Jack was still stunned. His mother? Another man? “Who?”

“I’m not going to tell you because that information is not relevant to this discussion. And Wyatt doesn’t know yet, so you have to keep this to yourself. I plan on telling him, but not until after he finishes college.”

He didn’t know what to think. He wasn’t angry that she’d been with someone else. Her husband had walked out on her without warning. She deserved some happiness, however she found it. He frowned, realizing he didn’t know anything about his mother’s personal life. For all he knew, she’d had dozens of lovers over the years. But she’d always been discreet.

Hattie leaned toward him and rested her hand on his arm. “You’re not your father,” she said intently. “I know you’re afraid because you think you could be just like him.”

“Was there any warning?” he asked. “Did he hint he was thinking about leaving?”

She hesitated. “I want to lie and tell you that I’d suspected it for a long time, but the truth is, I was as shocked as you kids were. He seemed fine and then one day he was gone.” She squeezed his arm. “But that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you, Jack. We all have choices. Russell chose to walk away from all of this. He deliberately turned his back on his family. You can choose to do differently. You are an honorable man. So stop worrying about your father and concentrate on yourself. Do what makes you happy. If you ever get the urge to run, don’t.”

“You make it sound simple,” he said, wishing it were that easy.

“It can be. It’s your choice.”

But it didn’t feel like his choice. At times it had been all he could do to stay on the ranch. Especially in the first few years. The unknown had called to him, and he’d wanted to take off, leave all this behind. Over time he’d learned to make peace with his circumstances, but what if the past called to him again? How would he resist?

Besides, there was more at stake than just himself. If he allowed himself to think about a future with Katie and Shane, then there would be three lives at stake-not just his. Four if she was pregnant. God, he couldn’t think about that now. But what if she was? What if they were going to have a child together? He didn’t want to let them down and he wasn’t sure he could promise he wouldn’t.

“I need to know why he did it,” Jack said.

“You’ll never have that answer. You have to let it go. You have to make peace with your past and then shut the door.”

Jack didn’t believe her. He knew that if he could talk to Russell and find out why, then he could avoid whatever set of circumstances it was that had driven his father away. Without that information, the only safe route was to hold himself back. If he didn’t get involved, he couldn’t hurt anyone.

“Don’t lose your future because of something your father did,” Hattie said. “Have a little faith in yourself.”

“What if it’s not just about me?”

She smiled. “Have a little faith in them, too. Trust them to love you enough to keep you where you belong.”

“You loved Dad enough, and he still left.”

Her smile faded. “Okay. But you’re not Russell. Don’t let the past, either his or yours, keep you from letting someone in your life.”

Jack stood. They were arguing in circles. “I need to check on the horses,” he said and walked out of the kitchen. He’d been searching for answers, but there weren’t any. At least not any he could find.

As he stepped into the night, he glanced back at the house. Light shone from Shane’s bedroom window. Katie was in there with him. Jack pictured her bending over the desk, helping her son with his homework. The image made him ache inside. He wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to belong, have a family, make a life. Love and be loved. But he couldn’t trust himself not to destroy her the way he’d been destroyed. So he turned and walked into the darkness.

The following Saturday Jack and Katie went for a ride. It had rained the previous afternoon, but the morning had dawned warm and dry. Katie smiled as Socks made his way over flat terrain.

“I could do this forever,” she said, wishing the ride never had to end.

“I don’t think so. You’d miss Shane.” Jack drew his horse closer to hers. “Next time we should bring him with us.”

She laughed. “Perfect. Then we can ride away and not worry about ever coming back.”

Jack raised his eyebrows. “Is that what you really want? To escape?”

“Sometimes.” She looked at him and shrugged. “Not now, when I’m having a good time and everything is peaceful. But at other times, when it’s crazy and I don’t have the answers, I absolutely fantasize about running away. Doesn’t everyone?”

Jack looked surprised by her question. But instead of answering, he pointed to an oil pump moving up and down steadily. “Not the prettiest sight on a ranch, but I’m getting used to them.”

“Who wouldn’t? From the number of them I’ve seen around the ranch I’m going to guess that oil is bringing in a lot more money than cattle.”

