“No, I’m saying that you should sleep in or feel free to get Ethan to school and I can open up the gym and sit in the office until you get in just in case someone needs something. All you have to do is show me around.”

Jake said nothing.

So I did.

“It can’t be hard. While I’m there, if you don’t have a bookkeeper, I can do your books. I did Henry’s for him. I don’t have a degree or anything but I took some classes early on when I was with Henry so I could handle that for him and have answers at the ready to any questions he might have about his finances.”

Jake remained silent.

Alas, I did not.

“Or I could go to the club in the evenings. I’m not a commanding presence like you but if it’s known that you and I are together, they’d know I can easily report to you if something is awry or causes me concern and it might deter them from doing it. At the very least, you’d know about it and you could deter them. I’m a night owl anyway. I’d have no problem spending time in the club to keep an eye on things.”

Jake continued his silence and when he did, I became concerned.

The reason why I became concerned was that he was definitely a man. A commanding man. He was confident in everything he did, including being a father.

With that, it occurred to me all I was saying might communicate that I questioned his ability to handle his enterprises, his home and his children.

So I rushed on.

“I’m not saying that you can’t—”

He interrupted me with, “Quiet, Slick.”

I shut my mouth.

Jake stared down at me.

He did this for some time. So much of it, I was about to squirm. Instead of squirming, I opened my mouth.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you. That wasn’t my inten—”

His hand came to my jaw, his thumb sliding out over my lips, effectively silencing me. When his thumb had made its pass, his head dropped and he brushed his mouth against mine.

That wasn’t an angry reaction, thank goodness.

When he lifted away, he whispered, “Momma bear lookin’ after my kids. Good woman lookin’ after her man.”

“Pardon?” I whispered back but I knew what he was saying and I liked it a great deal. And I knew he did too from his soft kiss.

Jake didn’t answer my question.

He told me a story.

“Three, four years ago, Junior got laid off. Had trouble findin’ work because the economy was in the tank and there was no work to find. Alyssa was havin’ trouble too. Easy not to get your hair or nails done when disposable income has dried up. Still, she kept her shop open later and opened on days it was normally closed to give clients more opportunities to come in and see her. She didn’t make a big deal about workin’ that hard. She still kept their house. Cooked for them seein’ as Junior was on odd jobs that had odd hours, takin’ whatever work he could get to do his bit. Or he was out for interviews all over the fuckin’ state. She never complained. She never rode his ass. He was outta work for nearly three years and you saw them together, you would think they were flyin’ high. Sun rises in him for her. It sets in him for her too. Every morning. Every night. And she shows him that every day. He loves her for it. He’d take a bullet for her. Say her name with his last breath. ‘Cause she’s a good woman lookin’ after her man.”

When he was done talking, I had tears in my eyes.

I also decided I really, really liked Alyssa.

But he was not quite finished.

“Been married three times. Never had that. Not one of the women who wore my ring gave me that shit. Didn’t tell me I was wonderful. Didn’t offer to pitch in when shit got tight or things went south. Now, things are good, steady, it works, I’ve known you a coupla weeks, and you’re still offering to help out even when I don’t need it.”

“You can’t go to bed at two in the morning and get up at six thirty, Jake. Not regularly. That’s not healthy,” I said softly.

“Been doin’ that shit for years, Josie, it’s my life. I’m used to it. Doesn’t bother me. I find times to get my sleep in,” he replied softly. “What I like a whole fuckuva lot is that you give a shit.”

I curled my arms around his back and told him, “I’m glad you like that, Jake. Very much so. But I still believe you should give me keys to the gym or introduce me around the club or both.”

Before I was done, his body was shaking. When I finished, the bed was shaking. He was also smiling.

“I’m not joking,” I told him.

His deep voice was shaking as well when he replied, “I know you aren’t.”

“So are you going to give me the keys to the gym and show me around the club?”

He was still smiling when he asked, “Are you gonna shut up about it unless I do?”

“That’s unlikely.”

“Then I guess I am,” he said, still smiling.

