The last two days were wonderful, she said, thinking of the skating, the hansom cab, and kissing him in the snow. He had completely bowled her over. And now she had to concentrate on real life, and going back to Brandon. I'll call you, she said, choking on her own words, thinking of Jeff again, and not Brandon. Good night, Jeff.

Good night. He never told her why he'd called. He had called just to tell her that he loved her.

Chapter 7

Wednesday seemed endless to Allegra as she made her rounds. She had some appointments, uptown and down, a late lunch, and finally a last-minute dinner with a tax lawyer who did work for one of her clients. It was a long day, and as she walked down Madison Avenue from the restaurant, to get some air, she thought of Jeff for the thousandth time since that morning.

She had held firm, and it had almost killed her, but she hadn't called him. She couldn't, their feelings were too raw, the power of what they felt too strong. It was too dangerous to play with the fire that drove them.

And as she walked along, she looked casually into a bookstore, and there he was. His face on the back of his book stared at her from the window. She stopped, and looked deep into the eyes that said so much, and in spite of herself, she walked inside and bought one.

Back in her room, she set it on the table next to her, and looked at him, and then finally she put it in her briefcase. There was no message from him, nor anyone else. A stack of faxes had come in, and she had had long conferences on the phone with Bram Morrison and Malachi O'Donovan that morning. Carmen had left a cryptic message with Alice that she was okay, and everyone else seemed to be holding their own. Only Bram had a problem there had been an odd threat against one of his children. It had come by phone, and the Spanish housekeeper had scarcely understood what the man said, but it didn't sound good. Bram had called the police himself, and had put bodyguards on both his children. It was just as she had explained to Jeff, the problems were limitless, contracts, threats, decisions, tours, licensing, exploitation of all kinds, and the endless contracts.

But she found no solace in her work tonight. All she could think about was Jeff, and then, finally, at ten o'clock, he called her.

How was your day? He tried to sound non-threatening, but he was so nervous, his palms were wet. Just hearing her voice and knowing he couldn't see her made him unhappy.

Fine. She told him about Bram, both the tour and the threat, and Jeff thought that the threat against Bram's kids was disgusting.

Those people are sick. They should all go to jail. How was the rest of your day? he asked, and she looked mournfully across the room at her briefcase.

I bought your book.

You did? He sounded pleased. It cheered him up to think she'd actually thought about him. What made you buy it?

I wanted to have your picture. She sounded like a little kid, and he laughed, and wished he could put his arms around her.

I could come by and show you the real thing, he said hopefully, and this time she laughed.

I don't think we should.

How's Brandon? he finally asked after a pause. He hated the sound of the guy's name by now, but he was curious if she'd called him.

I called a little while ago. He was out. I'm sure he's all wrapped up in his trial.

What about us, Allegra? Jeff asked softly. He hadn't been able to concentrate on anything, think of anything, make sense at all since that morning.

I guess we're on hold, until we learn to control ourselves, she said, and he chuckled.

I'll buy you a little stun gun and you can zap me every time I get near you. You'd have to use it a lot though.

I'm as bad as you are, she said, still sounding guilty.

Don't be so hard on yourself, for heaven's sake. You're only human. And you did all the right things. You stopped me. You sent me away. You told me you wouldn't see me again. He counted her virtues, hating every one of them, but respecting her for her courage and ethics. She was determined to be faithful.

Yeah, I did all that, she said, correcting him, after I kissed you, repeatedly, I might add.

Listen, counselor, kissing is not a crime in this country. Take it easy. This is not Victorian England. You did all the right stuff, you should be pleased with yourself, he reminded her, still wishing she were less faithful to Brandon.

I'm not pleased. I'm miserable and I miss you, she confessed, and they both laughed.

I'm glad to hear it, he said, beaming. How does tomorrow look, or does that make any difference?

Pretty busy, and no, it doesn't.

I figured that, he said, sounding depressed. When are you going back?

Friday.

So am I. Can we at least fly back together? I promise not to do anything outrageous on the airplane. She laughed at the idea, but then that didn't seem smart to her. Why torture themselves? They obviously couldn't keep their hands off each other.

