It also changed the way my legs were able to support me and that was to say, it made them feel shaky mostly because they were trembling in a way that felt too lovely when I was standing on a street in front of a firehouse.

“Save one for me,” he requested, his voice having lowered, and at his tone and the vision of him biting into a cream puff that suddenly filled my head, I forced myself not only to remain standing but also nod.

Then he turned and bellowed, “Eath! You got cream puffs to make!”

Seconds later, Ethan sprinted out of the firehouse. A second after that, Mickey approached me and took the bag from my hand, moved to Ethan’s bags, took one of his and he walked us to my Cayenne.

“Sweet ride, babe,” he stated after he’d stowed the groceries in the back.

“Thanks,” I replied, idiotically feeling pleased he liked it.

Ethan climbed in the front and Mickey walked me to my door, opening it for me and saying before he closed it, “See you Saturday night…and Sunday.”

“Yes, see you then,” I returned.

He gave me another smile and closed the door.

I found my breathing mildly affected as I turned on the car, pulled out of the spot and headed the Cayenne toward home.

“You goin’ to Dad and Mickey’s fights Saturday, Josie?” Ethan asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Awesome,” he decreed. “I usually go but Combat Raptor comes out tomorrow and I’m goin’ over to Josh’s on Saturday, we’re goin’ to the movie then I’m sleepin’ over and I can’t…freaking…wait.”

“Combat Raptor?” I queried.

“Yeah. The…coolest…movie of all time,” he declared.

“And you can make that assessment prior to viewing it?”

“Uh…Josie…it’s Combat Raptor,” he stressed the title to the movie in a way which couldn’t be mistaken. However, I still didn’t understand but I was also not an eight-year-old boy.

“It’s good you have such exciting plans for the weekend,” I told him.

“Yeah. It is. Totally. Josh and me have been waitin’ for this movie for-eh-ver.”

“And now it’s finally here,” I noted.

“Yep,” he agreed.

“Will Amber or Conner be going to your dad’s fight?” I asked.

“Amber, no way. She’s not grounded anymore so she’ll totally be on a date if Noah asks her out or she’ll be doin’ stuff with her friends as well as sulking if he doesn’t. Conner normally always goes but he’s scrapin’ off all his girlfriends so he’ll probably be breaking some chick’s heart Saturday night.”

I looked to Ethan in surprise then back to the road. “Conner’s breaking up with his girlfriends?”

“All but one,” he answered. “Dad laid down the law. Said he’d had his fun and it was time to pick one. I heard Con talkin’ to his bud on the phone. He hasn’t picked one but he already got rid of Shantay. Three more to go then we’ll know who made the cut.”

I heard his words and they weren’t great words as pertains to discussing the hearts of young women but I couldn’t get into that because Ethan said that Jake had “laid down the law.”

“Do you know when your father discussed this with Conner?” I asked quietly.

“No clue. But Shantay bit it over the phone on Sunday.”

And Jake and I had discussed Conner and his girlfriends Saturday night. Which meant Jake had discussed Conner and his girlfriends with Conner very quickly afterward.

I felt something strange, strange and miraculous and beautiful and strong budding inside me. Something I liked in a way I knew I could love. Not even love but adore. Worship.

Need.

“Anyway,” Ethan continued, breaking into my thoughts and, perhaps fortunately, taking my focus off that feeling, “I hope he picks Ellie. She’s not only the prettiest one, she’s the sweetest. She’s all shy and stuff and she never acts like she doesn’t want me around when she’s over like the other ones do. And it’s cool how she’s so pretty and so shy at the same time. No one that pretty should be shy but she is. I like her best.”

Just from his description, I liked her too.

“Well,” I started as I turned off Cross Road to take us toward the cliffs and Lavender House, “I just hope Conner chooses well and is sensitive as he goes about ending things with the others.”

“Conner is totally into his babes. He’ll be cool with them,” Ethan assured me.

That was a relief.

“Good,” I said softly.

“I hope you have a killer after school snack because I’m freaking starved,” Ethan proclaimed and I smiled.

He was frequently starved.

And I had a variety of killer after school snacks.

