Джорджетт Хейер - The Unknown Ajax

“Married!” ejaculated Hugo, taken-aback. “Lord, no, sir!”

“No, I didn’t think you could be,” said his lordship. “I recommend you get on terms with your cousin Anthea. She doesn’t want for sense, and she’s a spirited, lively girl, and would make you an excellent wife, if she took a fancy to you. I shall say no more on that head at present, however. Time enough to be looking to the future when you’re better acquainted. What you can do at the moment is to go over the house with her: get her to tell you about the family! Ring the bell!”

The Major rose, and obeyed this peremptory behest. He also mopped his brow.

“I’m going to send for her,” said his lordship. “She can take you up to the picture-gallery for a start.”

The Major, showing alarm for the first time, tried to protest, but was cut short. “Ay, I know that throws you into a stew! You haven’t been the way of doing the pretty, and you’re as shy as be-damned: you needn’t tell me! You’ll have to get the better of that, and you may as well begin at once. Chollacombe, desire Miss Darracott to come to me here immediately!”

The Major, attempting no further remonstrance, ran a finger inside a neckcloth grown suddenly too tight, and awaited in considerable trepidation the arrival of his cousin Anthea.

It was some little time before Anthea obeyed the summons to the library, but Lord Darracott, contrary to the Major’s expectation, showed no sign of putting himself in a passion. He occupied himself with giving his grandson a few hints on the best ways of fixing his interest with females in general and his cousin in particular; and when Anthea did at last enter the room, greeted her quite genially, saying: “Ah, here you are, my dear! Where the devil have you been hiding yourself?”

She put up her brows. “I have merely been with my mother, sir. We are rather busy this morning.”

“Well, never mind that!” said his lordship. “I want you to show your cousin round the house. Tell him its history! He don’t know anything about the family, and that won’t do. You can take him up to the picture-gallery, and let him see a few of his ancestors.”

“I am persuaded, sir, that that is a task Chollacombe is longing to perform. He would be delighted to instruct my cousin.”

“Don’t argue with me, girl, but do as I bid you!” snapped his lordship.

“Nay, if my cousin’s throng—”

“And don’t you think you can argue with me either!’’ said his lordship. “You’ll do as you’re told, the pair of you!”

The Major hesitated, but Anthea said coolly: “Very well, Grandpapa. Will you come with me, if you please, Cousin Hugo?”

The Major, with something of the air of one nerving himself to lead a forlorn hope, bowed, and accompanied her out of the room. But once beyond Lord Darracott’s sight and hearing he said apologetically: “There’s no sense in fratching with the old gentleman, but if you’re throng this morning I can look after myself well enough, cousin.”

“When you have lived in this house for a few days you will have discovered that it is wisest to obey Grandpapa,” she returned, leading the way towards the staircase. “Certainly in small matters. Unless, of course, you have a fancy for the sort of brangling he delights in?”

“Nay, I’m a peaceable man.”

“So I have observed,” she said. “I don’t know how you contrived to keep your temper at the breakfast-table. I could have wished that you hadn’t.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be proper for me to start a fight with my grandfather.”

“It would be very proper for you to start one with Vincent, however!”

He smiled, but shook his head. “Hard words break no bones. Seemingly, I’ve put Vincent’s nose out of joint, so it’s natural he should be nattered. Happen he’ll come about.”

She did not speak again until they had reached the upper hall. She paused then, at the head of the stairs, and asked abruptly: “Has Grandpapa told you that he means to keep you here?”

“Ay, but chance it happens that he can’t abide me he’ll send me packing,” he replied cheerfully.

“Do you—are you going to submit to his tyranny?”

“Well, there you have me,” he said, rubbing his nose with a large forefinger, and slightly wrinkling his brow. “It won’t do for me to be at outs with him, so it’s likely I’ll have to submit to him.”

She glanced up at him rather searchingly. “I see!”

“While I’m under his roof,” added Hugo. “The odds are that won’t be for long.”

