“Listen, kid, this is serious. One of us could hit a jackpot. Just don't tell Tony,” Tanya said and winked. She was still amazed at how quickly he could leave her life, and how totally all feelings between them had been canceled. It was as if he had hardly known her. And he was making her so angry these days, that she didn't even miss him. Now and then, she had a flash of nostalgia for him, remembering something they did, but in a minute, remembering the rest, it was over. It had been a mistake, a marriage that should have been an affair. It hurt, but not as much as she had feared when he left her, and that surprised her. She wondered if she was getting callous, or if it had never been what she pretended. It was very strange watching the whole relationship recede into the mists as though it had never existed. The only thing she missed now were his children.

They got off the bus, with Tom watching them, and Tanya told him they'd be fine. He should go relax, gamble, sleep, do whatever he wanted. And he went inside to check in and have dinner. And with that, Tanya and Mary Stuart hurried inside to change two fifty-dollar bills into quarters, and they put the money in a bucket. They had a great time playing the quarter slot machines, making a dollar back here and there, and staring at the people. There were lots of women with blue hair wearing large polyester tops in assorted floral patterns and pastel colors. Most of them had cigarettes hanging from their lips, and the men were playing blackjack and drinking. There were men playing the slot machines too, but there were more women at the slot machines, while the men preferred the poker and blackjack tables. And as Tanya clapped her hands when ten quarters came back to her, a man playing a nearby machine grinned at her, and a minute later, he sidled over. He had long thin legs and no hips, and his jeans seemed to be sliding south. He had a two-day stubble on his face, and rough hands, and he was wearing a cowboy hat not unlike Tanya's.

“How much did you win?” he asked conversationally, and Mary Stuart glanced nervously at Tanya. She was not anxious to get picked up by a drunk in Winnemucca.

“Couple of bucks,” she said, ignoring him and frowning, pretending to be intent on the two machines she was playing.

“People ever tell you, you look just like Tanya Thomas, except you're taller and younger.”

“Yeah, thanks,” she said, never looking him in the eye. Cher had told her that once, that if you never make eye contact they don't recognize you. Sometimes it worked for her, and other times it didn't She was hoping it would this time. “People tell me that all the time. I think she's real short though,”

“That's what I said. You're taller. She's good though. You like her singing?”

“She's all right,” Tanya said, slipping into her old Texas drawl, and Mary Stuart tried to keep from laughing. “The stuff she sings is kind of dumb though.” She was really pushing it, and she looked unconcerned as she went on playing.

“Naaw, she's good,” he argued with her, “I really like her.” Tanya shrugged, and a few minutes later he went over to the blackjack table and sat down, and Mary Stuart leaned over and whispered.

“You've got a lot of balls,” she said with a broad grin, and Tanya laughed at her and won a twenty-dollar jackpot. So far, between the two of them, they were just about breaking even. They had agreed on the bus that when they lost the hundred dollars, it was over. They would go on however long it lasted.

“That's the only way to do it,” Tanya giggled, and a little while later she heard some woman say, “Look, that's Tanya Thomas,” but the man who had talked to her said she just looked like her, and was a lot taller, and the woman who had spotted her agreed immediately, and nothing happened. “And younger,” Tanya added under her breath, as Mary Stuart pushed her. They were down about fifty dollars by then. And at ten o'clock they walked into the restaurant for a hamburger, and she saw several people stare at them, but Tanya pretended not to notice. The waitress was particularly intent on watching them, but she wasn't quite sure, and she didn't dare ask, and they actually got to eat a meal in peace, which was rare for Tanya. And then they went back to the slot machines till nearly midnight. In the end, they had forty dollars left and split it between them.

“Wow! We won forty dollars,” Mary Stuart said happily, as they locked the door of the bus behind them.

“No, dummy.” Tanya laughed at her. “We lost sixty. Remember? We started with a hundred.”

“Oh,” Mary Stuart said, looking momentarily crestfallen, and then they both laughed like kids as they got undressed and got ready to go to bed on the bus. The two long couches in the green sitting room in the rear turned into beds, and there was a good-size table between them.

“You know, you look just like Tanya Thomas!” Mary Stuart drawled at her as Tanya brushed her mane of blond hair in the bathroom. It was like being roommates again in college, and Tanya stuck her chin out. She'd had a small implant put in years before, and a little liposuction just beneath it, which gave her the neck of a very young woman.