I don't think so, Jeff. Maybe lunch in L.A. sometime.

Come on, he complained, that's bullshit. We deserve better than that. Can't we be friends, at least? This doesn't make sense. You're not a nun, you're a woman. And you're not even married to the guy. And his guess was she never would be. But by the time she figured that out and got free again, God only knew what he'd be doing, or where he'd be living. Timing was important in life, and he had no intention of waiting to see her again until she gave up Brandon. At the rate she was going it could take years. Allegra, just see me once, before you go back. Please. I need to see you.

You don't need to, you want to, she argued.

I'll make a real nuisance of myself if you don't. I'll come to the hotel and lie on the floor in the lobby. I'll bring the hansom cab back and bring the horse through the revolving door. He always made her laugh, and he made her happy. What are you doing to us, you silly girl? What's this all about?

Keeping my word. Living up to a commitment.

That guy doesn't know the meaning of it, and you know it. He doesn't deserve this. And neither do I. At least let me take you to the airport.

I'll call you in L.A., she said firmly.

And say what? That you won't see me because of Brandon?

You said you wouldn't push me, she reminded him, feeling frazzled.

I lied, he responded calmly.

You're impossible.

Go read my book, or look at the picture. I'll call you tomorrow night.

I'll be out. She had to try to discourage him, but she really didn't want to.

Then I'll call you later.

Why are you doing this?

Because I love you. There was a long silence at her end, and Jeff waited and closed his eyes, knowing he shouldn't have said it. All right, I don't love you. That's insane. I like you very much, and I want to get to know you. There was a small, silvery laugh at her end. You know, Allegra Steinberg, you're driving me insane. And how are you going to represent me if you won't see me?

You don't have a deal right now anyway, she reminded him, and he sounded outraged.

Then get me one. What kind of a lawyer are you?

A crazy one, thanks to my newest client.

Go away, go back to him, he played with her, I don't want to see you anyway. And besides, you're a lousy skater.

Yes, I am, she agreed with him, laughing again, but they both treasured memories from the night before when they'd gone skating. And as she thought of it, she found it hard to believe that it had been only a day since she'd seen him. It seemed like an eternity. How was she going to survive in L.A. if she didn't see him?

You're a lovely skater, he said warmly. You're a lot of wonderful things. And I suppose one of those virtues is faithful. I just hope I'm lucky enough to get someone like you one day. The women in my life always seem to take the broad interpretation of fidelity to include at least half a dozen people, or most of the adult male inhabitants of a small city. Anyway, I'll call you tomorrow night, Miss Steinberg, he persisted politely.

Good night, Mr. Hamilton, she said primly. Have a lovely day tomorrow. I'll speak to you in the evening. She couldn't tell him not to call; she liked talking to him too much, and it gave them both something to look forward to, which was fortunate because the next day proved to be dreadful.

It poured with rain, cabs were impossible to find, the subway broke down when she finally tried that, and all of her appointments either ran overtime or were canceled. And she felt like a drowned rat by the time she got back to the hotel at six o'clock to change. That morning, she had been invited to the Weissmans' for dinner at seven-thirty. And just to keep her mind off Jeff, and so she wouldn't sit in her room and think of him, she had accepted. He had sent her long-stemmed red roses that morning. They had made her smile, but he hadn't broken her resolve. After two years, she owed more than that to Brandon. And she knew he was faithful to her. Despite his many failings, wandering wasn't among them. She had been surprised at herself with Jeff. Nothing like that had ever happened to her before, being seized in the grip of an irresistible attraction.

She was going back to L.A. the next day, but she hadn't spoken to Brandon since Monday. She'd called and left messages several times, but he was always out, or in court, or at meetings. It was unnerving not talking to him, but she decided that it was probably her punishment for almost having been unfaithful. She had been bad enough, kissing Jeff repeatedly, and she knew that if she'd seen Jeff again, she wouldn't have been able to resist him. She was sad but relieved to know that she would be out that night if he called her.