He shrugged. “It is not for you to criticize.”

“What?” Her voice was high-pitched and carried a tone that warned him there was danger ahead.

He decided to change tactics. “Kayleen is nearly twenty-five. While it is very kind of you to be concerned about her welfare, she is more than capable of taking care of herself.”

Lina put her hands on her hips. “Are you kidding me? That’s it? That’s all you have to say? As’ad, you are a prince. You defiled a virgin under the king’s roof. You don’t get to escape by telling me she’s an adult and therefore responsible for her decisions.”

Defiled a virgin? Did she have to say it like that? He shifted uncomfortably. “I did not take anything that wasn’t offered.”

“Oh, there’s an excuse.”

“Lina, you will not speak to me this way.”

“Of course I will.” She glared at him, her outrage clear. “As’ad, I am Kayleen’s friend. I brought her into this house. I’m responsible for her.”

“You wanted me to marry her.”

“I considered it a possibility. I thought you would be a good match. You weren’t supposed to take her virginity. She was raised by nuns. She’s nearly twenty-five and has had what, a dozen dates?”

He refused to feel guilty. He was Prince As’ad and because of that, whatever he chose to do was the right thing. And yet there was a nagging voice in the back of his head that pointed out he hadn’t thought things through.

“She planned to return to the convent school,” he told Lina. “She was going to bury herself there.”

“So you decided to change that? If you don’t want her, who are you to destroy her life?”

“Her life is not destroyed.” He resented the implication. “I honored her.”

“Oh, please. It was never for you to decide what she did with her life. It was never for you to judge. You took the one thing she would want to give her husband. Now she can’t go back to the convent school and you’ll have no use for her. Then what? She’s ruined, As’ad, and you did it. Kayleen isn’t the type to take that lightly. She had choices before. You’ve taken them away from her.”

He turned from his aunt and walked to the French doors leading to the balcony. While Lina made things more dramatic than they needed to be, he understood her point.

He’d wanted Kayleen and he’d taken her. It had happened before-dozens of times. Hundreds. Women were always delighted to be with him. But there was a large difference between them and Kayleen. The women he enjoyed were experienced. They understood how the game was played. Kayleen didn’t even know there was a game.

She had given herself eagerly, sensually. She’d enjoyed their lovemaking. He’d opened her eyes to the possibilities, but he had also taken something that couldn’t be returned.

His aunt’s words echoed in his head. That he had defiled a virgin under the roof of the king. There was a time when, prince or not, such an offense would result in his death. Virginity was a prize to be given to a husband. It was a gift of honor. Something she had no more.

He turned back to Lina, intent on explaining, once again, that he’d only had Kayleen’s best interests in mind. That it was important that she not lock herself away and ignore the world. But was that his only motivation?

Had there been some part of him that had wanted to be her first time? Some part of him that had wanted to claim her for himself because he knew he could?

“I will marry her,” he said firmly, the words surprising him. He paused, waiting for the sense of being trapped to rise up inside of him. Waiting for the protests he must feel, but there was nothing.

It occurred to him that because he did not plan to love his wife, Kayleen was an excellent choice. As good as any other he could think of. He already liked her. She was spirited and beautiful, he enjoyed her company. She was good with children and had a sharp mind. While she knew nothing of the lifestyle of a royal bride, she would learn quickly. She would provide him with strong sons. And just as important, she was not the type to make unreasonable demands. She would be grateful for his proposal and treat him with respect.

Lina stared at him. “You’ll what?”

“I will marry her. I accept my responsibility in what has occurred. Kayleen deserves more than having her gift taken in a thoughtless manner. While she gave herself to me willingly, I do not believe she had thought through the ramifications of our night together.”

“That’s why they call it ‘swept away,’” Lina murmured, then nodded slowly. “You are sure?”

“I will speak to her this morning. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes, but after that I will explain what has to be done. She is a sensible woman. She will understand the great honor I bestow upon her and be pleased.”

“How I wish I could be there for that conversation.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

His aunt smiled at him. “I would tell you to phrase things differently, but you won’t listen. For what it’s worth, I think you have chosen well, As’ad. I hope things work out the way you want them to.”

