The blonde woman was silent for a bit, then she looked up as the Lexus was brought around. “Um, to be honest, Dar, I don’t know if I want to be by myself right now,” she admitted. “No one’s going to be around my complex, and…” She let her eyes rest on Dar’s face. “And I think I need a shoulder to lean on.”

A smile crossed the taller woman’s face. “I know a little island you might be interested in,” she commented quietly. “I think I even have some turkey roll.” Kerry nodded. “I’d love that.” She knew the reaction to everything would hit soon, and the peace of Dar’s condo was very enticing. She certainly didn’t want to face Colleen or her other friends with explanations yet. They got in the 444 Melissa Good car and Dar pulled out cautiously.

DAR WENT IN first, holding the door open for Kerry to follow, then shutting it behind them as the cool peace of the apartment surrounded them both. “Well.” Dar tossed her bag down on the couch, then took Kerry’s from her and held it for a moment.

Kerry walked over to the sliding glass doors and peered out, pressing her fingertips against the glass and absorbing the huge expanse of green stretching to the horizon. “It’s so pretty out there,” she commented softly.

Dar studied her, then chewed her lip a bit. “Um.” It was horrible timing, but… “Kerry?” she called, tentatively.

The blonde woman half turned, peering at her. “Yeah?” She peered at her lover, surprised by a sudden, perceptible awkwardness that was painfully evident to her. “What’s up?”

“Um, you know, you spend a lot of time here and I…” Dar focused her eyesight on the tile. “I mean, I hope you spend a lot more time here, but it’s…

I mean it’s kind of senseless to be carrying things back and forth all the time, so I thought…” She found herself uncharacteristically fumbling for words. “I thought maybe you’d… Well, I have all those spare rooms upstairs, and I thought maybe you’d like to sort of keep some…stuff…um, here.”

Hands covered hers where they rested on the bag, and she looked up in startlement to see Kerry gazing at her from a very short distance. She took the duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder, then took Dar’s hands in her own.

“That’s incredibly sweet and generous of you, Dar. I know how much you value your private space.”

Dar searched her face for a minute. “Does that mean yes or no?” She managed a half smile.

“I…um, I… Yes,” Kerry finally got out. “I’d really like that. Thank you.”

“Good.” The taller woman exhaled in relief. “You can, um, pick out whichever one you like, though I kinda thought you might like the one on the end.” She rubbed her neck. “I’m going to get some coffee going; I think we both could use it.” She rubbed her neck and pretended an offhandedness she simply didn’t feel.

Kerry nodded. “Good idea, I’ll just go…um…” She patted the bag. “Put stuff away.” She smiled at Dar. “Be right back. “

Dar watched her disappear up the stairs and allowed her face to crease into a relaxed, delighted grin as she turned and made her way back into the kitchen. It wasn’t like… Okay, so it was a tiny step towards Kerry moving in with her, but she knew they both weren’t ready for that. This seemed a good first move, though, and it was practical. It would let her test out the idea of actually living with someone, which she certainly wasn’t used to.

She knew she loved Kerry, there wasn’t any doubt about that, but Dar was also a realist, and she knew herself pretty well. She’d been living alone for many years, and adjusting to a roommate, no matter how beloved, would be a trial. Wouldn’t it?

Dar nibbled on a bit of dried apricot she’d taken from the refrigerator and put on a pot of coffee, using the newly delivered flavored blend she’d gotten Tropical Storm 445

before she left. Hazelnut; she sniffed approvingly before peeking in the refrigerator again, and was relieved at seeing a somewhat meager but adequate variety of groceries. “Ooo.” She leaned forward and examined a neatly packaged bunch of ripe green grapes, then checked the crisper for the small baby finger carrots she’d asked for, knowing Kerry loved to nibble on them.

“Wonder if she’d like those dipped in chocolate?” Dar mused absently, selecting one and examining it. “No, that probably defeats the purpose, right?” She bit the end off the carrot and chewed it. “Hmm.” She rolled the sweet pulp around in her mouth and swallowed it. “That’s not too bad,” she admitted, “for a vegetable.”

She checked the rest of the groceries, then wandered into the living room, considering. “Have to have that second ISDN line dropped in up there, that second room could be another office.” Dar chewed another piece of apricot thoughtfully. “This could work.”

KERRY GOT TO the top of the stairs and stopped; she leaned against the wall and just closed her eyes. It was just all happening too fast, she realized, her mind was still whirling with the situation regarding her family, and now this.

