“There's more on the shelves in the girls' room.”
“They've disappeared.” Now was not a good time to tell him where.
“Well, then come over here. There's enough room for two in this bed tonight. Tomorrow you can buy a few new quilts. I think my account can stand the blow easier than I can do without sleep.”
Karlee opened her mouth to protest, but her legs were freezing and she knew she'd never get comfortable.
“All right.” She stood, telling herself it was the only practical solution. “I've spent my life sharing a bed. Once, with a cousin's family in Indiana, we had to sleep six to one bed. It wasn't so bad. At least I was warm that winter, as long as everyone remembered to use the chamber pot.”
“Goodnight,” Daniel mumbled, as if her story was keeping him awake.
As she slipped in beside him, Daniel jerked when her cold feet touched his leg. “I know the couch is short, but did you have to stick your feet out the window?”
Karlee giggled. “Stop complaining, or I'll fish kiss you.” She touched her toes to his leg once more to test his patience.
He didn't jerk again. A sudden intake of air was his only reaction. As he had before, he pulled her against his side. “You'll be warm in a minute.”
But when she'd lain next to him several nights ago, she'd been fully clothed with undergarments beneath her dress. Now there was only a worn cotton nightgown and his nightshirt between them. She tried desperately to hold herself a fraction away, close enough to feel the heat from his body, but far enough away so she wasn't touching him.
He didn't seem to notice. “When you go to the mercantile in the morning?”
Karlee relaxed a little. His mind must be on other things. “Yes? Do you need something besides blankets?”
“Definitely,” he answered formally. “Buy yourself a few nightgowns that reach the floor. If not, you'll have pneumonia and I'll probably get frostbite.”
“And should I send this one back to Aunt Rosy?”
“Great idea.” Daniel chuckled. “Tell the old dear that you've given up wearing them. That should shock her mouth closed.”
Karlee laughed. “And me, a minister's wife.”
“You're shameless, Mrs. McLain.” Daniel tried to hold in the laughter.
Karlee lay her icy fingers on his chest.
“And freezing.” He covered her hand with his own. “I feel the cold through my shirt.”
He raised her hand close to his lips and blew on her fingers.
Karlee's hands might be cold, but she felt the warmth of his breath throughout her body. She fought the urge to pull away. He was being kind, but the feelings he stirred in her were far more than kindness.
He kissed her open palm lightly. “There. Better?”
“Better.” She pulled her hand free.
“Good. Now go to sleep.” He straightened away from her.
“Daniel?” she whispered after several minutes of lying wide awake beside him.
“Yes?” He sounded sleepy.
“I need to know how it is between us.” Since their marriage, they'd had so little time alone. “I don't know the rules.”
“Neither do I,” he answered with a sigh. “I guess we didn't have much time to think about what we wanted out of this marriage. Only that we wanted the twins safe.”
Karlee rolled onto her stomach and propped her head on her elbows. “When I was a kid, moving from house to house, I always tried to figure out the rules as quickly as possible. Then I could stay out of trouble.”
“I find that hard to believe,” he mumbled.
“That each house had different rules?”
“No, that you stayed out of trouble.” He leaned to his side and rested his hand on the small of her back as naturally as though he'd done it a thousand times. “All right. What are the rules we live this marriage by?”
“We need to be honest with one another.” Karlee thought she'd start with one she knew they'd both agree on. “I always hated families where folks kept secrets.”
“That sounds like a good rule.” He didn't seem as interested in her bedtime game as she was.
“I'll be your wife. Take care of the children, try to run the house. That's my main job.”
“Fair enough,” he answered. “I'll try to provide for you and keep you safe.”
“What else?” she asked.
“If I had a church, I'd probably expect you to go to service with me.”
“That's fair. A minister's wife should go to church. What else?”
“That's about it.” Daniel sounded half asleep. “ Anything else you'd add?”
She hesitated, then seemed to jump in. “I know you want no intimacy, no children, but could I sleep in your bed when the nights are cold?”
