Maya Banks - Theirs to Keep

I love you.

She came awake, gasping as the words echoed through her mind. She’d been thinking them. That she loved this man. Someone who was no more than a stranger to her. Or was he? Was he someone from her past?

“Elle? Elle? Are you all right?”

Cade’s voice broke through the haze of confusion surrounding her. She pushed herself upward, warding off his and Merrick’s hands and instead wrapping her arms protectively around her waist, hugging herself tight.

She climbed onto the rock, seeking the warmth of the stone surface as she huddled, knees drawn to her chest, staring out over the water.

What had the dream meant? Had it even been real? Was it a memory tucked away in the dark recesses of her mind, or was it just a dream and nothing more?

She touched her forehead to her knees and closed her eyes, trying to recapture the images from the dream. If she only knew what he looked like. What his name was.

“Elle, baby, talk to us, please,” Merrick said just beside her. “Tell us what’s going on. Did you have a bad dream? Did you remember something?”

How could she say no, it wasn’t a bad dream. It was a good dream. She’d been happy. Full of joy and love.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t know if it was real.”

“Tell us what it is so we can help you sort it out,” Cade said.

“I wasn’t afraid,” she choked out. “I don’t know if it was a memory or just a random dream.”

“Then why did it upset you so much?” Merrick persisted. “Elle, can you look at us, baby?”

She kept her head down, hot tears sliding down her cheeks. She was a complete head case. Why would such a happy dream cause her so much distress? Shouldn’t she be relieved that someone out there had cared about her? That she’d cared about someone else?

But if she’d been so damn happy, and this man in her dream had cared about her and knew her so intimately, then why had she blocked him out, and why wasn’t he looking for her?

She wiped at her cheeks, not wanting them to see her crying. The muttered curses that echoed so close to her told her she hadn’t been successful.

Strong arms surrounded her, pulling her in close. Merrick tucked her head underneath his chin and rubbed his hand in a small circle over her back.

Disgusted with herself, she muttered, “I ruined the whole day.”

“No you didn’t,” Merrick said quietly. “We still have the day. You slept an hour. Not long at all. We can do whatever you want. If you want to go home, just say the word.”

She shook her head. “I want to stay here with you and Cade. It’s a beautiful day. I don’t want it ruined because I’m a basket case.”

“Shhh,” he admonished. “Just sit here a while until you get your bearings.”

Slowly she raised her head up and gazed over to where Cade stood just beside the rock she and Merrick were sitting on. He was holding a brownie.

Staring at the offering, she teared up all over again. She had the two most wonderful men in the world, and it shouldn’t matter to her who she’d dreamed about.

That was her past. These men were her present. And her future. They were who mattered. Not some faceless, nameless ghost in her past. Someone who could have been the person who’d raped and tried to kill her.

“Don’t cry,” Cade said in a low voice. “You’re going to kill me, sweetheart.”

She took the brownie and sent him a watery smile. “Thank you. I love the brownies.”

“And I love you,” Cade said simply.

Her eyes widened, and she stared agape at his blunt declaration.

Taking advantage of her lapse in speech, he leaned in and kissed her lips.

How it must look to others, her snuggled firmly into Merrick’s embrace while Cade kissed her.

She didn’t care.

All she cared about was those three little words. Words so sweet that they echoed through her mind.

“Do you mean it?” she whispered, pulling away so they were just a breath apart.

He touched her face and then ran his thumb across her swollen bottom lip. “I don’t make a habit of saying shit I don’t mean.”

She kissed him again. This time she was the aggressor, going in to claim his mouth. She tasted the chocolate on his tongue, absorbed the heat of his lips. Deeper and deeper until she was drowning in…desire.

It hit her with speed that surprised her. After so much fear, so much hesitation. So much worry that she’d never be able to be intimate with him and Merrick.

She’d responded to them both emotionally. But physically? She enjoyed their kisses. Soaked up their touch like a parched desert desperate for rain. But she hadn’t felt the razor-sharp edge of desire, the yearning so deep in her body that it was nearly painful and yet so wonderfully good all at the same time.

