her, then she was going to walk to the village and possibly even down to the main road, where her phone would work and she could summon help.

‘Who from?’ asked Guy interestedly.

‘The AA? The police? Someone to take me back to civilisation!’ ‘Look, it’s not going to happen, much though we wish it would,’ Jude said impatiently.

‘No, nothing short of a helicopter could do the trick, I’m afraid,’ Noël told her. ‘But I’m sure we will all have a fun Christmas together,’ he added optimistically.

‘A helicopter!’ She seized on the idea avidly. ‘The air-sea rescue people could—’

‘Oh, don’t be so stupid,’ Jude snapped. ‘You can’t ask the emergency services to helicopter you out, just because you want to go home!’

‘I don’t think there’s really anywhere flat enough for them to land anyway,’ Noël said, considering it. ‘Only the green, and the houses are all a bit too close to that. Of course, they can winch people up.’

‘Well then, Jude could take me down to the main road where there is bound to be somewhere flat enough. I can phone Mummy and Daddy and get them to arrange something. Or you can lend your Land Rover to Guy and we could both—’

‘Nothing doing,’ said Guy. ‘Give it up.’

‘You’re all so horrible to me, except Noël and Michael! I want to talk to Mummy and Daddy,’ she whined.

‘If you start that howling again, I’m going to slap you,’ Becca said uncompromisingly, which seemed to work just as well as threatening her with a drenching.

‘Look, Coco,’ said Michael kindly, ‘I ought to phone my friends and let them know what’s happened to me, so why don’t you and I walk down towards the village together until we can get mobile signals? It’ll give us a chance to see what conditions are really like, too.’

‘All right,’ she agreed sulkily, ‘but if I can find someone who can get me out of here, I’m not coming back!’

‘We’d better find you both something more practical to wear before you set out, then,’ Tilda observed. ‘You won’t get very far dressed like that.’

Becca rooted out old wellingtons and waxed coats that more or less fitted and they set off down the drive, Coco’s rather Dr Zhivago white fur hat striking a strange note. They walked through the virgin snow at the side of the drive, so where the tractor had ploughed must have been too slippery.

‘I hope they’re going to be all right and Coco doesn’t do anything stupid,’ I said, watching them from the sitting-room window until they disappeared into the pine trees above the lodge.

‘Michael seems a sensible chap, so I’ll be surprised if they go very far,’ Jude said, ‘and even Coco will be able to see that it’s impossible to get out. Not that I want her or Guy here, of course, but I’m prepared to put up with them under the circumstances.’

‘Thanks,’ said Guy dryly.

Jude looked measuringly at his brother. ‘Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you behaved last Christmas, though, and how much it all upset Father, when he was so ill,’ he said evenly.

Guy looked slightly shamefaced. ‘No, well — look, I’m really sorry about that! It’s just that as soon as I set eyes on Coco I fell madly in love — she’s so stunningly pretty.’

‘You did? I thought you just took her away because she was my fiancée!’

‘No,’ Guy said wryly, ‘I fell for her, hook, line and sinker. But then I fell out of love with her quite suddenly, just after she sent that engagement notice to the papers. It was quite a wake-up call. What about you?’

‘Me?’ Jude said. ‘Oh, the minute I saw her again. In fact, in retrospect, you might have done me a favour by breaking up our engagement, because I don’t think I’d grasped before quite how silly she is! I must have been blinded by her looks.’

‘Me too,’ agreed Guy. ‘It’s strange how when I thought I was in love with her, everything she said seemed funny and endearing, whereas now it’s intensely irritating.’

‘Still, that’s not her fault — but it is yours that we’re landed with her for Christmas,’ Jude said. ‘You’ll have to look after her and see she doesn’t make a huge nuisance of herself until we can get her out of here — and also has a bit of fun, too.’

‘That’s a tall order — but Michael might do the trick. He’s a good-looking guy and a well-known actor and she seems to be turning her sights on him a bit, did you notice?’

Jude nodded. ‘Yes, she was wittering on about acting and some TV commercial she’d been in. Okay, let’s foist her onto him, that should keep her happy and occupied.’

