"How did we get on this subject?" Zoe asked, lifting her hands in exasperation. "I don't want to talk about this."
"You never do," Delia murmured.
"I am a coward," Zoe told Socks when she was alone, snuggling him closer. "But God help me, I have no idea what to do. How do I tell him how I feel when I'm not even sure I know?"
But deep down, she knew that was a lie. She knew how she felt, she was just too afraid to admit it.
Triple M began to show promise. A few reservations trickled in for fall. Just enough to generate excitement and rejuvenate energies.
No one, least of all Zoe, was able to predict success, and everyone's pocket was stretched to the limit, even Ty's. Still, the feeling of such pride was immeasurable.
Ty was thankful for the long, busy, tireless days. It gave him something to do other than think.
But the truth was, he had finally come to terms with Ben's death, and he knew Ben would be happy with what Ty was doing for Triple M. The loss still hurt, but the mountains, the clear air, the utter peace the wilds gave him worked like a healing balm.
So did Zoe.
He wasn't sure why that was, when for every step he took forward, she shoved them back three, but he just accepted the fact. Zoe had changed his life. For the better.
He was on his horse, checking and retracing one of the day paths they intended to use for guests, when he came upon her. It surprised him, for she was on one of the horses they'd purchased, and she was by herself. A beginner, she'd taken to the saddle the way she took to everything. With utter concentration and conviction. She didn't ride often, she didn't have the time, but he hoped that would change simply because he loved the expression on her face right now. The quiet peace he saw there gave him hope.
Maybe he wasn't the only one the wilds of Idaho had helped to heal.
"You look good up there," he said, and she did, with her hair free and cheeks red from the outdoors. "Like you belong."
"It feels good," she admitted. Beneath her, Misty shifted, impatient to run. Just a moment before that impatience had been her own. She'd wanted to race into the hills, where the wildflowers lined the winding trails through deep woods, along spongy marshes and sagebrush flats. She'd wanted to go and never stop, until she could laugh aloud with the freedom of it all and not be heard.
"Are you happy?"
Ty's sudden question surprised her; the seriousness in his voice did not. He had a hat on today. His dark hair was getting long, his face tanned from the long summer days. He sat in the saddle as if he'd been born there, his broad shoulders relaxed, the reins light in his hand, looking like a man well fitted to his life. To her life.
He was a part of her, she realized with some surprise. She'd spent some part of every single day with him for months. He could make her laugh, he could make her cry. He could make her angry.
And he could make her weak with just one, dark, hungry look that tugged at something so elementary, so deep, she couldn't define it.
Truth was, he made her feel, and she could no longer envision her life without him in it. "I am happy here," she admitted, a little unnerved by her realization. I'm happy when I'm with you.
He shook his head. Sliding off his horse, he came closer, reaching up a hand so that she had no choice but to get down as well.
When they were face-to-face, with him still holding on to one of her hands, he said, "That's not what I asked. Are you happy, Zoe?"
Around them, birds chirped and insects hummed. The trees blew in the slight breeze. Far above, majestic mountain peaks framed their valley, outlining their home. Staking their territory. It was easy, enjoyable, unspoiled, uncrowded, unhurried. Perfect.
It should be a simple thing, happiness. "I'm…" She blew out a breath, confused.
"You don't know, do you." He considered her with a tilted head and warm eyes. "Or maybe you don't even recognize it."
"Maybe I'm afraid to admit it."
He was startled briefly at her honestly. "It's okay, you know," he said. "You do deserve it, Zoe. Just reach out and grab it." His smile encouraged her. "No one else can do it for you but you." He touched her face, just a light, barely there touch, and Zoe found herself turning her cheek into his callused palm.
She sighed. "I'm happy right now."
His smile was slow in the coming, but worth the wait. Wide and sexy, his lips curved, his eyes smoldered. "What would make you happy all the time?"
"To know who I am."
She could see both compassion and temper mingle in his eyes. "You're Zoe Martin. You're a rancher in Idaho, a woman who loves her sisters. It's that simple."
"It's not," she argued, wishing it were. "I want to belong, and I know that's pathetic, but that's how I feel. I want the truth."