“Karlee, men and women don't sleep together who aren't intimate. As soon as the company leaves, I think it would be better if we sleep apart.”
“But we've already slept next to one another. We are now. There are only two bedrooms in the house, and I'm willing to share.”
“Karlee, I'm a preacher, not some kind of saint.” He let out a long-held breath. “What if I touch you while we sleep?”
“What if you do?”
“I mean in places…”
“I know what you mean,” she snapped. He was making her feel like a child who knew nothing. Even if he was right, she wouldn't admit it. “You're my husband. I guess if you touched me it would be all right.”
He moved his hand low, over her hip. “You'd settle for this? Touching you with no love between us?” He took his hand away quickly as though his action had disgusted him.
She thought about how, all her life, she'd wished someone would touch her. She'd watched mothers hug their children at night and pass by her bed without stopping. She'd visited churches where everyone seemed to embrace each other, but they all stayed away from her… the outsider.
“I'd settle.” She thought even without love it was so much more than she'd ever had. “If we're going to spend the rest of our lives together in the same house, we don't need to be jumping every time we brush.”
“You don't understand.” Daniel rubbed his forehead as if she'd given him a headache. “Men and women don't just go around touching one another.”
“Do you have a headache?” She reached to brush his temples.
Daniel seemed to turn to stone as her breasts moved atop his chest.
Karlee glanced down feeling her cheeks warm as she realized what she'd done. “Sorry,” she whispered. “I know that bothers you.” Now was the time to start being honest. “I swear I'm not doing it on purpose.” She leaned away from him. “I've never talked to anyone about it, but I've always been too big. Violet used to say I should strap in tight or I'd look like a nursing cow.”
Karlee knew she shouldn't be talking about such things with a man, but her mouth seemed to have sprung a leak. “I don't mean to brush you, I swear I…”
She forgot what she was about to say as his hand trailed along her arm and then covered her breast.
Only the thin cotton blocked the warmth of his fingers. He felt her fullness carefully. His palm flattened over her peak as his fingers encompassed her, molding her within his gentle grip.
Karlee didn't breathe as he felt her fullness completely.
“You're not too big,” he said moving his hand to the other breast to continue his examination. “You're a tall woman and well-rounded in the right places. I think you're about the right size for your body. But then I'm no expert on such things.”
“Thank you,” she managed to say as he removed his hand. If he was trying to shock her by proving his point about touching, he certainly had.
“Now go to sleep, Karlee.” He rolled away from her, his voice low and angry.
“All right,” she whispered. “I'm not cold anymore.” He didn't answer.
Daniel lay awake most of the night, knowing that she was doing the same. About dawn, when her breathing finally grew slow and he knew she was asleep, he decided he must be possessed.
Why else would he have reached over and touched her, almost a stranger, a woman he didn't even like most of the time? He didn't want her in his life or his bed, but here she was, implanted firmly in both for the simple reason to make his life a living hell. Why else would she be constantly around? Why else would he find it so hard to stay angry at her? Why else would she have the most perfect breasts God ever made?
He reminded himself she had red hair, and that she was jumpy as an overflowing nest of newborn squirrels. He should have sent her packing that first day in the same trunk in which she'd arrived. She was trouble, more trouble than the mob in town. At this rate, she'd destroy not only his mind, but his work here in Jefferson.
She could talk all she wanted to about honesty between them, but Daniel had no intention of telling her the full reason he was in town. As soon as he could walk, he'd be out of here. Then she'd only see him now and then and he'd make sure the twins were always around.
He'd be formal and polite, but he'd keep his distance. And he'd keep his hands off her.
But, as for now, he was trapped by his leg in a bed with a woman willing to play by the rules he set. She didn't ask for love, or even expect it, only a little kindness. That bothered him more than he wanted to admit.
SEVENTEEN
DANIEL WOKE TO A ROOM ALREADY WARM WITH morning. Karlee had gone from his side without a word. He lay silent for a long while thinking of what they'd talked about last night and what he'd done.
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