“Okay.” She shook the hair out of her eyes and tried to settle herself. “It was just a really, really nice thing for Dar to do, probably because she knows how weirded out I am right now.” She found a smile twitching her lips up anyway, and she moved slowly from room to room, peering into each one until she reached the last one.

She nudged the door open and peeked inside, remembering the wide, open space and beautiful view. Yep. Kerry walked all the way inside, feeling the carpet thick and comfortable under her feet, and looked around. The room was a pale shade of greenish-blue, with pale wood furniture in it. There was a tall dresser with six drawers tucked into one corner, and a long set of drawers across the length of the room, with a neatly framed mirror in the center. A door in the corner led to a walk-in closet larger than her kitchen, and on the other wall was a door which led into an eggshell-and-cobalt bathroom, complete with a corner stall shower and a large whirlpool-equipped bathtub raised up for easy entrance. “So.” Kerry leaned against the wall and gazed at the room. “You think I’d like this one, huh, Dar?” She walked over to the tall dresser, and pulled a drawer out. “You’re right, I do.”

She unpacked her bag and put everything away, then went to the window and let the ocean’s mellow movement calm her. A nutty scent distracted her, however, and she turned and made her way to the door, running her fingers through her hair to order it a little, and almost collided with Dar. “Whoa.”

The taller woman held out a cup. “Here,” she offered. “Everything okay in here for you?”

Kerry took a sip of the fragrant beverage and swallowed it. “Mmm.” She glanced behind her. “Of course it is, and you know it.” She exhaled. “Thanks.”

She looked up and noticed Dar’s bloodshot eyes and weary expression.


446 Melissa Good

“C’mon.” She tucked a hand into the crook of her lover’s elbow. “I need to go sit down.” They walked downstairs, and Kerry settled in the corner of the couch, sipping her coffee and letting her head rest against the soft leather while Dar hunted out the remote and flipped on the large-screen TV.

“How are you doing?” the taller woman asked as she seated herself next to Kerry on the couch, putting her coffee down and clasping a hand over the blonde woman’s knee.

Kerry stifled a yawn. “Oh, I’m all right, I guess,” she answered softly. “I just keep trying not to think about it.” Her father’s angry, disgusted voice echoed loudly in her ears. “You know, I…I’m not sure what I expected,” she mused. “Anger, yeah, I thought he’d yell, and scream, but…” A pause. “I didn’t expect that.”

“How could you have?” Dar asked reasonably.

“Oh, I don’t know, Dar. Surely I should have seen that coming,” Kerry responded bitterly. “It was pretty naïve of me to think we’d just be able to talk this out, huh? That he’d listen to reason, or…” Her shoulders slumped. “Or that I’d matter to him as a person instead of window dressing,” she finished in a low voice.

“You couldn’t have predicted that,” her lover insisted. “Hell, I didn’t predict that, and I always expect the worst from people, not the best, like you do.” Kerry sighed. “I don’t know, maybe you’ve got the right idea.”

Dar tipped her chin up a bit. “Don’t let them take that away from you, my friend. I’d rather you think the best of people, not the worst. After all, where would I be if you did?”

The blonde woman rested her head against her hand. “In Washington, enjoying your holiday,” she muttered. “Instead of here, tired, hurting, and having to listen to my hard luck story.”

“Kerry.” Dar put a sympathetic hand on her back. “I wouldn’t trade where I am right now for anything.” Hooded green eyes peeked up at her.

“Honestly,” Dar commented softly, “I know it’s hard for you, and I’m sorry you had to go through this, but I don’t regret one single second of the past twenty-four hours, for my part of it.”

A tiny smile. “You’re a good friend, Dar.” Kerry reached out and took her hand, bringing it up and pressing it against her lips. “You’re the best friend anyone could ever hope for.” She felt the tears starting to well up, and she closed her eyes, fighting it. “And they can’t understand why I love you.” A sob escaped her. “Oh god.”

Dar pulled her close. “Easy, easy. I got you.”

“After everything he’s done,” Kerry whispered, “everything he’s taken from me, I couldn’t let him take you too.” She felt her composure shatter, and a wall of emotion swamped her senses. “I need you so much.”

Dar swallowed, feeling Kerry come apart, her words dissolving into hiccupping sobs that wrenched her body with little shudders. She took a deep breath and just hung on, murmuring reassurances and rocking Kerry in whatever comfort she could muster.