“But taller and younger!” they intoned together, laughing still harder.

“And don't forget the ‘younger,’ “Tanya reminded her. “I paid a fortune for having all this shit done.”

“You're hopeless,” Mary Stuart said, laughing as she put on her nightgown. She hadn't had this much fun in years, and for the first time in months, she didn't miss Bill at all. Suddenly, she had her own life, and his rejection of her seemed sad but much less important. “You don't look any different than you used to,” she said, looking at Tanya carefully in the mirror. But neither did she, and she had done nothing for it.

“That's the whole point,” Tanya explained. “What I'd like to know, though, is how come you don't look any different, and you claim you've done nothing. I think you're lying,” she teased, but she knew better. Mary Stuart just had great bones, a great face, great genes, and she was a beautiful woman. They both were.

They went to bed chatting like young girls, and they talked until two in the morning with the lights off, and then finally they went to sleep, and didn't wake up until nine the next morning. She had told Tom she'd call him in the hotel when they were ready.

Tanya made coffee in the kitchen, and sweet rolls in the microwave, while Mary Stuart showered. And then Tanya showered afterward, and they were both dressed in blue jeans and cowboy boots by nine-thirty. Neither of them had bothered to put on makeup.

“You know, I never do this,” Tanya confessed, looking in the mirror with amazement. She never went out that way in L.A., she couldn't afford to, but here it didn't matter. And it was a real luxury for her to have the freedom to do that. “I'm always afraid I'll run into a photographer somewhere, or a reporter. But here, what the hell,” she said, smiling. She felt better just being there, and so did Mary Stuart. They both felt free of their heavy burdens.

And a few minutes later, they walked back into the casino. Tanya had called Tom and told him they were almost ready to get going. They had closed up their beds, and he was going to finish cleaning up for them, and get gas, while the two women went to spend another twenty dollars on the slot machines. And this time they each doubled their money. Their friend of the night before was gone, and in his place were a dozen more like him, but absolutely no one paid any attention to Tanya. Mary Stuart thought it was amazing.

“Maybe you should go out without makeup more often,” she said as they boarded the bus. Tom was waiting for them, and he put on another pot of coffee.

“Thanks, Tom,” Tanya said when she saw how nice the bus looked. Mary Stuart had to agree with her, she thought it was the only way to travel. She loved it, and she could see why Tom called it a land yacht.

They drove out of Winnemucca shortly after ten, and continued their trek across Nevada all through the afternoon, and when they got to Idaho, the countryside began to look greener. It had been unbelievably barren in the desert. But Idaho was more inviting. And they rolled on doing just what they had before, reading and sleeping and talking. Tanya checked in with her office and returned some phone calls. But for once, there was no crisis. No one wanted anything from her, and there were no new traumas or lawsuits.

“How boring,” she teased Jean on the phone when she told her how quiet it was. But Tanya was grateful for the respite. There was only a message from Zoe confirming her flight time. She was going to arrive at Jackson Hole shortly after they did. And a van from the hotel was picking her up at the airport. Tanya figured they'd arrive at the ranch around five-thirty, just in time to change their clothes and have dinner. But she said nothing to Mary Stuart about the message from Zoe, although she was beginning to wonder if she should warn her. But Mary Stuart had been so relaxed on the trip, Tanya hated to spoil it, so she didn't. And for the last few hours of the trip, they both slept, and when they awoke, they were dazzled by the Tetons. They were the most spectacular mountains either of them had ever seen. Mary Stuart just sat and stared at them, and without even realizing it, Tanya starting humming and then singing.

It was a moment neither of them would forget for a lifetime. And as Tanya sang, Mary Stuart reached a hand out to her, and they sat holding hands, as they drove through Jackson Hole, toward Moose, Wyoming.

Chapter 11

“You have to check our stock of AZT constantly,” Zoe warned Sam as he handed her bags to the skycap. “You have no idea how quickly we run out. And I try to give away as many free samples as I can. It's expensive,” she said, handing the man a tip and her ticket so he could check her baggage. “And you have to kick the lab constantly. If you let them, they'll take forever. Particularly with the kids, that can be a disaster. You want to know as fast as you can what's happening to their white counts.” She was frantic as she got her ticket back and he walked her to the gate. She was frowning as she talked to Sam, and tried to remember all the concerns she had wanted to share with him at the last minute.