‘That’s so unfair — Michael’s way too nice for Coco!’ I exclaimed unguardedly and they both looked at me.

‘Have you got your eye on him too? You’ll have to work fast if you don’t want Coco to cut you out,’ advised Guy. ‘You haven’t seen her when she swings into action!’

‘Don’t be silly, I barely know the man,’ I snapped. ‘But I can see he’s good-natured and kind, which is more than can be said of you two!’

‘Attagirl,’ commended Tilda drowsily from the sofa. Then she swung her tiny feet off it and slid them into her marabou and velvet mules. ‘Well, I’m glad you two boys are friends again.’

‘I wouldn’t go quite that far,’ Jude said, but when she insisted on them shaking hands he did so and even allowed a relieved Guy to thump him affectionately on the back.

‘Pax?’ Guy said hopefully.

‘Pax,’ Jude agreed.

‘Have I missed something?’ asked Noël, who had been snoring away on his own sofa like a small buzz-saw for the last ten minutes.

‘The boys are friends again, Noël, and I think I will go and have a little rest on my bed now,’ Tilda said. ‘What are the rest of you going to do this afternoon?’

‘I’m going down to the studio for an hour or two,’ Jude said. ‘Make sure everything is all right.’

‘You could have walked down there with Michael and Coco,’ Noël pointed out.

‘I could, but I didn’t want to.’

‘Can I come with you, Uncle Jude?’ asked Jess.

‘Yes, if you wrap up warmly.’

‘And Holly, too?’

‘Oh no,’ I said quickly, ‘I’ll be glad of some time to myself in the kitchen, there’s lots to do.’

‘You never stop,’ Becca commented. ‘Cooking seems to me to be very hard work!’

‘It is, and especially hard on the feet: that’s why I usually have a rest from it over the winter. But I do like cooking and I’ve never catered for a large Christmas house-party before, so all this is a novelty and a challenge.’

Jess said, ‘Holly’s writing a cookery book, but she hasn’t thought of a good title yet.’

‘We could have a brainstorming session later,’ suggested Guy.

‘Thanks, but I’ll storm my own brain in due course,’ I replied and retired to the comforting ambience of the kitchen. Merlin went with me, though he did cast a ‘my loyalties are divided’ look back at Jude. He’s so much happier when we’re in the same room — and I’m starting to get the feeling that Jess is, too!

I added more vegetables to the soup pot and put it on the Aga, then did a bit of food prepping for later, including bringing the turkey into the kitchen to come to room temperature for tomorrow. But really what I wanted to do was search among the recipe books on the shelf to see if I could find anything like the Revel Cakes that Nancy at the pub had described. And the very first book on the shelf, the big, fat, red hardback copy of Mrs Beeton, turned out instead to be a box, full of handwritten recipes and cuttings from magazines and newspapers: quite fascinating! This kind of thing is like treasure trove to a keen cook.

The Revel Cake recipe was in there, written in a faded copper-plate hand on thick cream paper. I copied it out into my own notebook and put the original back into the box. It seemed to be a spicy bun mixture, with one or two additions, like saffron and a sprinkle of chopped candied peel on top, and I expect it evolved into that over centuries from something very much plainer. You pulled the dough into a long roll and then made little concentric coils, like fossil ammonites. If I was here long enough and had the time, I could make and freeze batches to leave for Twelfth Night. I wondered how many would be needed?

The house seemed to have gone pleasantly peaceful and when I put my head through the sitting room door it was empty, apart from Becca, stretched out asleep on the largest of the sofas. There must be something naturally soporific oozing out of the walls.

I could hear the TV from the morning room, some kind of sport, going by the roars, so Guy was probably in there with Noël.

I threw another log on the fire and then retired to the kitchen again, this time to read a bit more of Gran’s latest journal. Now I’d met Jude Martland and his attractively untrustworthy brother, I even more urgently wanted to discover if Gran really had been pregnant and, if so, whether Ned was going to offer to do the right thing by her. I can’t say it was looking very promising at the moment and if Guy is really like his uncle, then Ned can’t have had any staying power whatsoever. And in that case, I really wouldn’t want to find I was even distantly related to his family!