“Hopefully, by then, you'll be getting yours too.” Zoe gave it right back to her and they all laughed.

“God, we're all a mess, aren't we?” Mary Stuart shook her head as she assessed them, but the truth was, they knew they weren't. They had all had good lives, but hard ones, enormous advantages and tremendous pains, they had paid high prices for all the blessings they had had, and now was no different. Each one of them had to leap through a hoop of fire in some way, to get what they wanted.

“Actually, I think we're pretty great,” Tanya said, looking at her two best friends with pride. “And I love you both, just in case you want to hear it.”

“Ahhh… the postcoital haze of love for mankind…” Mary Stuart said, and Tanya hit her with the pillow again.

“You're disgusting,” Tanya said, still laughing, and then she looked at her friends again, wanting to share at least something with them. She could hardly stand it. “I'm in love with him,” she said, glancing from one to the other and they both laughed, but Zoe answered.

“No kidding,” she said. “We figured that out.”

“I don't mean, I'm just lusting for him, I mean I love him.” They were both quiet then, as they watched her, and Mary Stuart spoke to her gently.

“Your life is awfully complicated, Tan. Make sure he can make it better for you instead of worse. Make sure he can handle it before you leap off the cliff hand in hand.”

“I will,” Tanya said, but it was Gordon who was being truly careful. “He's scared to death of all that. He's smart that way.”

“I'm glad,” Mary Stuart said, and then told them the plan she'd made with Hartley. “I'm going to London.”

“Back to Bill?” Tanya looked startled, wondering what had happened in her absence.

“No, just to talk to him,” Mary Stuart explained. “I was going to wait until the end of the summer, but I don't want to. I guess I knew what I wanted to do when I left New York. There's really no point waiting.”

“Are you sure?” Tanya asked her quietly. They were all making such enormous decisions.

“Very much so.”

“Does he know you're coming?”

Mary Stuart shook her head in answer. “I thought I'd call him in a few days.”

“What if he tells you not to come?”

“I'm not giving him the option,” she said simply. “Those days are over.”

“Amen,” Zoe said, always the independent spirit among them.

“How's Sam?” Tanya asked as she went to get dressed.

“Still crazy,” Zoe said with a broad smile, and then she told them she was going into town that afternoon to see some of John Kroner's patients.

“I thought you were supposed to be on vacation,” Mary Stuart scolded.

“It's no big deal. I'd really like to do it.”

“When are you going in?” Tanya asked with interest.

“I thought I'd ride this morning, have lunch with all of you, and then go into town. Charlotte Collins said someone could give me a ride.”

“I'll take you on the bus, I want to go into town myself this afternoon to do some errands.” She asked Mary Stuart if she wanted to go into town too, but she said she wanted to stay with Hartley. And with that, they all went to get ready. It was almost like getting dressed for classes every morning, and they reached the stable looking bright and fresh-faced a little over an hour later, after breakfast. Gordon was disappointed to hear that Tanya had other plans that afternoon. She said she had to go into town with Zoe.

“Will you come back to the cabin tonight?” he asked, looking like a kid, as they rode ahead of the others.

“If you'll have me,” she said, and they exchanged a look that would have been worth millions to the tabloids.

“I love you,” he whispered, and she answered him, and then they loped across the field side by side in total harmony. It was as though in the past day and a half their souls had been welded together. She felt bonded to him, and he would have followed her to the ends of the earth, anywhere except LA., she teased him, as they headed back to the others.

“I told you, I'll come for a visit.”

“When?” she asked, pinning him down, knowing how busy she'd be for the next month. But he explained that he couldn't leave the ranch now for more than one day a week till the end of August.

“When can you come back here?” he asked, more to the point, but she didn't have much spare time either. She ran through her commitments in her head, and figured out that she had a free week at the beginning of August.

“I could be back in three weeks,” she said, and he nodded as Hartley joined them. The doctors from Chicago had left that weekend, as had Benjamin and his parents.

“That seems like forever,” Gordon whispered to her before Hartley could hear them. But it did to her too. But there was nothing she could do for the moment. She had free time again in September, and he could come back to L.A. with her. It was going to be interesting. Commuting to Moose, Wyoming.

“It's beautiful today, isn't it?” Hartley said, looking up at a Wedgwood sky as Gordon and Tanya grinned at each other and nodded.

