As she thought about him, and took the turnoff for Beverly Hills, she wondered if he'd be in the mood to go out to dinner. She knew he was preparing for a trial, and more than likely it would mean that he'd have to stay at the office until late that night. But she was hardly in a position to complain. Allegra had to work many nights, though usually not preparing trials. Her clients were writers, producers, directors, actors and actresses, and she did everything for them from contracts to wills, to negotiating deals for them, and handling their money or their divorces. The legal component of her activities interested her the most, but Allegra recognized better than most attorneys that with celebrity clients, or at least clients in show business, you had to be willing to handle every aspect of their complicated lives, not just their contracts. And there were times when Brandon seemed not to understand that. The field of entertainment had remained a mystery to him, despite all of the times when Allegra had tried to explain it to him. But he said that he preferred to practice law with and for normal people and in legal circumstances he understood, like a federal courtroom. He hoped to become a federal judge one day, and at thirty-six that already appeared to be a reasonable aspiration.
The phone rang in the car as Allegra made a turn, and for a minute she hoped that it would be Brandon, but it wasn't. It was her secretary, Alice. She had worked at the firm for fifteen years, and she was a lifesaver for Allegra. She had lots of common sense, a bright mind, and a soothing, maternal way of handling their more irascible clients.
Hi, Alice, what's up? Allegra asked, keeping her eyes on the road and nipping the phone on speaker.
Carmen Connors just called. I thought you'd want to know. She's very upset. She's on the cover of Chatter. It was one of the nastiest tabloids around, and they'd been eating Carmen alive for months, despite repeated warnings and threats from Allegra. But they knew just how far to go, and they were masters at going no further. They always stopped just shy of libel.
What now? Allegra asked, frowning, as she rapidly approached the little house her parents had helped her buy when she finished law school. She'd paid them back since, and she loved her little cottage, tucked away off Doheny.
The article said something about going to an orgy with one of her doctors, her plastic surgeon, I think. Poor Carmen had been foolish enough to date him once. They'd had dinner at Chasen's, and according to what she'd told Allegra, there hadn't even been sex, let alone an orgy.
Oh, for chrissake, Allegra muttered, as she pulled into her driveway with a look of annoyance. Do you have a copy there?
I'll get one on the way home. Do you want me to drop it off?
That's all right. I'll take a look at it tomorrow. I'm home. I'll give her a call right now. Thanks. Anything else?
Your mother called. She wanted to know if you can make it to dinner on Friday and she wanted to be sure you're coming to the Golden Globes on Saturday. She said she hoped you'd be there.
Of course. Allegra smiled as she sat in the stopped car, talking to Alice on the speaker. She knows that. Both of her parents were nominees this year, and she wouldn't miss being there for anything. She had invited Brandon to it more than a month ago, before Christmas.
I think she just wanted to be sure you were coming.
I'll call her too. Is that it?
That's it. It was six-fifteen. She'd left the office at five-thirty, which was early for her. But she was taking work home, and if she didn't see Brandon, she'd have time to do it.
See you tomorrow, Alice. Good night, Allegra said, and took the key out of the ignition. She grabbed her briefcase, locked the car, and hurried inside. The house seemed dark and empty, and as she walked in and tossed her briefcase on the couch, she switched on the lights and strode into the kitchen.
She had a spectacular view of the city below. It was dark by then, and the lights were twinkling like jewels, as she helped herself to an Evian and sifted through her mail. A few bills, a letter from Jessica Farnsworth, an old friend from school, a handful of catalogs, a lot of junk, and a postcard from another friend, Nancy Towers, skiing in St. Moritz. She threw most of it away, and as she sipped the Evian, she noticed Brandon's running shoes, and she smiled. The house always seemed more lived in when he left his things there. He kept his own apartment too, but he spent a fair amount of time with her. He liked being with her, and he told her so, but he was equally clear about not being ready to make a commitment. Marriage had just been too confining and too traumatic. And he was afraid to make another mistake, which was probably why he was taking so long to divorce Joanie. But Allegra had everything she wanted anyway. She had told that to her therapist, as well as her parents. And she was only twenty-nine. She was in no hurry to get married.