“That would make me feel better,” I told him.

“That’s my job, to make you feel better,” he stated but it sounded like he was teasing.

I decided to ignore that and declared, “You can pay for my assistance in orgasms.”

That got no smiles.

Oh no.

He burst out laughing. He did this so hard he collapsed on me, his face in my neck and I took most of his weight.

He was very hard. Very solid. Very warm. And very heavy.

“Jake,” I wheezed, squeezing him with my arms.

He lifted up, but did so still laughing quite boisterously.

“I was also not joking about that,” I told him through his laughter, which made him drop his forehead to mine and laugh more boisterously.

I slapped his back lightly. He lifted up his head and his humor quieted but it didn’t go away.

“You do give very good orgasms,” I informed him.

“Heard that, felt it, watched it, babe,” he said through his now-chuckling. “But I’d give you those for free.”

Yes, of course he would.

I amended my negotiation. “Then you can pay me in tacos.”

He held my eyes as he shook his head and his body again started shaking.

I felt my eyes narrow. “Again, I wasn’t being amusing.”

Suddenly, his laughter died and he replaced his hand at my jaw. Just as suddenly it seemed not only was his body on mine but his commanding presence was shrouding me, warm and snug, and last and most importantly with what was to come, safe.

“You know Lydie talked about you.”

I said nothing. My heart had started beating very hard and my arms had convulsed around him without me telling them to do so.

That was still an answer and Jake heard it.

“I know about your dad. I know about what your dad did to your mom. How he did it often. I know you saw it. I know he’d call you down just to watch. I know that’s fucked and I know that fucked with you.”

He paused.

I braced.

He went on, “I know about Andy.”

I closed my eyes and turned my head away. Even braced I was unprepared for this, but when I moved, Jake’s mouth came to my ear.

“And I know about that guy.”

I closed my eyes tighter.

“I’m not tellin’ you this to freak you out. To hurt you. Lydie told me I figure ‘cause she had to let that shit go too. She liked me, she trusted me with that and with that part of you she was givin’ to me and that’s an honor, baby. From her and to have that about you.”

He stopped speaking and stroked my jaw with his thumb.

When I said nothing, he continued.

“I’m tellin’ you this now, when you’re mine, when you’re with me, naked, close, safe, we both know we care about each other and want to build somethin’ so you know I know that was it for you. You’re not a practiced hand at this. You’ve never really had a man and I get why. I fuckin’ do. Down to my gut I do, baby. And we can go there when you’re ready. Right now, all you have to know is, I’ll make you tacos until you can’t stand lookin’ at them anymore, if that’s what you want and I’ll do it just because you want them. The bottom line is, you look out for me, I’ll look out for you. I’ll make you come as often as you want. I’ll make you dinner, take you to dinner, take you to New York to see your friends, fly you to Paris ‘cause you wanna eat snails, I don’t give a fuck. But I won’t do that in return for shit you do for me. That’s what you give me. The only time it’ll go bad is if you don’t feel you get what you need from me and get it just because.”

He stopped speaking.

I remained silent.

“Do you understand that, Josie?” he asked.

I took in a breath through my nostrils, opened my eyes and turned to look at him.

All he said was lovely. Truly lovely.

Wonderful.

But what I asked was, “You know about Andy?”

“Yeah, baby,” he answered gently.

“Do you know what happened after dad found—”

Jake cut me off. “That he put you in the hospital. Yeah.”

I pressed my lips together and rolled them.

“Know Lydie reported her son to CPS and got custody of you when that happened too,” he said.

Gran did tell him about me.

All about me.

I could do nothing but nod.

He kept speaking.

“Know you spent your senior year at St. Michael’s. A good school. Private. Just girls. Safe for you. Close so you could be with Lydie.”

I nodded again.

He continued.

“Know you went to college and met a supreme asshole.”

My heart jumped.

“Can we not talk about that part now?” I asked in a feeble voice.

His thumb swept my jaw again. “Yeah, honey.”

“You’re right. I’ve never been in a relationship. Not, well…since then,” I confirmed.