Sophia closed her eyes again, her body going lax with relief. I’ve never been so ashamed in my whole life. A room full of friends I’ve deceived. A spectacular scene of jealousy. And last but not least, my blood has ruined Alice’s sofa and Alistair’s white sweater.

“Alice,” Sophia slightly moved her head back to look at her. “I’m so sorry this happened. I couldn’t imagine Eth-” she trailed off. “I couldn’t imagine this accident would happen. I ruined your sofa and made a mess of your rug. Please, forgive me.”

“Sophia, there’s nothing to forgive. It was an accident, as you said,” Alice replied politely, not believing her own words.

Alistair snorted at his sister’s words.

Sophia turned her head carefully to look at him. His green eyes were blazing with fury and his mouth was set in a harsh line.

The garden door banged as Ethan returned to the room. “I need to talk to you, Sophia. Now!”

I should have seen Ethan’s reaction coming. Sophia berated herself. I deal with this almost on a daily basis on my foundation. He’s all the symptoms of a domestic abuser.

Now, Sophia, it’s time to do as you say. She looked at Alice and the men and asked, “May I have a minute alone with him?”

All of them turned to glare at her as if she had gone completely insane.

“I- I won’t get up from here, John. Ethan can hold the towel for me. I’m fine.” She glared at Ethan. “We’ll be fine,” she said, as if to reassure them and herself that she could deal with the situation.

Alistair stared at Sophia, shaking his head imperceptibly, trying to communicate that it was crazy being alone in a room with Ethan. Sophia pried his hand softly from the cloth, and squeezed it. “Please,” she murmured.

“No,” he mouthed.

“Please,” she asked again.

Fuck, Sophia. Why are you so stubborn? Let me protect you. Alistair hesitated. He didn’t want to leave her alone. His most intimate desire at that moment was to take her with him, cradled in his arms. To protect her from everything that could hurt her. “I’ll wait outside if you-”

“It will be okay. I can deal with him.”

He shifted on the sofa, still observing her, contemplating the acute need to whisk her away with him. But he couldn’t go against her wishes even if everything inside him screamed for him to do it.

“Sit here, Ethan.” She motioned to the place where Alistair sat.

Alistair got up from the sofa, a burning anger rolling in his stomach, making room for Ethan, letting the other man see the rage in his green eyes.


Sophia waited for Alistair to close the door, feeling the weight of his eyes on her. She let her eyes linger over Ethan’s face.

Oh, baby. “Sophia, I’m sorry. Please, reconsider your decision. I can’t let you go.”

“You don’t understand, do you, Ethan? It’s as I’ve said before, life is not war. Everything for you is veni, vidi, vici. You have to commit, to compromise, to love, to respect. I’m sorry, Ethan, but we can’t go on like this. You know that if we continue with this relationship we’re going to hurt each other.”

“Sophia…” His expression held so much pain that Sophia almost reconsidered.

No. He’ll hurt Gabriela. He’ll hurt me. Physically or emotionally. Stand your ground, Sophia, stand your ground. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. I want to remain your friend, though.”

“Impossible. I don’t want your friendship. I want more, and you know it. I love you, Sophia.” His azure eyes were so sad that they lost their light. “I can’t live without you.”

Sophia’s heart clenched.

Sophia, you know how these situations turn out. You’ve seen it so many times before with those women in Brazil. Don’t falter. “Come now, Ethan. You’re not a teenager. You’re a witty, intelligent man. Love isn’t like this. We have known each other for so little time.”

“It’s never been like this for me, Sophia. I’m sure of my feelings,” he whispered fervently. You’re the one for me.

She caressed his hand intimately resting on her waist. “This was an unfortunate accident but you know it was caused by jealousy. I can’t stand it anymore, Ethan. You can’t rely on your feelings to guide your behavior toward me. You’re jealous of my daughter. Of my dead husband.”

“You don’t know the effect you have on men, do you, Sophia? That you have on me? You’re an amazing woman.”

Sophia smiled a little. “Always trying to charm me, aren’t you, Ethan? You’re impossible. Let’s finish this in peace, as friends, before anything worse comes out of it.”

He shook his head, a dejected look in his eyes. “I thought we would stay together always; that it was you for me, Sophia. You’re special. Unique.” He sighed. “Won’t you reconsider? Please?”

