Nicole Edwards - Travis

Her honesty humbled him. She sounded sad, yet stoic. “I’ve thought about you every day since then,” he told her, glancing out the front window so that he didn’t have to look into her eyes as he said the words. She had a way of slaying him with just a look.

No one who knew him would ever say that he was much of a talker. In fact, Travis was pretty sure he’d said more today than he had in the entire past week. Kylie brought that out in him. He remembered the times they spent together when they were both much younger and although he didn’t share much about himself personally, he found it easy to talk to her about certain things. It just felt right.

Back when he first met Kylie, he spent hours talking to her. They talked about where she grew up, her parents, his parents, her sister. They talked about so many things, yet he somehow managed to make sure she never got too close. He’d been young, stupid and downright scared shitless about the military. Not that he would admit the last part to anyone. And when he found himself in the arms of the sweetest, most beautiful woman in the entire world, he allowed himself to think it could be forever. That she might just be the one woman who could change him. At the very least, the one woman who could accept him.

Except, he never gave her the chance.

So, instead of letting Kylie into his life, he managed to keep her out. Entirely. Looking at her now, Travis couldn’t help but wonder why. Ever since Gage brought her to Kaleb’s house, he’d been wondering the same thing.

Just the sight of her stirred up old feelings that he would prefer to keep inside the closed book that contained all of the stories of his past. The problem was, there were so many feelings coursing through him, Travis didn’t know which way was up. His ideas on how a relationship – his relationships – would work weren’t the same as others.

As much as he wanted to think a relationship with Kylie could be normal, Travis knew that wasn’t the case.

Wanting her had never been the issue.

Keeping her was.

♀♂

Kylie’s head was spinning. Between the sexy, seductive scent of him washing over her, along with the explanation she had waited to hear for so long, and then the kiss…

Kylie suddenly – and inexplicably – wanted to jump his bones.

There was a myriad of emotions churning in her – sadness, hope, frustration. Desire. Yes, definitely lots and lots of the last one. They all swirled together confusing her about what she was doing here. How she got here. And it had nothing to do with the drive from Killeen.

Just that morning, she woke up with the sole purpose of seeing Travis so she could understand what made him walk out on her all those years ago. The bottom of her life had been ripped out from beneath her feet just three weeks into what was supposed to be a marriage to the man she’d given her heart and soul to. And now she was here, reliving it all over again.

Although life altering, his explanation was not what she thought it would be. She had expected him to admit that he was gay and to tell her that he was in love with Gage – though she didn’t think that would’ve been the case back then.

That didn’t happen.

No, this was Travis Walker. He had to be much more complicated than that.

Without a doubt, she knew she should be coming to terms with the end of their decade long ghost of a relationship. Travis was offering her explanations, but for some reason, hope was swelling in her chest, making her want things she knew she shouldn’t want. The kiss didn’t help because… well, because it rocked her world even if she had to pretend otherwise.

If it weren’t for all of the things she had recently learned about Travis, thanks to the many articles she’d read on the internet, Kylie would swear he was the same man she met so long ago. Handsome, surly, and vulnerable beneath all of the rugged exterior. And to top it off, from what she could tell, Travis was just as confused now as he was then.

Only now he wanted to talk.

And she was hanging on every word, trying to wrap her mind around what he was saying. His reasoning was not at all what she expected. Granted, Travis was still just as cryptic as always. Despite the additional pieces she was trying to work into the scrambled puzzle of the worst time of her life, Kylie still had a hard time rationalizing what he was saying.

Saddened by her wayward thoughts, she stared out the window, watching as the sky darkened even more, the dark water in front of her crashed against the bank as the wind picked up, a storm threatening. The tension inside of the truck seemed to be churning in much the same way.

She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but at least she knew one thing for sure... It didn’t matter how much time had separated the two of them, Kylie still wanted Travis with a passion she couldn’t deny.

