“I’ll have to put them aside soon,” I said. “I was allowed to wear them when I was little more than a child but I…” I checked myself. I did not want to confide in her. She had a gift, this princess, the Tudor gift, of opening confidences.

“When I was your age, I thought I would never know how to be a young woman,” she said, echoing my thought. “All I wanted to do was to be a scholar, I could see how to do that. I had a wonderful tutor and he taught me Latin and Greek and all the spoken languages too. I wanted to please my father so much, I thought he would be proud of me if I could be as clever as Edward. I used to write to him in Greek – can you imagine? The greatest dread of my life was that I would be married and sent away from England. The greatest hope of my life was that I might be a great and learned lady and be allowed to stay at court. When my father died I thought I would be always at court: my brother’s favorite sister, and aunt to his many children, and together we would see my father’s work complete.”

She shook her head. “Indeed, I should not want your gift of Sight,” she said. “If I had known that I would come to this, under the shadow of my sister’s displeasure, and my beloved brother dead, and my father’s legacy thrown away…”

Elizabeth broke off and then turned to me, her dark eyes filled with tears. She stretched out her hand palm upward, and I could see that she was shaking slightly. “Can you see my future?” she asked. “Will Mary greet me as a sister and know that I have done no wrong? Will you tell her that I am innocent in my heart?”

“If she can, she will.” I took her hand, but kept my eyes on the pale face which had so suddenly blanched. She leaned back against the richly embroidered pillows. “Truly, Princess, the queen would be your friend. I know this. She would be very happy to hear of your innocence.”

She pulled her hand away. “Even if the Vatican named me a saint, she would not be happy,” she said. “And I will tell you why. It isn’t my absence from court, it isn’t even my doubts about her religion. It is the rage that lives between sisters. She will never forgive me for what they did to her mother, and for what they did to her. She will never forgive me for being my father’s darling and the baby of the court. She will never forgive me for being the best beloved daughter. I remember her as a young woman, sitting at the foot of my bed and staring at me as if she would hold the pillow over my face, though she was singing me a lullaby all the time. She has loves and hates, all mixed up. And the last thing she wants at court is a younger sister to show her up.”

I said nothing; it was too shrewd an assessment.

“A younger sister who is prettier than her,” Elizabeth reminded me. “A younger sister who looks like a pure Tudor and not like a half-caste Spaniard.”

I turned my head. “Have a care, Princess.”

Elizabeth laughed, a wild little laugh. “She sent you here to see into my heart. Didn’t she? She has great faith in God working his purpose in her life. Telling her what is to be. But her God is very slow in bringing her joy, I think. That long long wait for the throne and then a rebellious kingdom at the end of it. And now a wedding but a bridegroom who is in no hurry to come, but instead stays at home with his mistress. What do you see for her, fool?”

I shook my head. “Nothing, Your Grace. I cannot see to command. And in any case, I am afraid to look.”

“Mr. Dee believes that you could be a great seer, one who might help him unveil the mysteries of the heavens.”

I turned my head, afraid that my face might show the sudden vivid image I had in my mind’s eye, the dark mirror, and the words spilling out of my mouth, telling of the two queens who would rule England. A child, but no child, a king but no king, a virgin queen all-forgotten, a queen but no virgin. I did not know who these might be. “I have not spoken with Mr. Dee for many months,” I said cautiously. “I hardly know him.”

“You once spoke to me without my invitation, you mentioned his name, and others,” she said, her voice very low.

I did not falter for a second. “I did not, your ladyship. If you remember, the heel of your shoe broke and I helped you to your room.”

She half closed her eyes and smiled. “Not a fool at all then, Hannah.”

“I can tell a hawk from a handsaw,” I said shortly.

There was a silence between us, then she sat up and put her feet to the ground. “Help me up,” she said.

I took her arm and she leaned her weight against me. She staggered slightly as she got to her feet, this was no pretense. She was a sick girl, and I felt her tremble and knew that she was sick with fear. She took a step toward the window and looked out over the cold garden, each leaf dripping a teardrop of ice.

