“He’s got his hand in the candy bowl and he’s keepin’ it there, he’s gotta deal with the pain when someone bitchslaps him to pull it out.”

“A difficult lesson to learn,” she murmured.

“Conner’s like his dad. He learns by doin’ or, in some cases, by fuckin’ up and tryin’ to be smart enough not to fuck up the same way again.”

He knew he had her eyes again when she protested, “But people are involved, in this case girls and their hearts, and they might get hurt.”

He looked her way to see she was looking at him and he gave her a shake of his head before looking back to the road. “That’s the difficult part, Josie. A man’s any man at all, the first woman he hurts, he learns not to do that shit again. Good he learns at seventeen rather than twenty-five when shit might count.”

She said nothing to that for some time and Jake had pulled off Cross Street and onto the coastal road when she spoke again.

“When did you learn that?”

“How do you think I got married three times?” he answered.

He sensed he again had her eyes when she asked, “Pardon?”

“Learned early. Not at seventeen but saw a girl, had a girl on the side my sophomore year in college. They found out about that shit, it did not go down very well. I felt like a total fuckin’ asshole mostly ‘cause I was. The look on my girl’s face. Fuck.” He shook his head at the road. “Never forget that look, honey.”

“And how did this lead you to getting married three times?”

“Didn’t want to see that look again, got no clue how to get shot of a woman so I find I got her ring on my finger instead of seeing her in my rearview.”

“You…” she paused and her voice was higher pitched when she went on, “married women instead of ending things with them?”

He grinned at the road. “Never claimed to be Einstein.”

“Indeed you haven’t,” she murmured.

“How real do you want it?” he asked.

“How”—another pause—“real?”

“Honest. Straight up. How much of that can you take?”

“You’ve been astoundingly open already, Jake.”

He glanced at her again before looking back to the road and asking, “We gettin’ to know each other?”

“Yes.”

“Are you mine?”

A shocked, “Pardon me?”

“Did Lydie give you to me, babe,” he explained.

“Well…yes.”

Fuck yes.

There it was.

She was his.

“Then you’re mine,” he stated. “And that means you’re my kids’. And that means we gotta dig in there and give each other shit. So we shouldn’t hide and anyway, I got nothin’ to hide. I did what I did, made stupid decisions, fucked up, I’m still standing, my kids are healthy and happy. Not countin’ Amber pouting and being an occasional pain in the ass, Con serial dating and Ethan mourning the only grandmother he’ll really ever know.”

There was another pause before, quietly, she began, “His other grandmothers—”

“My ma’s dead, babe. So’s my dad,” Jake told her. “His mom’s dad is also gone and her mom lives up in Bridgewater. Sweet lady but a little whacked. She’s a hoarder, doesn’t leave her house and I don’t want my kid in a house like that. Plus, it isn’t exactly close. They talk on the phone. That’s all he’s got.”

“I’m sorry to hear of this, including about your parents, Jake,” she said, voice still soft.

“We deal, Josie,” he replied in the same tone.

He didn’t ask about her parents.

This was because he knew her father was dead. He’d asked his cop buddy, Coert, to look into it because Lydie asked him to and Coert found that shit out. He also knew her uncle was alive. And he knew her mother was off the grid, probably buried so deep under whatever identity she took when she escaped Josie’s assclown of a father, if she was alive, she’d never surface, even though her motherfucker of a husband was long gone.

Bitch should have taken her daughter.

But the bitch left her daughter to a monster.

“Would you like to, well…share about how you lost your parents?” she asked carefully.

He didn’t hesitate before he gave it to her.

“Dad, aneurysm. Right at work. Sixty-four. A few months from retirement it hits him, he’s down. Gone. Ethan was born three months later.”

“Jake,” she whispered but said no more.

Jake did.

“Ma died when Eath was nearly two. He doesn’t remember her. She had an infection, didn’t catch it, thought it was just bein’ tired ‘cause she was sad she lost Dad. By the time she looked into that shit, it had done a number on her heart. Too much damage to repair. Few months later, she just slipped away. Amber was tight with her, though. Like with Lydie, she took it hard.”

To this, he got nothing.

