I tried to understand his point of view. These occasions were as distasteful to him as they were to me, for I was perpetually on the edge of tears which frequently overflowed; and the manner in which I clenched my teeth in preparation for the ordeal was not conducive to lovemaking.

He was not the sort of man to hide his feelings or to make things easier for me.

“Stop crying,” he would say. “Do you not understand that this is our duty?”

Oh yes, such an attitude must curb the most intense passion, except that of a sadist, of course, and William was certainly not that. He wanted to get the unpleasant business over as speedily as he could and he made no secret of it.

Perhaps I should have been glad of this, but there must have been something perverse in my nature. I did not want him, but with a certain feminine logic, I wanted him to want me.

I knew that I was by no means repulsive. I was rather too plump, but I had been called beautiful. I was young and virginal — indeed too much so, it seemed. I believe my youth irritated him and my dread certainly would.

It was strange that I should feel this faint resentment because the “duty” was as repulsive to him as it was to me. I thought of Mary Beatrice and my father. In fact my father was constantly in my thoughts, and I longed for his presence. Mary Beatrice had been as young as I was and as frightened. It must have happened to her just as it had to me. And then, suddenly, she had ceased to be frightened and instead became jealous of Arabella Churchill and the rest. But she had come to love my father. Should I ever grow to love William? They were as different as two men could be. My father and the King had what was called the Stuart charm. That had completely passed over William without touching him. I must remember that people who paid compliments as charmingly as the King did did not always mean them. William would never say what he did not mean. William would never pretend.

And so the weeks passed. I learned to steel myself for those evenings when William came to supper and I found they were less unpleasant than they had been in the beginning. I knew what to expect and that is better than being taken by surprise. I very much liked the House in the Woods. I could wander out with my attendants and stroll in the woods whenever I had the desire to do so. We danced in the evenings, or played cards, and, apart from the suppers and their aftermath with William, I could be tolerably happy.

Then there was wonderful news from home. Anne had completely recovered and I was so relieved and delighted that nothing could make me miserable then.

I was still writing to my dear Frances Apsley, and still called her “my husband.” I wondered what William would think of those letters. He must never be allowed to see them. But would he be interested? I was beginning to learn that little interested him except the government of the country.

I remember one day when we were sitting with our needlework I heard the story of that strange happening at the time of William’s birth. It must have affected him deeply, and made him sure of the destiny which awaited him.

I had noticed that Elizabeth Villiers liked to talk about William. Sometimes I would find her looking at me slyly, as though she were considering something. I did not understand her and I wished I had asked my father not to let her accompany me. I could tolerate her sister Anne, but there was something about Elizabeth which disturbed me. It always had, but I had been so miserable at the time of the marriage that I had not been able to think of anything else. I should have been wiser. My father would have said immediately that if I did not want her she should not go, for indeed the purpose of these girls, more than anything else, was to be a comfort to me in a strange land. But it was too late to think about that now.

On this occasion, she said: “I heard a strange story the other day. It was about the Prince’s birth. It is really very extraordinary.”

We were all alert, listening.

“It was someone who knew the midwife, a Mrs. Tanner, who told me. Perhaps the Prince has told Your Highness of this?”

She was looking at me with that sly look. She knew that there was very little conversation between the Prince and myself and was hinting that it was very unlikely that he would have told me anything except not to cry, that I must not be foolish, a silly child crying for her father.

“What was it?” I asked.

“Well,” said Elizabeth. “If you have not heard and do not mind my telling . . .”

“Do tell us,” cried Anne Villiers. “I cannot wait to hear.”

“It was a very sad time,” went on Elizabeth. “The Prince’s father had died only eight days before the Prince was born. The court was deep in mourning and the Princess hung her bedchamber with black cloth.”

“Surely she changed it for the birth of her son?” said Anne Trelawny.

“No,” replied Elizabeth. “Not according to Mrs. Tanner, the midwife. Even the cradle was hung with black.”

“What a sad way to bring a child into the world!” commented Jane Wroth.

“What would he know about it?” demanded Elizabeth. “But that is not the point. When he was emerging into the world ... at the very moment ... all the candles went out.”

“Who blew them out?” asked Anne Trelawny. “Or was it just the wind?”

“No one. They went out of their own accord.”

“How difficult for them,” put in Jane Wroth. “A baby about to be born in the dark.”

“But that was so that the circles of light could be seen.” Elizabeth spoke with great intensity and, watching her, I saw the squint was very pronounced. It made her look calculating, wise, witchlike.

She went on in very solemn tones: “And about the baby’s head were three circles of light. Mrs. Tanner saw them clearly.”

“What were they?” I asked.

“Your Highness, they were signs. Mrs. Tanner said they were like three crowns just above the baby’s head.”

“What did it mean?” asked Anne Trelawny.

“They said it meant that the Prince was born to greatness. His father was dead. There was no Stadholder. The fortunes of the country were low. And he had just come into the world. It was a sign, they said, that he would inherit three crowns.”

“What crowns?” I asked.

Elizabeth looked at me steadily and said: “They speak of the three crowns of Britain: the crown of England, Ireland and France.”

Elizabeth lowered those strange eyes. There was an air about her which I did not understand, a pride, a triumph.

She had always baffled me.


* * *

IT WAS NOT LONG after my arrival in Holland when I received a request to go to The Hague Palace where my uncle Laurence Hyde, Earl of Clarendon, who was the English ambassador, had something of importance to impart to William and me.

I had long realized that my husband did not regard me as of any importance in state matters, but this was different. It needed my uncle’s ambassador to remind the people here that I was his niece and Princess of Orange.

Wondering what this could mean, I went to the Presence Chamber in the palace where William, with Clarendon, was impatiently awaiting me.

My uncle greeted me with the deference due to my rank as the Prince’s wife, and, having made his point, said that the news was for both of us.

“There is great sadness at Whitehall, Your Highnesses. Charles, Duke of Cambridge, has died.”

Poor Mary Beatrice. Her little son, who had been born two days after my marriage, had been christened Charles and created Duke of Cambridge.

There was silence. My thoughts were with my stepmother. I remembered her joy when she had at last given birth to the longed-for son, and her hopes because it had seemed possible that he would live.

And how short had been his life! This was the child who had soured our marriage and filled William with such bitter disappointment.

I said: “The poor Duchess. How is she?”

My uncle replied: “Very sad, Your Highness, and the Duke with her.”

I looked at William. I guessed what he was feeling and I marvelled at his ability to hide it. I saw him take a deep breath and then said: “We must send our condolences to the Duke and Duchess.”

“I will write to them at once,” I said.

“It will comfort their Graces to hear from you,” said my uncle.

“What was the cause of death?” asked William.

Laurence Hyde was uncertain. “There have been the usual rumors, of course.”

“Rumors?” asked William with more animation than he had shown on hearing the news.

“It is gossip, Your Highness. There was smallpox in Whitehall. The Lady Anne herself ... Praise God she has now recovered ... but there were several deaths. The Lady Frances Villiers . . .”

“Ah yes,” murmured William. “And now the little Duke. But these rumors . . .”

“The nurses, Mrs. Chambers and Mrs. Manning, were blamed by some for not applying a cole leaf to draw out the infection. They protested that they had done their best for him. I am sure they did, poor women. But there will always be rumors.”

“And how is my father?” I asked.

“He is deep in mourning, Your Highness.”

I wished that I were there to comfort him.

When my uncle left and I was alone with William, he said: “That message must be sent to the English court without delay.”

A certain reserve dropped from him. He might have felt it was not necessary to hide his true feelings from me. I saw the slow smile spread across his face — a smile of satisfaction.