As she put her mail aside, she pushed her long blond hair back and flipped the switch on her answering machine, then she sat down on a bar stool at the kitchen counter. Her kitchen was impeccably neat, and everything was done in white marble and black granite. The floor was black-and-white check, and she stared absently at it as she listened to her messages. Predictably, the first one was from Carmen, and she sounded as though she'd been crying. She said something incoherent about the article, and how unfair it was, and how upset her grandmother had been. She had called Carmen that afternoon from Portland. She didn't know if Allegra would want to sue this time, but she thought they should talk about it, and she asked Allegra to call her as soon as she got home, or had a free moment. It never occurred to Carmen that Allegra had a right to her own time. Carmen needed her for her own affairs, and that was all she ever thought of, but that didn't make her a bad person.
Allegra's mother had called again, inviting her to dinner on Friday night just as Alice had said, and reminding her of the Golden Globe Awards ceremony that weekend. Allegra smiled as she listened to her. Her mother sounded really excited. Probably because Allegra's father was nominated too, but in any case, she said Scott was coming down from Stanford to watch with Sam, and she hoped Allegra would go to the ceremony with her parents.
The next message was from a tennis pro Allegra had been dodging for weeks. She had started lessons several times, but she just didn't have time to pursue it. She jotted down his name, and made a note to remind herself to call him and at least explain that she couldn't.
After that there was a message from a man she'd met over the holidays. He'd been attractive and worked for an important studio, but he wasn't playing fair. She had met him when she was with Brandon. She smiled and listened to the husky voice as he left his name and said he hoped that she would call him. But there was no question of it in her mind. She had no interest in going out with anyone but Brandon. He was the third important love affair in her life. The previous one had lasted for almost four years, through the last half of law school, and for her first two years in L.A. as an attorney. He had gone to graduate school at Yale too, and he was a director. But after four years, he had been no closer to making a commitment to her, and in the end he had moved to London. He had asked her to come too, but she was up to her neck in clients at Fisch, Herzog, and Freeman by then, and there was no way she could join him in London. Or that was what she had said anyway. But even she had figured out that there was no point giving up a great job and following him to the ends of the earth, when he simply refused to make any promises about, or even discuss, the future. Roger had lived for today, in the moment. He talked a lot about karma, and chi, and freedom. And after two years in therapy, Allegra had finally gotten smart enough not to follow him to London. So she had stayed in L.A., and had met Brandon two months later.
And even before that, Roger had been preceded by a married professor at Yale. Allegra had gotten involved with him during her senior year, and it had been an affair filled with lust and excitement and passion. She had never known anyone like him, and the only way they had been able to end it was when Tom went on sabbatical, and hiked through Nepal for a year. He had taken his wife, and their infant son, and when they'd finally returned, she was once again pregnant. By then, Allegra was seeing Roger. But there had always been some powerful electricity between them whenever their paths crossed. Eventually, she'd been relieved when he went to teach at Northwestern. He had had overwhelming feelings of desire for her, but he had never been able to translate them into any kind of clear-cut vision about their future. All he could see, when he looked down the long road ahead of them, was Mithra, his wife, and their son, Euclid. He was something of a vestige of her past now, and her therapist rarely brought him up, except to illustrate the fact that she had never had a relationship that included any kind of promises involving her future.
I'm not sure, at twenty-nine, I should have had that anyway, she had responded more than once. I've never really wanted to get married.
That's not the point, Allegra, Dr. Green always said firmly. She was from New York, and she had big dark eyes that sometimes haunted Allegra after their sessions. They had been seeing each other off and on for four years now. Allegra was comfortable with her life, it was just that there was a lot of pressure on her, a lot of expectations from her family and her law firm, and she was very busy. Has anyone ever wanted to marry you} Dr. Green honed in more than once on what Allegra always insisted was a meaningless question.
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