“The soup was usually well watered with my tears. She was right, of course. One has to learn to do things one does not like. It makes it easier to face the world.”

I wondered whether drinking soup she had hated had made it easier for her to come to England. I did not believe it had for a moment and I felt very critical of Duchess Laura and a fresh flood of sadness for the loss of our kind and clever mother.

“Our lessons were not easy either,” said Mary Beatrice. “Many times I was beaten because I could not remember a verse in one of the psalms. You see, my mother wanted the best for us. She wanted us to be clever, so that we were prepared for anything that might happen to us. It was all for our benefit. The doctors once said that my little brother was not strong enough to sit so long over his lessons. He should be more in the fresh air. But my mother replied that she would rather have no son at all than a dullard. So poor little Francisco had to persevere with his lessons.”

How different it had been with us! I remembered Anne, lolling indolently in her chair. “I shall not do lessons today. My eyes will hurt if I try to.” And everybody said she must not hurt her eyes. Lessons were there if we wanted them, but no one in the household should think of forcing the Lady Anne to learn if she did not want to.

Poor, poor Mary Beatrice — although it must be rather pleasant to have learned as much as she appeared to have done.

“You will find my father very kind,” I assured her. But I could see that she was unsure and uneasy, although she had already been charmed by the King.

I was a little piqued to realize that she wished my uncle had been her bridegroom instead of my father — and not because of his superior rank. I had heard it said so often that the charm of the King was unsurpassable. Kindliness was at the very essense of that charm and, because of her youth, and perhaps her beauty, he had made a very special point of showing affection and kindness to his new sister-in-law.

He appeared often at St. James’s Palace, which was my father’s official residence and, of course, with him would come the courtiers so there were some very lively gatherings.

My uncle obviously liked Mary Beatrice. He was always attracted by beauty such as hers, and I realize now that he made such a show of favoring her because of the unpopularity of the marriage. He wanted to soothe the people’s fears regarding it. But at the same time, he deplored my father’s preference for the Catholic faith — or rather his refusal to keep it a secret.

This show of favor had its effect on Mary Beatrice and she was no longer the melancholy girl she had been on her arrival.

The shock of meeting her husband who was so much older than she was had subsided a little. My father was making her see that he was not an ogre. In fact, I thought she was beginning to like him, but her uneasiness had not entirely disappeared.

Elizabeth Villiers talked of the great excitement there had been on Guy Fawkes Night, the fifth of November, just a short time before Mary Beatrice arrived in the country.

“The fires were bigger than ever this year,” said Elizabeth. “There were grotesque images of Guy Fawkes. Hideous, they were. Well, he did try to blow up the Houses of Parliament, so it is understandable that people remember. It was all due to the Papist Plot. It will never be forgotten while there are Catholics in the country.”

She began to chant,


Remember, remember the fifth of November


The gunpowder treason and plot


I see no reason,


The gunpowder treason


Should ever be forgot!


“That is what they sing!” Her eyes were wide with innocence. “Why did they make such a special occasion of it this year?” she asked.

This was Elizabeth stressing the unpopularity of my father’s marriage.

I was pleased when it became clear that Mary Beatrice was not afraid of my father as she had been at first. When I grew older I realized that, with his great experience of women, and his considerable charm — although some degrees less than that of the King — he had begun to win her affection. I noticed the smiles they exchanged and that the melancholy which she had not succeeded in hiding on her arrival was no longer there. There was an acceptance of her new life which grew firmer every day.

Card-playing was one of the most popular pastimes at court and Mary Beatrice was expected to join in. She told me that she disliked it and that she found no excitement when she won and she hated to lose.

“Then if you do not want to play, why did you do so?” I asked.

“I am told it is expected of me and some of the company look very displeased when I show no enthusiasm for the game.”

“But it is amusing!” I cried. “I play now and then. Even my sister does. We like it very much.”

Mary Beatrice shook her head. But that was just a minor irritation.


* * *

DURING THE MONTHS that followed and as my father was revealed to Mary Beatrice as the considerate and kindly man he was, she grew to love him. The lazy manner of our court must have seemed a great contrast to that of her mother’s. She remained enchanted by the courteous attention paid to her by the King. And she was becoming a lighthearted girl of sixteen.

Of the four ladies she had brought with her from Modena two were young. One of these was Anna, the daughter of Madame Montecuculi, the lady who was in charge of them all; and the other was Madame Molza, who was only a little older than Mary Beatrice herself. The other lady was Madame Turenie, who had been with Mary Beatrice since she was a baby.

Through the veiled remarks of Elizabeth Villiers and the sophisticated comments of Sarah Jennings and some of the older girls, I was getting a deeper understanding of my father’s position.

There had been a time when he had enjoyed a popularity almost to rival that of the King. His dalliance with Arabella Churchill and involvement in the Sir John Denham affair were dismissed as romantic waywardness, to be expected in a man of the world; but what remained unforgiven was his adherence to the Catholic faith and now his marriage to a Catholic. The King and heir to the throne might be as lecherous as they pleased. Their religion was another matter. England had experienced Catholic Queen Mary, the bigoted daughter of King Henry VIII, and they were determined never to have another Catholic monarch on the throne if they could help it.

And as time was passing, it seemed more and more likely that my father would inherit the throne. Forgotten were the victorious naval battles which had made a hero of him. Now could be heard the first rumblings of the storm and I was to learn how significant that would prove to be.

There came a day when Mary Beatrice had some exciting news.

“I am going to have a baby,” she said, her beautiful eyes alight with happiness.

We were all very excited, particularly my father. He embraced me with the fervor he always showed at our meetings.

“I am so happy that you and your stepmother are such good friends,” he said. “Nothing could delight me more. And soon you will have a little brother ... or sister. That will be wonderful, will it not?”

I said it would, but I could not help thinking of those other little brothers who had lived a while in our nursery and caused great concern until they passed on.

I hoped this one would not be like them.

THE CHASTE NYMPH

Our household was no longer at Richmond. It had been moved to St. James’s, that ancient palace which had once been a hospital for women suffering from leprosy. That was years ago, before the Norman Conquest, of course. It was dedicated to St. James and the name remained when it became a palace. Like Richmond, it was a place full of memories, and because of my growing awareness of all the murmurings about my father’s leanings toward Catholicism, I thought of my namesake, Mary, who had lived here when her husband, Philip II of Spain, had gone away. He had not been a very kind husband; he was obsessed by his religion and such people are often too busy doing their duty toward God to be over-concerned with people. Perhaps they felt people were not very important. However, in spite of the fact that nowadays I often thought of sad, cruel Queen Mary who had ordered people to be burned at the stake because they would not become Catholics, I was happy to be near my father and Mary Beatrice.

It was at this time that I first met Frances Apsley. Frances’s father was a friend of mine, and because of this she had been given a place at court.

From the moment I met her I was entranced. When she was presented to me I felt that I should have been the one to kiss her hand and do homage to her because of her excellence, which I could never match.

She was a few years older than I was and when she talked to me I was too bemused to take in what she had said. I did gather that her father was Sir Allen Apsley.

My father had been good to hers, she told me.

When she was about to leave, I said that we must meet again.

“I have my duties,” Frances told me.

“I shall write to you,” I said, and Frances replied that that would give her great pleasure.

I was so filled with admiration that I must have shown it, and when I met Mary Beatrice I spoke of Frances Apsley to her.

“Ah yes,” said my stepmother. “A very pleasant girl, and a beautiful one. Your father is friendly with her father. They were together during the long exile. Sir Allen was always loyal and worked hard to bring about the Restoration.”