They had a good ride till noon, and then went in to lunch, but Gordon didn't join them. His horse had thrown a shoe, and he had paperwork to take care of. New guests had come in the day before, and although he didn't have to ride with them, since he was already assigned to Tanya's group, he still had to make sure that the other wranglers were doing their jobs and there were no problems with the horses. In the end, it was just as well that Tanya was busy that afternoon, since two women from New York fell off their horses during a loping lesson in the corral, and he had to take a mare to the vet that had sprained her ankle.

Tanya dropped Zoe off at the hospital that afternoon, and John Kroner was waiting for her, and then she went off to do her errand. She had made an appointment that morning. And it worked out perfectly. Everything was taken care of in time for her to get some shopping done too. She bought a pair of turquoise cowboy boots, and picked Zoe up in plenty of time to get back to the ranch for dinner. They were waiting for her outside when Tom pulled up in the bus, and John Kroner waved when they left. Zoe looked tired, but pleased, as she lay down on the couch across from Tanya.

“How was it?” Tanya asked with a warm smile.

“Interesting. He has some very nice patients,” Zoe said, and they had been so grateful to meet her. It was almost embarrassing, and the staff had made a huge fuss over her. But she had really gotten to like John Kroner. She had invited him to join them for dinner one night with his friend. He was a radiologist and had moved to Jackson Hole the previous year from Denver. They were nice young guys, and had both been extremely kind to Zoe. “I really like him.”

“Is this competition for Sam?” Tanya raised an eyebrow at her, “or is he too young for us?” she teased her old friend, and Zoe laughed at her assumption.

“Neither, you dolt, he's gay, or hadn't you noticed?”

“Actually,” Tanya looked at her thoughtfully, “I hadn't. Oh, well. You've got Sam. What more do you want?” She was in great spirits, and Zoe laughed at her as they rode back to the ranch.

“You're hopeless. What did you do today?”

“Just some errands and stuff.” The shops were great and they had all bought suedes and leathers and cowboy hats on their previous excursions. “I got some great turquoise cowboy boots.”

“I'm sure they'll look great at Spago. You've been here too long. I did that once in Aspen. Knee-high pink cowboy boots that I somehow convinced myself would look great at the hospital. I still have them, brand-new, never worn, in the back of my closet.” The two of them chatted and laughed all the way back to the ranch, and when they arrived, Hartley and Mary Stuart were having a quiet conversation in the cabin. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about, and it was obvious when the other two came in, that the couple had been kissing. It was like interrupting teenagers making out on the couch, and Mary Stuart blushed at a raised eyebrow from Tanya.

“Stop that!” she said under her breath to Tanya as she went to get Hartley a Coca-Cola.

“What did I do?” Tanya said, feigning innocence, but they were all like kids again, and it felt terrific. It was a much-needed counterpoint to the far too serious traumas of their lives, from suicide to divorce to AIDS to tabloids. And a little teasing and fun and romance between them was not only harmless but therapeutic.

“What are we doing tonight?” Zoe asked as she sat down, tired after an afternoon of seeing patients, but exhilarated by her conversation with John Kroner. “Tango lessons? Snake dance? Anything exciting going on?” The ranch provided a fair amount of entertainment, although Tanya and her friends didn't always join in, mostly so Tanya could keep her distance.

“I think it's just regular dinner,” Mary Stuart explained, and then glanced at Tanya. It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. “Will you be joining us tonight, Ms. Thomas?”

“Of course,” Tanya said innocently. “Why wouldn't I?”

“Would you like me to answer that?” Mary Stuart grinned wickedly and Tanya looked prim.

“No, thank you.” She was leaving them after dinner to join Gordon, but they didn't know that.

They had a pleasant dinner, the four of them, and Zoe went to bed early after her busy afternoon. Hartley and Mary Stuart decided to go into town for a movie, and by eight o'clock, Tanya was walking down the road to the corral in her old yellow cowboy boots, and her blue jeans and a big white sweater. She thought she could smell smoke in the air, and wondered if someone was having a cookout.

She had thought to put a cowboy hat on so no one would see her face quite so easily, and when she got to his door, she knocked once and slipped inside. She didn't want to hang around outside the cabin. And he was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and waiting for her.