She walked across the hall, and into a large saloon, whose chairs and pendant chandelier were all muffled in Holland covers. “The State apartments,” she announced. “So-called because Queen Elizabeth once occupied them for a sennight. Tradition has it that she contrived, hunting inforse and in the chase, to denude the park of deer. I’ve forgotten what it cost our noble ancestor to entertain her: some fabulous sum, and all to no avail, for she quarrelled violently with his lady, and is said to have left Darracott Place in a dudgeon. That, by the way, is a portrait of our noble ancestor,” she added, nodding to the picture over the fireplace. “Very Friday-faced, not to say hangdog, but that might have been because of the Queen’s visit.”

“I should say myself that the poor fellow suffered from a colicky disorder,” replied Hugo. “He has the look of it. Sallow as a Nabob!”

She laughed, and led him on into an antechamber. “Very likely! We are now approaching the Queen’s Bedchamber. You will notice her cipher over the bedstead. The hangings are all original, but pray don’t touch them! The silk is quite rotten.”

The Major stood looking round at faded and tarnished magnificence. “Eh, but it’s a shame!” he said. “Why has it all been let go to ruin? It queers me that a man as proud as his lordship shouldn’t keep his house in better order!”

“Well, it won’t queer you when you are rather better acquainted with him,” she replied. “His pride is of a peculiar order, and is not in the least diminished by debts or encumbered estates. Did you suppose yourself to be inheriting fortune as well as title? You will be sadly disappointed!”

“I can see that. But that colt your brother has wasn’t bought for a song, and here’s the old gentleman wishing to make me an allowance!”

She stared at him. “He must do that, of course. As for Richmond’s colt, there’s always money to pay for what he has set his heart on. Vincent is another who can in general get what he wants from Grandpapa. Next to Richmond, he is Grandpapa’s favourite. Have you looked your fill at our past grandeur? We have now only to go through the room allotted to the maids-of-honour—quite unremarkable, as you perceive—and we have reached the picture-gallery. There is a stairway at the far end which was originally the principal one. The present Grand Stairway is of later date.”

“If ever I saw such a rabbit-warren!” he remarked.

“Exactly so, but I advise you not to say that within Grandpapa’s hearing.” She walked over to the first of six large window-embrasures, and stood looking out through the latticed panes, with her back turned to the Major.

“Before I show you our forebears, cousin, there is something I wish to say. No, not that: something I feel myself obliged to say! You may think it odd of me—even improper!—but I have a notion you are not quite as stupid as you would like us to believe. I daresay you may understand why it is that I find myself in the very awkward position of being forced to put myself, and you too, to the blush. I know Grandpapa well enough to be tolerably certain that he has ordered you to make me an offer.” She turned her head as she spoke, her colour a little heightened, but her eyes meeting the Major’s squarely. “If he had not already done so, he will. But I think he has. Am I right?”

“He didn’t precisely do that,” replied Hugo cautiously.

“He will. I hope you will summon up the courage to refuse to obey that particular command. Pray believe that nothing would induce me to obey it! If that seems to you uncivil, I beg your pardon, but—”

“Nay, I’m reet glad to hear you say it!” he responded ingenuously.

Her eyes narrowed in sudden amusement. “I was persuaded you would be. I must warn you, however, of pressure brought to bear on you—! You don’t know! He has ways of forcing us all to knock under: you may find yourself in a fix over it!”

“I may do that,” he acknowledged, “but I’ll be far if I make you an offer at his or any other man’s bidding!” He added hastily, as she broke into laughter: “The thing is, I’m by way of being promised already! Othergates, of course, it would be different.”

“Good God! Did you tell Grandpapa so?”

“I’ve not told him yet,”owned Hugo sheepishly.

“You were afraid to!”

“Nay, it was just that it wasn’t, seemingly, the reet moment for telling him!” he protested.

She was looking scornful. “It never will be the right moment. You were afraid!”

“Well, you weren’t so brave yourself, not to tell him you wouldn’t marry me,” he pointed out.

“Yes, I was!” she retorted. “I would have told him so that instant I knew what he meant to do! I didn’t do so because—oh, you don’t understand! For me the case is quite otherwise!”

“Ay, it would be,” he agreed.

“Well, it is, so you need not speak in that detestable way! Whenever I come to cuffs with Grandpapa it’s Mama who suffers for it, and she has enough to bear without being blamed for my sins I That’s why I asked you not to offer for me, so that Grandpapa couldn’t say it was my fault, or bully Mama into urging me to accept you. Heaven knows your shoulders are big enough, but I see you are just like the rest, and dare not square up to him!”