Tara Me - The Training

“Deal.”

As he, once more, moved close to me, I shut my eyes and breathed in the scent of him. He smelled dark and woodsy.

Our lips touched, gentle at first. I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair. He moaned and parted his lips, deepening the kiss. Then what was gentle grew passionate and what was soft became laced with need. But we both knew we could not give in to our need. It wouldn’t progress beyond the kiss.

When our lips parted, he sighed against my cheek. “I love you.”

—ABBY—

I turned the rice cooker on and walked to where Nathaniel stood cutting cucumbers, carrots, and avocados. I reached under his arm and grabbed a peeled carrot.

“Hey.” He spun around. “I was just getting ready to use that one.”

“You have plenty.” I took a small bite, enjoying the satisfying crunch.

He narrowed his eyes and watched me with mock ire as I chewed and swallowed.

“FYI,” I said, shaking the carrot at him. “I will never pick peas over carrots on a Tuesday night. Unless they’re cooked. I hate cooked carrots.”

His eye crinkled up at the edges and his mouth gave way to a beautiful smile. “Point taken.”

“Now.” I reached for the peeler and took another carrot. “Since I’ve deprived you of your peeled carrot, the least I can do is peel another one for you.”

“Oh, yes,” he said, his hand brushing my shoulder just slightly before moving away from me. “The very least.”

I knew he was working hard, trying to let me dictate our weekday time. He had been hesitant at lunch the previous day, a change from the cookout with Felicia and Jackson when he’d touched me almost constantly.

I turned to him and stroked his hand. “I like it when you touch me. Don’t stop just because you’re afraid I’ll take it the wrong way or will feel obligated.”

His smile grew even larger. “You know me so well.”

I lifted to my toes and gave him a small kiss. “Sometimes.”

The look in his eyes told me he didn’t believe me. I decided not to pursue it further. Besides, there was something else I wanted to talk about. I turned back to the counter and began peeling the carrot.

“You wanted to ask me something about this weekend?” I asked.

He took another carrot and we worked side by side.

“You’ve heard me talk about Paul?” he asked.

Paul was Nathaniel’s mentor. I knew that. The man who had been his instructor. Nathaniel told me once that Paul was the only person he’d ever subbed for. My mind still couldn’t wrap itself around that—Nathaniel subbing for someone. Even if there wasn’t any sex involved, it still confused me.

“And Christine?” he asked.

Paul’s wife. And submissive. They had a three-month-old son, Sam. Paul had e-mailed Nathaniel pictures of the pudgy baby. Sam was cute as a button and had a precious toothless grin.

“Of course I remember you talking about Paul,” I said. “Hard to forget that one.”

The image of Nathaniel willingly submitting himself to anyone wasn’t anything I could easily forget.

“I spoke to him,” he said. “He’s invited us to New Hanover this weekend.”

This weekend?

“I told him I’d talk to you about it, get your thoughts,” he said. “You could talk with Christine some. She’s a submissive, and I think it would be a good idea for you to talk with someone you can relate to like that.”

I kept peeling the carrot. Someone to talk to? Someone who wasn’t Nathaniel? Would that be weird? How did one start that conversation, anyway? Hi, I’m Abby and I crave domination?

“He also mentioned the two of them playing for us,” Nathaniel said. “Perhaps something on your soft limit list.”

Watch people have sex?

The peeler slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor.

He dropped down and picked it up. When he stood, he gently cupped my face. “You have ‘watching others’ listed as willing on your checklist. I would never violate your hard limits. Ever.”

My mind spun in a hundred directions. Would we be in Paul’s playroom? How did that work? Would Christine care?

“You have ‘forced nudity around others’ and ‘exhibitionism among friends’ listed as soft limits.” He didn’t move his hand. “I won’t push those limits this weekend. You will remain clothed, and I will not ask you to play in front of anyone.”

We were both silent for several seconds, and his unspoken words rang in my head. A reminder he would push my limits at some point.

He smiled. “And it’s Tuesday, Abby.”

Tuesday. Abby.

