Cindy Gerard - The Way Home

Last week was Thanksgiving. She and Ty were to have been married then. Instead, she and J.R. had been in Hibbing, at the VA medical center there, spending the night Thursday so they could be on time for his early-morning battery of medical exams and evals Friday morning.

“J.R. is my husband, Brad. Did you really think I’d turn away when he needed me?”

“I didn’t know,” Brad confessed. “I got to tell you, I don’t know what I’d do if it was me in this situation.”

“I know what you’d do,” Jess reassured him.

“Well, I want to thank you. I love my brother.” Tears welled, and Brad quickly looked away.

“I love him, too, Brad. I’m going to be here for him.”

She got up to get the coffee pot and to give Brad some time to compose himself. J.R. wasn’t the only one struggling. She could sense how tense and fragile and raw Brad felt around his brother. She could sense it because it was exactly how she felt around J.R.

“Maybe today he’ll be ready to get out of the apartment for something other than a doctor’s appointment,” Brad said when she returned to the table. “I can take him down to the shop, let him hang around with me for a while.”

“I don’t know. You can ask him.”

“We can’t keep his return a secret much longer,” Brad said, sounding worried. “It’s been three weeks. People know something’s up.”

They knew something was up because she’d closed the store for almost two weeks without notice and left the state. They knew because Ty was gone. A dull ache swelled in her chest. Everyone had known they’d planned to get married at Thanksgiving. She tried not to think about him. She tried not to wonder about him. She had a husband to heal. A marriage to restore. And she was going to do everything in her power to make things work. But the dog, it seemed, gave him more comfort than she did.

“I know,” she said, pushing thoughts of Ty from her mind. “But that’s a major issue for J.R. It’s not only that he’s uncomfortable seeing people. He wants to keep his entire story secret. The family who helped him, the woman and her father? He’s worried that if the press gets hold of his story, their names will come out, and the Taliban will go after them in retaliation for hiding him.”

Brad considered his coffee cup with a dark frown. “Wish we could thank them some way.”

“You can thank them,” J.R. said, limping into the kitchen, Bear padding along softly behind him, “by never mentioning them again. The way you thank them is to keep quiet.”

Brad nodded quickly. “I know. I know that, bro. No one’s going to hear about it from me. But I was thinking. Like I was telling Jess, people are starting to wonder what’s going on. You know, this store is like the watering hole for everyone who lives around the lake.”

“So I’ve been told,” J.R. said.

After a brief hesitation, he joined them at the table.

Jess knew he was still not comfortable around either one of them, but she tried to act natural so that maybe it would start to feel natural to him.

“I’ve got water hot for tea. I’ll get you a mug.”

Jess sprang up from the table, then slowed herself down, so J.R. wouldn’t see how unsettled she felt. He used to be a coffee drinker but had developed a taste for strong tea and honey. The woman who hid him got him started on it, he’d explained.

“Thanks,” J.R. said absently.

“So,” Brad began again, “how about we tell them the partial truth? You were held captive all these years and managed to escape. End of story. People aren’t going to pry, J.R. They’ll respect your privacy, especially if we put the word out that you’re still recovering and don’t want to talk about it. To anyone.”

“He’s right, J.R.” Jess returned to the table with his tea and honey. “Yes, they’re going to be excited for you. In fact, they’ll probably want to throw some kind of a party. But we’ll make it clear you’re still recovering, a party is out of the question, and privacy is essential, to keep it under their hats until you’re back on your game.”

She covered his hand with hers and blinked back tears when he slowly withdrew it, rejecting her touch, still so very, very uncomfortable with physical contact.

Bear, it seemed, was the only thing to have breached that barrier. J.R had loved the dog on sight. The feeling had been mutual. Jess had read that Labs had very sensitive radar concerning human feelings. She was fully convinced it was true. The dog rarely left J.R.’s side. Whether he felt protective or sensed J.R.’s fragile state, she didn’t know. She was glad the dog had penetrated the wall J.R. had built around himself and his feelings and had given him an outlet for affection.

“Do whatever you have to do,” he said, not looking at either one of them.

“Thought maybe you might feel up to a drive today,” Brad said hopefully. He had been suffering, too, not knowing how to reach his brother. “Take a loop around the lake, maybe? Stop by my shop, show you my business. You used to help me guide, you know. We had some good times and real laughs on some of those fishing trips.”

“Maybe another day,” J.R. said, not unkindly but with a tone so dismissive Brad knew not to coax. “Thanks, though. I appreciate the offer.”

“No. No. It’s OK. I understand.” Brad stood then, trying not to look like a little boy who hadn’t been picked for a team. “Guess I’d better get moving. You, ah, you let me know if you need anything, OK?”

“Sure thing,” J.R. said without looking at his brother.

“You, too, Jess,” Brad said, and headed for the door.

The kitchen felt suddenly empty and a little scary. She wasn’t afraid of J.R. She was afraid for him. She was afraid for them.

She stared at the walls Ty had painted for her, and a memory of him making love to her on the kitchen table flashed, so vivid and real her abdominal muscles clenched.

“I’m sorry,” J.R. said, still staring at his untouched tea. “I don’t mean to hurt him. I wish I could respond to him. He… he tries so hard.”

“He understands,” Jess said, even though she knew Brad didn’t understand. He wanted his brother back. He’d pinned all his hope on some miracle happening to jog his memory once they brought J.R. home.

“I wish I did. I wish I understood any of this.”

Tears formed in his eyes, and her heart went out to him. “I have an idea. After breakfast, why don’t I cut your hair and shave off that beard for you? Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe a change would be good for you. What do you think?”

He gave her a half-smile, then looked down at the dog who had parked by his feet. “What do you think, Bear? Think maybe it’s time you’re the furriest critter in this house?”

Bear wagged his tail.

J.R. looked up at her with a hint of a light in his eyes. “Bear says it’s time.”

“Then we have a plan. First I feed you. Then we do a makeover.”

And for the first time since she’d heard the news that her husband was alive, Jess’s smile wasn’t forced. For an instant, a very brief instant, she’d seen a glimpse of the old J.R. That half-smile, that silly sense of humor, and it made her heart glad.

J.R. WATCHED JESS FROM HIS recliner as she hauled boxes of Christmas decorations out of the hall closet, even though it was only the first week in December.

“Business drops off drastically in late autumn,” she told him, chattering away as she always did. It wasn’t that she annoyed him. He understood. She was simply attempting to fill him in on her life, which was now his life.

She really was a very attractive woman. Kind. Attentive. He wished he was attracted to her. It would make it so much easier for both of them.