“True, but I’ll always be a rancher.” He reined in his horse and looked at the horizon. “Still, the money’s been great. It’s paid for all the changes. Modernization doesn’t come cheap. In addition to fixing up the house and the ranch buildings, I’m improving the stock. There are two new bulls and nearly a dozen heifers upgrading the herd.”

Katie stopped beside him, studying him rather than the land. So much had changed, she thought. Fortunes, people, yet the ranches were constant. “Are you glad you stayed?” she asked.

He turned to face her. “I wasn’t at the time. When I was eighteen all I wanted was to leave. But I’ve made peace with the Darby ranch. This is where I belong.”

She turned to the west. The Fitzgerald ranch was too far away to see, but she knew it was there. “My father belongs here, too, but he’s never made peace with anything.” She sighed. “Suzanne called this morning to give me an update on Josie. I could hear Aaron in the background. He was yelling about Josie’s decision to stay in Los Angeles. He wanted to fly her to Dallas so that she would be close enough for everyone to visit.”

“If anyone can stand up to him from her sickbed, it’s your sister.”

Katie nodded. Josie had always been a fighter, especially where Aaron was concerned. She would go toe-to-toe with him and not flinch. “He’s being as stubborn as always. He refuses to see her side of things. L.A. is her home now, and it makes sense she wants to be there.” What she wouldn’t admit to Jack was her suspicion that one of the reasons Josie wanted to be on the west coast was to be away from her father.

“Aaron has his ways,” Jack agreed. “I don’t understand him, but then I don’t have to. We stay out of each other’s way, and that works for us.”

He urged his horse into a walk, and her mount followed. She watched the play of sunlight on Socks’s smooth coat and thought about all the times she and Jack had snuck away to meet for an afternoon. How she’d been afraid of what her father would say if he found out and how Jack had always sworn to protect her. She’d believed him then and she still believed him.

“You’re a good man,” she said impulsively. “Nothing like my father, which isn’t saying all that much, but for which I’m grateful. In some ways, you’re the best man I’ve ever known.”

He shifted uncomfortably on the saddle. “Don’t say that. I’m not who you think.”

“Oh, really? Then tell me who you are.”

She half expected him to refuse to answer, but he surprised her by speaking.

“I’m a man who tries to do the right thing,” he said slowly. “I don’t always succeed. I worry about my family and the future. I try to plan for emergencies. I want-” He hesitated.

“What do you want?” she asked softly. “Tell me, please.”

He looked at her, then turned to face front. “I want to be my own man. Not my father’s son or just another in a long line of Darbys.”

“Aren’t you that now?”

“I don’t know. My mom says I should let the past go, but I have too many questions.”

“Do you think you’ll ever get them answered?”

“No.”

“So what are you going to do?” she asked.

“Hang on tight and hope for the best.”

She knew about the will of iron that kept him in control. She’d seen it in action. “If you hang on too tight, sometimes things get broken. If you don’t let go sometimes, the bad stuff can’t get out and the good stuff can’t get in.”

He shifted his horse so he was facing her. They stopped on the trail. His dark eyes studied her face. “What do you want from me, Katie? What do you from us?”

Blood rushed through her, making her feel lightheaded. “Is there an us?”

“I don’t know. You said we had a relationship.” He lowered his gaze to her belly. “Are you pregnant?”

She winced. “I don’t want anything dependent on whether or not I’m going to have a baby.” She wanted him, but only if he wanted to be with her. She wasn’t interested in duty-only love. “Can’t this be just about us?”

“If you’re pregnant, it’s not about us. It’s about the baby, too.”

Which is exactly what she didn’t want to hear. “I don’t know,” she told him. “My period is a couple of days late, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m often late.”

“You’ll let me know when you’re sure one way or the other?”

She nodded. Tears burned in her eyes, but she held them back. She wasn’t about to let him see her cry again. Damn the man for being so stubborn.

“If you’re pregnant, we’ll work it out,” he said. “I’ll be there for you.”

“And if I’m not?” A foolish question when she already knew the answer.

“Then you won’t need me.”

Katie nodded, even though she knew that he couldn’t be more wrong in his assessment. She would always need him. He was the man in possession of her heart. Her one true love. And if she wasn’t pregnant, she was going to lose him.