When he continued to get nothing, he turned his head and saw she was looking out the side window.

He looked back to the road.

Fuck, he was a dick.

“Josie,” he said gently. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have gotten into that shit.”

“Life happens, Jake,” she replied quietly. “And you’re just being”—she hesitated— “real.”

Too real.

“We’ll stop talking about that.”

She said nothing.

He drove on.

Finally, she broke the silence. “So, being, erm…real. Your wives?”

Terrific.

Now he got to give her not him being a dick but instead being an idiot.

“Donna, the first one, loved her. Probably shouldn’t have divorced her. She wanted it, I didn’t get it, but I gave it to her.”

“That sounds odd,” she noted when he said no more.

“It was,” he agreed. “To this day, I still don’t get it but what I get pisses me off so I try not to think about it.”

“You don’t have to share,” she offered.

That made him grin.

“Babe, laid myself out already. Too late for that.”

“Indeed,” she murmured but he heard a smile in her voice too and he looked at her to catch it.

He got a glimpse before returning his eyes to the road and he was glad he took that shot.

She was pretty normally. When she smiled though…

Jesus.

“Though, I don’t want you to get angry,” she went on.

“Too much time has passed, not worth it to get angry anymore,” he told her.

“All right,” she replied and he went for it.

“We fought, not all the time, but that shit happens,” he told her. “And honest to Christ, don’t know what was up her ass but something was. She got her teeth in it and wouldn’t let it go then wouldn’t let anything go then wanted to let me go. How I remember it starting was she wanted a new car. I couldn’t afford a new one so I bought her a used one. It was better than the one she had so I thought she was good. She didn’t. Told me I never listened to her. I told her I did but we couldn’t afford a brand new car. She got shitty, kept bein’ shitty, kicked my ass out. Lost her man but got herself a new car.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she snapped, suddenly pissed and he fought back the grin. But he had to admit he liked it that she gave him that emotion.

“That shit happened. She tried reconciliation. What we had was good, so I tried with her but seein’ as that shit kept comin’ up for me and pissing me off, it didn’t work. She threw away a marriage, a family, for a new car. Not down with that.”

“I heartily agree,” she declared and at that, he didn’t fight the grin.

He gave into it.

“Still, life led me to eventually gettin’ Ethan outta it, wouldn’t have had him with Donna so I guess shit works out the way it should.”

“Yes,” she agreed.

This was breathy and he didn’t know why. But he liked the way it sounded.

“Mandy, number two, was the shit,” he kept going. “Loved her too. She was all over me, all over bein’ stepmom to my kids. Put a ring on her finger, she wanted me, realized, 24/7, she couldn’t hack kids. She took off. Just one day came home and she was gone. Got the divorce papers in the mail. Haven’t seen her since. Good news was, I didn’t have her ticket, but the kids did so it rocked my world but they were glad she was gone.”

“That, well…rocking of your world sounds unpleasant.”

Jake shook his head at her words and the way she said them.

Fuck, half the time with her and the way she talked, he didn’t know whether to laugh or kiss her.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t do the last and didn’t think she’d appreciate him doing the first so he did neither.

“It wasn’t, honey, but don’t worry. Got over it quick, her hauling ass like that. Not cool. Figured, in the end, she was like that, I got off clean and did it fast, so I did all right.”

“And the last?” she prompted when he stopped talking.

“Sloane, Ethan’s mom.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re down with real?”

A pause then, “Yes, Jake, I’m down with real.”

He grinned again at the way she said that then stated, “She was fuckin’ fantastic in bed.”

When he said no more she asked, “That’s it?”

“No,” he answered. “She was unbelievably fuckin’ fantastic in bed.”

“I, um…well, that is to say…it doesn’t sound like you wanted to end things with any of these women.”

“You open your eyes, you see signs. You keep ‘em closed, you don’t see dick. Lookin’ back, every one of them gave me reason to throw in the towel before things got legal. I didn’t see it because I wasn’t man enough to look for it.”

Again, he got silence for a long time before she said, “I don’t know much about these matters, Jake, but I would think it would make a man less of a man if he was in love and he didn’t have the courage to try his hand.”

The courage to try his hand.