Nicole Edwards - Travis

“I’m not sure they’ll want to leave,” Kylie mumbled beneath her breath and Travis pretended not to hear her.

Kylie didn’t say anything more, but she seemed to be interested in the details, her head swiveling back and forth as she continued to take it all in. Travis could only imagine what she was thinking. In recent months, there had been a number of articles written on the resort and Travis had decided to be candid with the details. Needless to say, they had attracted the attention they were hoping for.

Travis stood still, holding Kylie’s smooth, delicate hand in his, their fingers linked together as though she were as comfortable touching him as he was her. While she was distracted by the various designs within, his eyes raked over her soft curves, the generous swell of her breasts, the slender column of her neck. She was still just as reserved as he remembered, but as always, she had a backbone made of steel, and it was clear she wasn’t letting her guard down for a minute.

Again, he didn’t blame her.

“Are you hungry?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Her head jerked toward him as though she’d forgotten he was there with her. He wondered if she were playing out her own fantasies in her head.

“No, not really.” Long locks of caramel silk swayed around her face as she shook her head in answer to his question.

When their eyes met, Travis was suddenly transported back in time to the day he met her. To this day, he had never met a woman who captivated him the way Kylie had from the moment he laid eyes on her. They’d both been young when they first met, her much more so than he, but there was something about her that spoke to him back then, much as it did now.

The way she had been walking down by the lake, her feet bare and her long hair pulled back with the sun shining down on her sun kissed skin... He’d thought she was an angel. In her cutoff jeans and sleeveless white blouse, there’d been something significantly innocent about her. Until she smiled at him. The way her blue eyes twinkled as she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth rocked him to his core.

Just like now.

From that day forward, Travis had spent as much time with her as he possibly could. It was an instant friendship, but the lust that lingered bloomed like a wildfire and Travis never was able to resist his desire for her. Unfortunately, he’d gotten in way over his head long before he accepted the fact that he was different.

Even at twenty-four Travis had known he needed more, but when he met Kylie, he tried to convince himself that he was wrong. No matter how many times he told himself that she was more than enough for him, he never could get over the intense fascination he had with…

Travis shook off the thought, frowning as he stared at the walls of his resort. He realized he was in the same situation now. Between Kylie and Gage, he was battling his own needs as well as worrying about what his depravity would do to two people like them.

Ok, so food wasn’t a good idea. The images flashing through his mind were making his heart race and his blood steam in his veins, and he was pretty sure he couldn’t have eaten even if he had to.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Travis was nervous. About many things. One being the fact that Kylie was suddenly back in his life, standing beside him and they were evidently going to talk about a few things they’d never discussed. The main one being why he walked out of her life.

Trying to hide his sudden uneasiness, Travis gripped Kylie’s hand more firmly. “What do you say we get out of here?”

When she nodded her agreement, he helped her back to the truck, making sure he was right beside her to catch her if she stumbled. When they made it to the truck, he helped her in before shutting the passenger door and taking a long, deep breath.

Finding a place where no one would interrupt them was going to take a little creative thinking, especially in a town where everyone knew who he was, but at least it gave him something to focus on.

By the time he rounded the truck, he’d come up with an idea. He knew of only one place that would provide the seclusion necessary for them to talk and hopefully hash out a decade worth of questions that he was sure this woman had.

The lake was his only option.

♂♀

Once they were back in the heart of town, Travis took the path off of the main road, heading down to the hidden spot that he and his brothers and their friends had claimed as their own when they were mere teenagers. These days he knew no one frequented the spot, so he wasn’t expecting to run into anyone. Since it looked like rain, he figured it only improved his chances of total seclusion, and as he pulled down the dirt path that would take them almost to the water’s edge, he wasn’t disappointed.

Thanks to the sinister gray clouds looming overhead, Travis chose not to get out, although he’d much prefer to sit on the tailgate and listen to the water as it churned against the bank within the small cove hidden by an overhang of trees.

Once he was parked, he killed the engine, and the two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. It was odd that they could manage not to say anything, even though there were numerous questions lingering in the air between them. So many Travis was sure he’d never be able to answer them all.

 When he started feeling a little restless, unsure exactly what he wanted to say to Kylie, he flipped on the radio, trying to fill some of the silence. As he watched the turbulent, dark water, he let his mind drift off to the last time he saw her, ten years ago.

The one day of his life he regretted more than any other.

“I’m sorry, Kylie. I wish it could be different. I just…” Travis didn’t know how to continue, found it difficult to come up with the words to express the gut wrenching agony he was in. But it had been his decision, so the least he could do was explain why he was leaving.

“What do you mean you’re sorry? What the hell does that even mean?”

Travis wasn’t sure how to answer her question. Either of them. Staring down at Kylie, with her honey gold hair and baby blue eyes and perfect, angelic features, he felt like a complete and total asshole.

Which he was.

He really was.

Sorry wasn’t a strong enough word for what he felt, but he couldn’t think of any other way to express himself. This was the hardest thing he ever had to do, and honestly, how do you let down a woman easily? Especially one that you up and married less than three weeks ago.

It wasn’t easy, that was for damn sure.

“Look,” he began, but the tears he saw welling in her beautiful blue eyes made the knot in his chest tighten. Moving closer, he pulled her up against him, pressing his lips against the top of her head. She was so damn small, yet she fit in his arms perfectly.

And wasn’t that the damn problem?

It was like she was made specifically for him, yet there were things about him that he knew she would never understand. Hell, he didn’t even understand them. He hated what he’d done, hated even more that he was going to shatter her heart in the process, but Travis had no idea what he was supposed to do except walk away and pray like hell she could move on with her life before he had the chance to ruin it.

“Don’t cry,” he pleaded, her sobs making her whole body shake, even wrapped securely in his arms.

“I don’t understand. Why’d you marry me if you didn’t want to be with me?” Kylie whispered.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” he explained, knowing he wasn’t making any sense. And that was the truth, he did want to be with her, but he also wanted to be with someone else. There was still a pull that Travis hadn’t been able to let go of.

“There are things about me that you don’t understand, baby. I’m not the man you think I am.”

“What?” she asked, jerking away from him as confusion obscured her features. “Are you a serial killer? Or... or...” Stopping the tears by pressing the heel of her hands against her eyes, Kylie continued after a resigned sigh, “Travis, I don’t understand.”

“You will one day, I promise.”

He prayed she would understand.

He prayed that this was the right decision, and he wouldn’t live the rest of his life regretting walking away from her. He loved her, he wouldn’t deny that. He’d spent every minute of free time he had with her for the last year and honestly, he thought marrying her was the logical thing to do. It sure felt like it at the time because no matter what he tried to tell himself, Travis loved her.

Looking down at the floor, his heart slowly cracked inside his chest as he prepared to do the unthinkable. He was walking away from her for the last time because he couldn’t get over the fact that he was lusting after someone other than her. It didn’t matter that the other person was a man, or that he wasn’t the least bit interested in what Travis was looking for either, or that nothing had happened between the two of them.

But it was best for Kylie if he walked away now, he knew it was. She didn’t deserve to be tied to him, not like this. He was so damned confused about what he wanted, and Kylie Prescott deserved something better than what he could give her.

She wasn’t the type of woman who could handle the desires he was plagued with. She wasn’t the type of woman who would understand that he needed everything she had to give him plus some. Things she wasn’t even capable of giving him. Things she wasn’t even capable of understanding.