The foregone look of regret on Travis’ face had Kylie holding her breath and wishing that there might be a chance for something good to come out of this. Although she couldn’t quite wrap her head around what he was telling her, it was more than she’d ever seen from him, even when they spent the better part of a year getting to know one another.

Or rather he spent that year getting to know her. Little did Kylie know at the time, but Travis hadn’t shared any part of himself with her. He’d purposely left out so many personal things and seeing how he was acting now, he’d held back emotionally as well.

She was confused and more than a little angry. Which emotion was more prevalent, she wasn’t sure either. Hearing that he was bisexual and that she wasn’t the reason he walked away had lifted a weight the size of Texas right off of her chest. But his revelation didn’t make it any easier to understand what that would’ve meant for them. She couldn’t shake the thought that had he talked to her, they might’ve had a chance.

No matter what came out of this conversation, Kylie was relieved that Travis had finally given her what she felt she deserved all those years ago. An explanation would’ve made it easier. Maybe. Ok, probably not, but she had to believe that it would have helped to justify his reason for walking away.

Hearing the words – ménage, polyamory – she knew what they meant. She wasn’t as naïve as people liked to believe. She read books. Some very interesting books, and like many women, those things did funny things to her insides, even if she wouldn’t be the first to admit it.

She had to give him some benefit of the doubt, although it pained her to do so. At eighteen, she hadn’t been emotionally equipped to make the life altering decision to marry him in the first place, but he somehow trusted her enough to let her. Still he hadn’t trusted her enough to share his true self with her.

Would she have freaked out? Probably.

Would she have been prepared to share him? No, not at the time.

If things were different, would she be prepared to share him now? She couldn’t answer that question. She had never found herself in a position to make a choice like that. And when all was said and done, Kylie didn’t know enough about him to be able to say one way or another. Hell, she didn’t know enough about him to decide whether she’d want to be with him if he weren’t bisexual.

She did know herself though and Kylie wasn’t the same girl she was back then. Where Travis had stayed the same for all these years, still looking for something he thought was out of his reach, Kylie had changed in ways Travis would never understand. Broken hearts to the extent she’d experienced tended to make people do strange things. Kylie’s shattered heart had qualified.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them staring out into the bleakness that consumed the choppy waters. From the looks of it, the sky was going to break open at any moment. It seemed somewhat fitting, considering her heart felt the same way.

When the urge to get closer to him overcame her, Kylie opted to go with it this time, rather than ignore it. At this point, she was risking everything, and for some reason, just as it had been ten years before, she was drawn to him.

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Kylie turned to face Travis as he stared out into the ever darkening sky, purposely not looking at her. He must’ve noticed her moving because he glanced her way, but didn’t turn his head, which she took as a good sign. He was aware of her the same way she was aware of him.

Without asking permission and without explaining anything, Kylie kept moving, unable to stop herself until she was straddling Travis’ lap, the steering wheel jarring into her back. There wasn’t enough room, but suddenly she was adamant that she make this work.

“What are you doing, baby?” His words were a raspy, a soothing balm to her overexcited nerve endings. He called her baby. She’d always loved when he called her that.

“I’m getting closer.”

He didn’t ask why, and he didn’t argue, which Kylie was grateful for. If he were to push too hard, she’d lose her nerve, and right then and there, she just wanted to put her mouth to his and get lost in his kiss.

She was somewhat disappointed when he didn’t make the first move, but she held out, keeping her eyes locked on his.

“I’m willing, Kylie. Don’t doubt that,” he whispered. “But you’re gonna have to take what you want, baby.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice.

With trembling fingers, she removed his hat, setting it on the dash behind her to keep from crushing it. Kylie slid her hands along the chiseled edge of his jaw, letting the dark stubble scratch her palm as she eased her hands behind his head, twining her fingers in the cool, silky strands of his hair. Pulling him forward, she met him halfway until their mouths met, joined. The kiss was heart wrenchingly sweet and explosive all at the same time and Kylie found herself drowning in the remembered taste of him.