Seth felt numb and wondered when the hell he’d wake up. This could not be real. His brain was not accepting that this was really happening. He knew his voice sounded soft and weak, emotional shock creeping in. “What are you asking me, dude?”

“I want you to come over for dinner tomorrow night. Don’t call Leah. Just show up at seven. I need to talk to her and break the news to her and tell her what I want to do. I don’t want your answer tonight. I want you to seriously think about this. I want you to move in with us. You can go to school and finish your degree, and I’ll teach you what you need to know to take care of her.” Kaden reached out and grabbed Seth’s arm, his grip almost painfully firm. “Please. I need you to seriously think about this for me.”

This was too much for Seth to process at one time. “You’re dropping the bomb on me that you’re dying, and now you’re asking me to, what, fucking beat your wife for you after you die? Are you shitting me?” Not only couldn’t he grasp that Kaden was dying, he couldn’t process that his respectable, successful, soft-spoken and kind-hearted friend of forty years had a secret life Seth knew nothing about.

Kaden vigorously shook his head. “It’s not like that at all. There’s a lot of stuff I can’t tell you unless you promise to help us because it’s personal between me and Leah. And there’s some stuff you won’t understand unless you see it in person. It’s not like the bullshit you see on the Internet. I mean, yeah, some people are into that, but it’s not like that for us. We’re twenty-four/seven. We live this. We’re happy living like this.”

Kaden took a deep breath. “Leah’s healed because of it. But she needs things, Seth. She’s always going to need certain things. I’m worried that when I’m gone, if she goes looking to others who don’t know her, who don’t care about her, it’ll hurt her and put her back in that bad place emotionally where she could have died. If she doesn’t kill herself to start with.”

Kaden released Seth’s arm. “I’m also a teacher. Those weekend seminars we go to? I do a lot of instructional stuff. I teach shibari.”

Alternate dimension. That was it. He’d fallen through a fucking wormhole. “Shi-what?”

“Shibari. Japanese rope bondage.” Kaden took another drink. “And a few whip classes. Please. Come to dinner tomorrow night. I can explain it better then. Show you. I’ve never asked you for anything before, man. I need you. We need you. Please.”

Seth felt a wave of guilt. No, Kaden had never asked him for anything before. Ever. Kaden, however, had yanked his ass out of the fire more times than he cared to remember.

He thought about it for a long moment. “Okay. I’ll come to dinner, but I can’t promise you I’ll tell you yes. I don’t even know what you want me to do.” Hell, he couldn’t even promise he’d be sober after this bombshell.

Hope lit Kade’s face. “That’s all I’m asking for, just to hear me out.”

“You don’t know Leah will go for this.”

“She will. Trust me, she will.”

Chapter Two

Seth finished his evening back at his brother’s house, alone in his room, with a few shots of tequila. When he awoke the next morning, hungover and blurry eyed, the prior evening’s discussion with Kaden rushed back to him.

He closed his eyes and prayed he’d go back to sleep. A nightmare was preferable to thinking about his best friend dying.

Fuck.

Dinner.

Seth stumbled through his day, changing his mind about going at least once every five minutes. He barely made it through his morning classes and was glad that at least today he didn’t have any labs.

Kaden and Leah had been his two biggest supporters when he decided to go back to college and get his nursing degree. After the Army he’d spent years in construction, but with the housing bust that was far from a great occupation. After the divorce from hell-bitch number three, he’d decided why not make a clean break in all ways? His credit wasn’t totally fucked, so at least he’d been able to get a good student loan and a couple of grants for tuition. He’d had medic training in the Army and enjoyed helping people. Besides, it was one of the few occupations where demand constantly exceeded supply, especially in Florida.

At six o’clock, Seth took a deep breath and stepped into the shower. A steady diet of Tylenol and ginger tea all day had finally eased the worst of his hangover.

The bombshell pressed into his mind every few minutes. He’d be thinking about his classes, trying to run through things in his mind, then suddenly the thought.

Kaden’s dying.

Trying to memorize something.

Kaden’s dying.