“They will. I am asking Kayleen to marry me. What more could she want?”

Lina’s smile widened. “I can’t think of a single thing.”

Kayleen ran and ran until she found herself outside. The bright, sunny morning seemed to be mocking her as she wandered through the curving paths. How could everything here be so beautiful when she felt so awful inside?

What had she done? How could she have slept with As’ad? A few kisses and she’d given in? What did that make her?

She found a bench and sat down. The stone was warm to her touch, almost as if it were trying to offer comfort. Her eyes burned as she longed for someone to talk to. Someone to advise her. But who? She didn’t feel comfortable discussing something so personal with the other teachers she’d worked with. Especially after moving to the palace. She was too ashamed to call her Mother Superior back home. Normally she would go to Lina, but how to explain to her what she’d done? As’ad was Lina’s nephew.

Besides, Kayleen couldn’t bear to see disappointment in her friend’s eyes.

All the regrets she’d been so happy not to feel seemed to crash in on her. Not regret for what she’d done, but for the consequences, which made her horribly weak. Her regrets were about her future, not her past.

How could she return home now? How could she walk into that place where she’d grown up and had longed to return, knowing she had given in to the first man who asked? It wasn’t that she feared punishment, it was that she didn’t know who she was anymore.

She stood abruptly and started walking. An odd sound caught her attention.

She turned toward it and saw a large cage filled with doves. They were beautiful, so white and lovely in the sunlight. She watched them hop from perch to perch.

Her dream was gone, she thought. Her plans, her hopes. Now she was trapped here. Nanny to the girls until they were too old to need her or until As’ad replaced her. She was at his mercy. And then what? Another job? Where? Doing what?

She didn’t know who she was anymore. What she wanted. What she should do.

Impulsively she leaned toward the cage and opened the door. The doves chirped in excitement, then in a rush, flew out and up, disappearing into the brilliant blue sky.

“Fly away,” she whispered. “Fly and be free.”

“I do that myself.”

Kayleen jumped and turned toward the speaker. She was stunned to find the king standing on the path.

Horror swept through her. She’d just set free royal doves.

“I…I…”

King Mukhtar smiled kindly. “Don’t worry, child. It’s difficult to resist setting them loose. There is no need for concern. They always return. It is their nature. This is their home. They can’t escape their destiny.”

She knew he meant the words to be reassuring, but they cut through her. Yesterday she had known her own destiny, but today she was less sure. What was her place? Where did she belong? What happened now?

“Are you enjoying living at the palace?” the king asked. “You are treated well?”

His question nearly made her laugh. But she was afraid that if she started to laugh, she wouldn’t stop and then she would start crying. Hysterics would lead to a lot of questions she didn’t want to answer.

“Everything is lovely,” she said, doing her best to keep her emotions in check. “The palace is beautiful. I’ve been studying the history of the building and of your people. There is a long tradition of bravery in battle.”

“The desert runs in our blood. We were warriors long before we were rulers.”

“It must be difficult to leave the desert,” she told him. “The beauty, the wildness, the tradition. The nomads live as they always have.”

“With few modern conveniences,” he said with a smile. “Much can be endured if one has excellent plumbing.”

She gave a little giggle, which seemed to take a sharp turn at the end. She swallowed the sound. “But to walk in the steps of those who have gone before would be a fair compensation.”

“So says the woman who has not experienced desert life. Spend a week with my people and then we will have this conversation again.”

She nodded. “I would like that.”

She spoke the truth. There was something appealing about simplicity right now. About having the rules of one’s life spelled out. Too many choices could be complicated.

If she had never left the convent school in the first place, she wouldn’t have met As’ad and none of this would have happened. Yet was it equally wrong to hide from the world? To take the safe and, therefore, easy road? To never test herself? Is that what she’d been supposed to learn?

“I just don’t know,” she said.

The king looked quizzical. “What troubles you, child?”

“Nothing.” She felt tears burning in her eyes. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t feel well. Please excuse me.”