Her nipples tightened. Her breasts ached. A pulse began between her legs that had her squirming to alleviate the tension.

When Cade drew away, he was breathing hard, and his eyes were glazed with the same passion she was experiencing. And still, there was a heavy layer of tension between them. The thick, pulsing arc of electricity that vibrated through the air.

Merrick’s hand coaxed up her back eliciting a bone-deep shiver. She was hyper aware. It was as if her body had left its latent stage and shed every ounce of fear and reluctance. She recognized, in Cade and Merrick, men she could trust. And did trust. Her mind knew it, but her body had been slower to respond.

“I’d like to go home now,” she said, her voice laced with the hum of arousal they couldn’t possibly miss.

Cade held out his hand. “Come on then. Let’s go home.”

ELLE SLID HER HAND INTO Merrick’s as they walked back toward the SUV while Cade carried the picnic basket and walked on her other side.

Cade popped the back of the SUV and tossed the basket in, just as Elle caught a glimpse of a uniformed police officer walking in their direction.

She froze, her heart speeding up until it was pounding like a jackhammer. Her hands grew clammy, and sweat popped out on her forehead until it was slick, and she got an overwhelming feeling of sickness in her belly.

Merrick looked at her, brows furrowed, and he was about to say something when the police officer called out to them.

“Cade! Merrick! Hey, how are you guys?”

Merrick and Cade both swiveled in the direction of the cop and offered welcoming smiles.

“Hey, Greg, how’s it going?” Cade offered as he extended his hand to shake the other man’s.

Panic scuttled up Elle’s spine until she was literally shaking. Her knees threatened to buckle, and she stood, stock-still, praying to be taken away from the situation.

Merrick shoved forward to shake the cop’s hand but inserted his body between her and Greg so she was hidden from view.

Cold crept over her, leaving her numb and so scared that she couldn’t process the simplest thought. The three men conversed. Exchanged pleasantries. Greg enthusiastically offered his opinion that Merrick was going to kick Lash’s ass. It went on and on until the world spun in a crazy circle around her.

Stupid, interfering bitch. You just had to stick your nose where it didn’t belong. He can’t save you this time. You’re a dead woman. But first I’m going to have you so that the last face you see is mine while I fuck you like the whore you are.

Her stomach heaved, and she locked her jaw so she didn’t fall apart right here in the middle of the parking lot.

She wasn’t going to be able to hold it together for much longer. She yanked her head around, desperately searching for a place she could be sick in private. Everything she’d eaten at lunch had bunched into a tight ball and weighed a ton in her stomach.

Saliva pooled in her mouth, and when she swallowed it back, it made her even more nauseated.

No longer able to maintain any semblance of normalcy, she broke and made a run for the public bathrooms that were about fifty yards away.

She burst inside, uncaring of who was there or if anyone could see her. She yanked open a stall and barely made it to the toilet before she was violently ill.

Her stomach convulsed and heaved. She shuddered over and over, the retching still continuing even when she’d emptied her stomach of its contents.

The door flew open, and Merrick pushed inside the bathroom, his hands immediately going to her hair as he pulled it away from her face.

He didn’t say anything. Thank God. He just stood there, his hand on her back, rubbing a soothing pattern until finally she stopped the horrible gagging and her stomach unknotted.

Her knees buckled, and she would have hit the floor, but Merrick caught her, anchoring her to his side as he helped her from the stall. He guided her toward the sink, where he wet several paper towels and applied them to her face.

Then he handed her a bottle of water and said, “Here. Rinse your mouth out.”

She did as he instructed, numb to everything else. She performed robotically, like she was a programmable thing. Then she folded her arms over the sink and lowered her head to her wrists, resting there as she took in huge gulps of air.

“What the fuck is going on, Elle?”

Cade’s low voice cut through the horrific buzzing in her head.

“Sorry,” she croaked. “Just want to go home. Is he gone?”

She picked her head up long enough to see Merrick and Cade exchange quick glances.

“Baby, Greg is a friend. He doesn’t know a thing about you, and he won’t. You have our word on that. He just wanted to shoot the shit a minute,” Merrick offered.