“I dare not go to London,” she said to me in a soft moan. “Help me, Hannah. I dare not go. Have you heard from Lord Robert? Have you truly nothing for me from John Dee? From any of the others? Is there no one there who will help me?”

“Lady Elizabeth, I swear to you, it is over. There is no one who can rescue you, there is no force that can come against your sister. I have not seen Mr. Dee for months, and the last time I saw Lord Robert he was in the Tower awaiting execution. He did not expect to live long. He has released me from his service.” I heard the tiny shake in my voice, and I drew a breath and steadied myself. “His last words to me were to tell me to ask for mercy for Lady Jane.” I did not add that he had asked for mercy for Elizabeth too. She did not look as if she needed reminding that she was as close to the block as her cousin.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wooden shutters. “And did you plead for her? Will she be forgiven?”

“The queen is always merciful,” I said.

She looked at me with eyes that were filled with tears. “I hope so indeed,” Elizabeth said gravely. “For what about me?”


The next day she could resist no longer. The wagons with her trunks, furniture and linens had already gone, swaying south down the great north road. The queen’s own litter with cushions and rugs of the warmest wool was standing at the door, four white mules harnessed to it, the muleteer at the ready. At the doorway Elizabeth staggered and seemed to faint but the doctors were at her side and they half lifted and half dragged her into the litter and bundled her in. She cried out as if in pain but I thought it was fear that was choking her. She was sick with fear. She knew she was going to her trial for treason, and then death.

We traveled slowly. At every halt the princess delayed, asking for a longer rest, complaining of the jolting pace, unable to put a foot to the ground to step down from the litter, and then unable to climb back in again. Her face, the only part of her exposed to the wintry wind, grew pink from the cold and became more swollen. It was no weather for a journey at all, certainly no weather for an invalid, but the queen’s councillors would not be delayed. With Elizabeth’s own cousin urging them onward, their determination told Elizabeth as clearly as if they had the warrant in their hand that she was destined for death.

No one would dare to offend the next heir to the throne as they were daring to treat her. No one would make the next monarch of England climb into a litter on a dark morning and jolt down a rutted frozen road before it was even light. Anyone who treated Elizabeth in this way must know for sure that she would never become queen.


We were three days into a journey that seemed as if it would last forever as the princess rose later every morning, too pained with her aching joints to face the litter until midday. Whenever we stopped on the road to dine she sat late at the table and was reluctant to get back into the litter. By the time we got to the house where we were spending the night the councillors were swearing at their horses with frustration, and stamping to their chambers, kicking the rushes aside.

“What do you think to gain from this delay, Princess?” I asked her one morning when Lord Howard had sent me into her bedchamber for the tenth time to ask when she would be ready to come. “The queen is not more likely to forgive you if she is kept waiting.”

She was standing stock-still, while one of her ladies slowly wound a scarf around her throat. “I gain another day,” she said.

“But to do what?”

She smiled at me, though her eyes were dark with fear. “Ah, Hannah, you have never longed to live as I long to live if you do not know that another day is the most precious thing. I would do anything right now to gain another day, and tomorrow it will be the same. Every day we do not reach London is another day that I am alive. Every morning that I wake, every night that I sleep is a victory for me.”

On the fourth day into the journey a messenger met us on the road, carrying a letter for Lord William Howard. He read it and tucked it into the front of his doublet, his face suddenly grim. Elizabeth waited till he was looking away and then crooked her swollen finger at me. I drew up my horse beside the litter.

“I would give a good deal to know what was in that letter,” she said. “Go and listen for me. They won’t notice you.”

My opportunity came when we stopped to dine. Lord Howard and the other councillors were watching their horses being taken into the stalls. I saw him pull the letter from inside his doublet and I paused beside him to straighten my riding boot.

“Lady Jane is dead,” he announced baldly. “Executed two days ago. Guilford Dudley before her.”

“And Robert?” I demanded urgently, bobbing up, my voice cutting through the buzz of comment. “Robert Dudley?”

Much was always forgiven a fool. He nodded at my interest. “I have no news of him,” he said. “I should think he was executed alongside his brother.”