"The truth is right in front of your nose. No one is ever going to make you leave. I'd give you my last penny before that happened."
"I don't want your last penny! I want a birthright."
His eyes softened. "Your life starts now, Zoe, with each passing second." He gave her an endearing grin. "See? Just wasted two of them."
He was something. And he made her laugh. No man had ever done that before. "What do you see in me?" she wondered, amazed that this man could want her.
"Are you kidding?" He seemed stunned at the question. "From the beginning, I knew. I took one look at you that night on the porch. You were terrified then, lost and afraid and in a new place that wasn't half of what you'd expected, but hell if you'd let any of that show. You were so brave." He smiled fondly. "I saw an incredible woman I couldn't take my eyes off of. Your pride, your passion, your everything drew me like a moth to a flame, and I've been getting burned ever since." He let out a little laugh. "Don't you see? You stopped me in my tracks, brought me out of my too-driven goals. Reminded me as I haven't been reminded since Ben was alive that there is so much more to life than work, work, work. I'd gotten locked into that, trying to live my life for a dream that wasn't even mine."
"But Ben wanted-"
"My dreams are different from Ben's. It took me a while, but now I know that he would hate for me to be living my life for him." He reached for her. "I have to live it for me, Zoe. You taught me that, watching your joy over this place, watching you come alive… that's what showed me."
He meant it, she realized with surprise and hope and fear. He meant every word. And she understood that he meant it because she felt the same way.
"There can be no one else for me," he told her, his eyes steady and sure as he drew her closer. "No one but you, but until you realize and believe that, it does me no good."
Heart racing, she stared at him, absorbing the first verbal commitment she'd ever heard from him. "You… want me. Just me?"
"Hell, yes!" His fingers plowed into his hair, leaving it standing up in little spikes that should have been comic. Instead he looked fierce and wild and as if he could devour her on the spot.
Being devoured didn't seem such a bad thing, but before she could figure out how to make that move, another horse came up the trail. It was ridden by Maddie, and from the look in her eyes, Zoe knew it was going to be bad.
She dismounted and came immediately to Zoe, took her hands and stared into her eyes, her own filled with tears.
"Maddie, you're scaring me," Zoe said urgently. "What is it? Delia?"
"No. Zoe, honey… we just heard from Cade." She looked at Ty and some unspoken communication passed between them. Clearly Maddie decided Ty should stay. That or she figured it would be impossible to get him to go.
"Cade wanted to talk to you," Maddie said. "He's leaving for here now, but I think this will be… easier coming from me."
Zoe's legs felt weak. Maddie never overreacted. Never. "God, Maddie, what? What is it?"
Ty slipped an arm around her waist, silently offering her his support for which she was grateful when Maddie spoke.
"It's your parents, Zoe. Cade finally located them. The files were opened by the judge and Cade was able to trace an old address down."
Relief, fear, anger and then more fear ricocheted through her. Cade had found them. After so many years she could contact them if she chose and… God. Why had she wanted so badly to find her mother? Obviously the woman wanted nothing to do with her. How pathetic that she'd spent so much time and energy. Pathetic and asinine and stupid.
"She's dead, Zoe. Oh, honey, I'm sorry. But your mother has been gone since the week after she left you at the home. She died from an aneurysm in Arizona, which was why Cade couldn't locate her. She was staying in a hotel where your father had once worked, and when she died, no one knew about you."
It seemed to Zoe that her world stopped. Abruptly. The buzzing insects went silent. The birds went quiet Even the air stopped moving.
Her mother was dead.
She'd not been purposely deserted.
These realizations hit her at once. She'd spent so many years wasted on regrets and fears, all of it useless.
Maddie's anguish was clear. "Your father's name was Brian Willis."
Brian Willis. Both Ty and Maddie looked at her while she absorbed this. The name meant nothing, no matter how hard she strained to remember.
"He died only weeks before you were born, Zoe," Maddie said. "He was killed in a car accident."
The truth sunk in. They were both gone, both of her parents.
"According to what Cade learned from the owner of the hotel, your mother loved your father madly."
"The owner remembered?"
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