“No. This is my final decision. I won’t change my mind, Ethan. Nonetheless, I do appreciate your company. We have friends in common. I can’t see why you and I can’t remain friends.”

“I’ll miss you.” He caressed her hair, an air of longing stamped on his face. I’m sorry I hurt you. So sorry. “Perhaps you’re right. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m going back to London now, so you’ll feel more comfortable. You stay. Leonard can give you a ride back or if you want I can send Wilkins to drive you back.” He bent over and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I-” My heart is broken. “Sophia.” His hand caressed her cheek, his fingertips memorizing her perfect features. “I’ll call you. Please, answer when I do. Promise?”

“I promise,” she whispered.

“Oh, Sophia.” Her name was a prayer on his lips. “I love you,” he rasped.

“Please, Ethan. Don’t make things harder.”

“I bought you a gift for Valentine’s day. I’ll leave it on the bed.”

As she opened her mouth to refuse it, he put his fingers on her lips. “Don’t. Please accept it, as a parting gift.”

“Okay,” she answered quietly, her heart breaking at his grief-stricken look.

He opened his mouth to say something else but a knock on the door stopped him.

“Excuse me,” John entered the room with Alistair and a bald, short man carrying a black bag. “Dr. Longman has arrived.”

Ethan’s hands framed her face, a thumb caressed her mouth. “Are you sure…” he whispered. Angst laced his voice.

“I’m sorry, but yes, I’m sure, Ethan,” she murmured and stared deeply into his beautiful eyes. What have I done? He’s suffering, hurting because of my mistake. I should have never allowed things to get this far. “Have a safe trip, my dear.”

Chapter 11

11.45 p.m.

Sophia woke herself with her own screams.

Every time she had that nightmare, she woke up screaming. Since waking in that hospital, she had been having them at least once a week.

Not being able to remember something she needed to remember left her feeling anxious and anguished for the rest of the night. Heavy prescription drugs had alleviated it before. Although those drugs could help, Sophia had sworn never to touch them again.

She sat up on the bed with her head in her hands, a painful throbbing in her temples. Will I ever remember? Oh, God. I want this to end.

She heard a knock on the door.

Damn. My screams must have woken someone.

She put on a wrap and opened the door a crack. Alistair, Alice, and Leonard were outside her door.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

“Are you okay, Sophia?” Alice asked in a worried voice. “Alistair heard you screaming and called me.”

Alistair studied Sophia’s face. The stitches marred her forehead just above her eyebrow and a big black-and-blue bruise stained from above the cut to her cheek. Her face was ashen and her lips had no color. Her dark brown eyes were wide and haunted.

“I’m sorry I disturbed you. I’m fine, thank you. It was just a nightmare.” She tried to smile but ended up grimacing.

“A drink will do you good,” Alistair said, his voice firm. “I’ll accompany you.” A command.

Just the sound of his deep voice made her giddy. And she wouldn’t fall asleep for hours. “Sounds good. I’ll meet you in a moment.” He didn’t ask, you idiot. The right answer would have been “Yes, sire.”

When she opened the door again, only a small lamp lit the corridor. He waited for her outside, reclining against the doorjamb, his face in shadows. Even at this time of the night, he looked as if he had stepped off the cover of a magazine. A dark-green V-neck cashmere sweater clad his perfect chest and he wore his black jeans low on his hips.

She had quickly changed into a long-sleeved T-shirt and a gray cashmere cardigan, jeans and black boots.

“Shall we?”

“Again, I’m sorry I disturbed you,” she said in a voice above a whisper.

“I was awake. My room is the one next to yours. That’s why I heard you.”

He fell in step beside her, and they descended the stairs in silence, entering the library.

“What will you have?”

“Whisky. Neat.”

He looked at her sideways, smiling, but said nothing. He served them both and put some ice cubes in his glass. “Here you are. Scotch Whisky. Like we drink in Scotland. Single.” He sat beside her on the sofa, stretching his long legs in front of him and crossing his feet at his ankles.

The silence was comfortable. She was aware of Alistair glancing at her while she drank, but she said nothing, waiting for him to start a conversation. The whisky burned her throat filling her with warmth.

“Want to talk about your nightmare?”

She shook her head, tightening her lips for a moment to stop the words that were threatening to escape.