I also liked having a full refrigerator because I often had company over and people dining at one of my two tables.

In fact, I liked simply having a refrigerator.

And tables.

I further liked knowing that Ethan would be sharing Lavender House with me that afternoon and evening, and the next, like he did with Gran.

And last, I was looking forward to introducing him to crème patisserie.

He was going to love it.

And I was going to love giving it to him.

“Whatever I have is yours,” I told him.

“Awesome,” he replied.

I smiled and turned into the lane that led us to Lavender House thinking he was right.

Giving whatever I had to Ethan was, indeed, awesome.

* * * * *

“No shit? You know Dee-Amond?” Mickey asked in my ear.

I grinned to the window of the light room where I was reclining on the window seat, drinking tea and chatting to Mickey who’d called five minutes after Jake had come to collect Ethan.

Jake had done this in his normal friendly, lovely Jake way, including partaking of a cream puff and after doing so, reacting to his enjoyment of it by catching me in his arms and giving me a tight hug while declaring I was the best cook he knew and not even my Gran had given him better.

I liked this in a way where I wished I could keep him thinking this way by cooking for him every night. After thinking that, I’d instantly buried the distress I felt that I knew I never would.

They’d left with some swiftness due to the fact that Conner was at work and Amber was supposed to be home shortly after “hanging with her buds” after school and Jake wanted to make sure she got home when she was due and also got her schoolwork done.

He was a very good father.

Actually, he was simply a very good everything.

“Yes, I know Amond,” I told Mickey. “I’ve known him for years.”

“Guy’s a genius,” Mickey told me.

I was fond of hip-hop, I felt it was an underappreciated form of expression, and thus I agreed.

“He is, indeed.”

This was met with silence then I received a soft, “Dig the way you talk, darlin’.”

How lovely.

“I’m glad,” I replied just as softly.

We’d been talking for nearly an hour. The conversation was interesting and easy. It was also entirely led by Mickey who made it this way.

And this made me look forward to our dinner Sunday night even more.

During our conversation, he’d learned a good deal about me, not just that I knew Amond.

I had learned he was divorced and had two children who he shared custody with his ex-wife. He was a volunteer firefighter, his day job was construction and roofing and he’d been boxing on and off since he was twenty, which meant he’d been doing it some time since now he was forty-seven.

Taller than me. Very good-looking. Older than me. And easy to talk to.

Definitely lovely.

“Sucks ‘cause it was cool talkin’ with you,” he started. “But I gotta be at the gym early and then I gotta be on the job so I gotta get goin’.”

This did “suck.”

Even so, I said, “All right, Mickey.”

“See you ringside Saturday.”

Oh dear.

Ringside?

That was close. I didn’t know if I wanted to be that close to a fight.

I didn’t share this with Mickey.

I said, “Yes. See you Saturday.”

“Lookin’ forward to it.”

“Me as well.”

There was humor in his tone when he said, “Later, babe.”

“Later, Mickey.”

I rang off, tossed my phone to the seat, took a sip of tea and stared at the inky night lit with bright moonlight on the sea and twinkling stars in the sky.

I did this thinking that I’d made the right decision to take a break and spend time in Magdalene, being where I felt safest, at Lavender House, getting to know Jake and his family, now meeting Mickey. I didn’t remember when I’d last stayed in one place as long as this without being constantly busy with work and dinners and parties and phone calls and emails and keeping schedules and making arrangements and running errands.

And I sat there hoping that Henry would agree to let me run his life from the computer that was now connected to the internet that was but feet away from me at Gran’s desk.

But I worried he wouldn’t. Although quite a bit of what I had to do was over the phone and on the computer, there was much of it that required me to be at Henry’s side.

I just found that for the first time since I started with Henry, I had little desire to be the very many theres that was working for Henry.

I’d had a beautiful life, seen many amazing things, been many wonderful places, met many vibrant and interesting people.

And I didn’t want that to end, not forever.

That said, this felt good, sipping tea and chatting on the phone with a handsome man who wanted to take me to dinner. Knowing the next day meant more time with Ethan and also more time with Jake. Knowing my life was full and I was busy but there was a steadiness to it that I’d never had but enjoyed greatly.