He waited until Tuesday to bring the weekend up because he wanted my honest opinion. I understood immediately why he hadn’t asked me on Sunday, not when I’d very nearly called him master in front of Jackson and Felicia. He knew my answer might be hindered by wearing his collar so recently if he’d asked any earlier.

“Wow,” I said. “When I marked that down, I guess I wasn’t thinking anything would happen this fast.”

“Do you not want to go?”

I tilted my head. “No. It’s not that. I just have to think a minute.”

I went back to the vegetables, making sure everything was ready for when the rice came out. He walked to the refrigerator and pulled out the tuna and eel—giving me space, allowing me time to think through my answer.

“Have you ever had sex with Christine?” I asked.

“What?” He looked up from unwrapping the fish. “No.”

“Have you ever played with her?” I asked, rethinking my question.

“No.” He took a knife and cut the tuna into strips. “I have watched them before.”

“That would have been my next question.”

“I thought as much.”

I separated the vegetables into little piles—my pile and his—and thought more about his question. Would it be odd to sit down for dinner with a couple after seeing them in a playroom?

“Abby?” he asked, washing his hands. “Paul and Christine are highly regarded in the community, and they’re quite used to dealing with jitters. It may be slightly uncomfortable at times, but this is something they’re both used to. He told me Christine gets turned on by being watched.”

I thought about that. Remembered back to when Nathaniel and I had sex at the Super Bowl. There was still an undercurrent of excitement that ran through me whenever I thought about it.

“Christine would be a good person for you to talk with,” he said. “She would understand and help you with any questions you have but aren’t comfortable talking to me about.” He walked to me and stroked my cheekbone. His expressive eyes betrayed the even tone of his voice. “And she married her dominant.”

Married her dominant.

Would Nathaniel and I one day be at that point? Would he want that? Would I?

I thought about how close I was to Felicia and pondered how nice it would be to have a girlfriend in the lifestyle I could talk with. Then I thought about my checklists and the items I had marked as soft limits. Would I be willing to modify my checklist afterward? Would watching one of my soft limits play out before me change my interest?

“Let’s go.” I smiled. “Let’s do it.”

I thought he would ask me if I was sure, but instead he kissed me softly. “I’ll call Paul tomorrow.”

After dinner, we took Apollo outside to play a bit of catch. He knew what we were going to do and ran out before us, practically dancing in his excitement.

Nathaniel and I walked outside, our arms brushing every so often. He threw a tennis ball to Apollo when we’d made it out to the cherry trees. Apollo growled low in his throat and took off at a run to catch the ball and bring it back for another round.

I giggled when Apollo nearly tripped over his feet as he turned back to us. He looked as if he were laughing when he returned.

“What a ham,” I said.

“He likes to show off for you,” Nathaniel said, throwing the ball again.

The three of us played fetch for a few more minutes. The weather had finally turned warm, and even though it was still more than a week away, it looked as if Felicia and Jackson would have nice weather for the wedding. I wasn’t sure how Felicia did it; I’d never be able to handle planning an outdoor wedding. Too much uncertainty.

“When does the lease on your apartment run out?” he asked.

His question rattled me, and I messed up on my throw of the ball. Fortunately, Apollo didn’t care.

“Mid-June,” I said.

“Are you going to renew?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

I heard him take a deep breath from where he stood beside me.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said.

I steeled myself. Was he going to ask me to move in with him? What would I say? How would I answer? I threw the ball to Apollo again, and I noticed my hand shook.

“Will it bother you to be alone once Felicia’s not next door?” he asked.

I’d asked myself that same question numerous times. “I don’t know.”

“I’m not sure I like you being there by yourself.”

“Because Felicia offered me so much protection? I am a big girl, you know.”

“I know you are. I just worry.”

“Maybe I’ll get a dog or take Apollo with me or get a really big can of Mace or—”

“Or you could move in with me.”

My breath caught, and I shifted my gaze to follow Apollo. “I suppose that depends.”

“On?”

“On if you want me to move in because you want me or because you’re worried about me.”

His eyes were soft and pleading. “You doubt I want you?”

“It didn’t seem like that was your primary motive in asking me to move in.”