Like a horrific heartbeat in his brain.

Kaden’s dying.

What the fuck would he do without his best friend? He was closer to Kaden than he was to his own brother. Emotionally, at least. He knew Leah hadn’t liked any of his three exes. Neither had Kaden, but they’d done their best to include the women into their close triad of friendship, welcomed them in.

How many times over the years had he wished he could find someone like Leah?

He wasn’t excusing his own behavior. His first doomed marriage—Kelly—was, in retrospect, an attempt to find another Leah. She’d been the spitting image of his best friend’s wife. Even Leah gently teased him about it in private.

Paula was a money-grubbing bitch who was more interested in how high Seth could raise her credit card limit.

Then, of course, there was Jackie. She’d sworn for richer or poorer, but when he told her he might have to file corporate bankruptcy because of the housing market tanking and his business going under, she’d taken off like a scalded cat.

Seth closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool shower tile.

Kaden’s dying.

Fuck.

He’d fought the urge—and lost—to look up pancreatic cancer at the university library between classes. After five minutes of reading he closed the book and shoved it back onto the shelf.

No, Kaden wouldn’t want to go out like his father had, wasting away in a hospital bed, sick for months before that from chemo and weakened by surgery to try to remove the tumors on his lungs.

As Kaden’s friend, after sitting on the sidelines and watching it unfold, Seth couldn’t blame him either.

Seth dug a pair of khaki slacks out of his closet and found a button-up shirt that didn’t need ironing. Normally he would just wear shorts and a T-shirt. Tonight was different.

He wasn’t sure what Kaden was asking of him. The knowledge that his best friends had this secret life for decades still shocked him. They were so…

Normal.

Kaden was a successful corporate lawyer, for chrissake. Leah didn’t work, but she volunteered tirelessly for a couple of charities and nonprofits. Hell, when they went swimming in their pool she wore a one-piece bathing suit. He’d never seen her in anything racier than a sports bra and jogging shorts.

It’d shocked him several years ago when he’d seen a tattoo on Kaden’s arm, circling his left bicep, an intricate vine pattern highlighting a small, round symbol of some sort. Kaden with a tattoo?

That was almost as shocking as seeing Santa in a lace bra and panties.

At the time, when Seth asked about it, Kaden had smiled and shrugged, said Leah liked it, and left it at that.

Seth sat in his car outside his brother’s house, simultaneously trying to talk himself into and out of dinner. If he didn’t go, maybe that would mean this wasn’t real.

But he’d promised.

Over the years, Kaden and Leah had been better to him than he could have ever asked. They’d never asked for or expected anything in return.

Ever.

Was he really going to pull the chickenshit move now that Kaden was finally making a request of him?

Just to hear him out.

He pounded the steering wheel, which set off another round of throbbing in his iffy head.

Kaden’s dying.

He didn’t handle death well. Not his own grandparents or parents. And this was Kaden.

He started his car and pointed it toward Kaden’s house.

* * *

At the front gate, Seth punched in the code he knew by heart and drove in. The small, luxury-gated estate community was comprised of large, wooded lots of over five acres each. It was hard to believe there were fifty homes in the development. He’d built some of them, including Kaden’s. Kaden and Leah’s home sat far enough off the road you could barely make out the lights through the trees.

He parked his beat-up Mustang behind Leah’s Lexus sedan. Kaden’s new Ridgeline was parked to the side.

They’d never lorded their wealth over him. He’d never asked Kaden for money even though there were times Kaden hinted to him that if he needed a hand he’d help him out.

It was the last thing Seth wanted to do, ever, to bring money into their friendship. Even when Leah begged him to handle building their house he’d reduced the final price, not wanting to make a profit off his friends. Kaden had nailed him on that, too, asking why the cost was lower than the others he’d built and wanting to pay full price. Seth had refused to let him do that.

He’d managed to make it on his own and would keep figuring it out somehow. He’d asked Kaden for help with plenty of things over the years, but money was never one of them. And never would be.

The silence as he shut off the engine nearly deafened him and allowed the mental heartbeat to return.