‘As much as I ever am. I don’t think it is in my nature to be satisfied. Perhaps if I had wed a handsome knight like you.’ A twist of bitterness curved her lips.

‘Your husband is a man of great worth.’

‘Yes. I know.’

‘His writing brings him great fame.’

‘True.’

‘You have your children.’

‘And they are a blessing. But I’ll have no more.’

I paused, considering whether to ask why she was so adamant, and decided against it. ‘Geoffrey cares for you,’ I observed instead.

‘Geoffrey is entirely indifferent to me. He has never written a poem to my beauty or my fine eyes. All he does is condemn what he calls the entrapment of marriage.’

I laughed.

‘Don’t laugh! Do you know? He owns over sixty books. He’d rather spend time with them than with me.’ She chuckled as I continued to laugh at her complaint but there was a sadness there that touched my heart. ‘I am just dissatisfied. It will be better at Hertford.’ She rose and walked to the window to look out over the Thames. ‘What about you, Kate? Do you have an eye to another husband?’

‘I have only been a widow for a matter of months.’

‘A lover then.’

‘Philippa!’

‘You’re too pious for your own good. You had not seen Hugh for—how long before his death?’

‘Sixteen months. And I am not pious.’

‘I know you better than you know yourself. You would have to say a full decade of paternosters before leaping into a lover’s bed.’

‘I would not!’

But I would, as I knew only too well, as I was thrown into a puddle of doubt. My conscience was a strong force within me, and sin was not something to be lightly cast aside, as I was finding to my cost when all my strictly held tenets of living seemed to be hanging by a thread in the face of the Duke’s campaign. If I took this step to please him, if I went to him when he summoned me, the thread would be cut as cleanly as if I were finishing the edge of a girdle. I could not hold to any pretence that it would not matter. It would. If I stepped, I must accept the guilt and the condemnation.

‘Katherine.’ Philippa nudged me. ‘Where were you?’

‘Nowhere.’ I knew my cheeks were flushed. ‘You were saying?’

‘That I could take a lover…’ Philippa mused.

‘Geoffrey might mind.’

‘Geoffrey might not even notice. So, have you set your eye on anyone?’

Another diversionary tactic was needed. ‘Speaking of Geoffrey, does he talk to you about court matters?’

‘Sometimes. Why?’

‘I’m interested in the Duke’s ambitions. He’s now addressed as Monseigneur d’Espaigne. Does he truly seek the crown of Castile?’

Does he love the Queen? That is what I wanted to know. Has he wed for love, as he wed Blanche, for the passion that was between them? Or was Constanza a pawn in a foreign alliance, a means to a political end because he saw the crown of Castile as a jewel on his horizon?

‘Geoffrey thinks so,’ Philippa replied carelessly. ‘The Duke has ambitions. It has always been so for him, to seek power. It was once mooted that he become King of Scotland. Now it’s Castile. A chance for a kingdom of his own.’ She shrugged, displaying her own lack of interest. ‘He’s an ambitious man. It’s no surprise. Why are you so interested?’

‘I am not.’

‘Well, he would not remain unwed for long, would he? He only has one son to step into his shoes. Perhaps he fell in love. Love at first sight.’

‘Perhaps he did.’

It confirmed only what I had thought.

‘Geoffrey says he gave her a magnificent wedding gift. A gold cup fashioned as a rose with a white dove on the lid. Sounds like a lover’s gift to me.’

So it did to me. Which made everything so much worse. His invitation to me was the prelude to a mere dalliance, and I would not comply.

You will not comply anyway! My conscience lectured.

‘And she is strikingly beautiful, I hear. Enough to entrap the heart of any man.’

‘Yes, she is.’

Philippa had convinced me.

‘Enough of Constanza.’ Philippa stood, looking round appreciatively at the spacious accommodation reserved for me. ‘Do I share this room with you, or do I have a Castilian damsel to entertain? Let us go and discover, and find my children. By the by, I have been granted an annuity of ten pounds by the Duke in token of my service.’ The slide of her eye was piercing. ‘It’s good to be appreciated. What are you paid? Are you worth more than I?’

I shook my head, quick to lie. How easily half-truths and deceptions leaped to my lips these days. ‘How could I be?’

Another confession that I must make. I was relieved I had packed away the rosary. I would not have liked to explain that gift to her.




Chapter Five

It was cold enough to turn the Thames to ice.