“No,” I repeated. “I shall not leave my sister.”

He looked amazed. I was aware of Elizabeth Villiers, watching me closely. There was silence.

Then Elizabeth said: “Your Highness, I will prepare for our departure.”

I stood very still. I did not care what happened to me. I was not going to leave St. James’s one moment before I had to.

“Do you know that there is smallpox in this place?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Your sister and others have fallen victim to this plague. It is folly to stay here one moment longer than need be. So prepare to leave at once.”

I cried passionately: “I do not care about the smallpox.”

I saw a faint color appear under his pale skin. It made the ravages of the disease more noticeable. I did not care what he said. I was still under my father’s care and he would understand. But this man did not know anything about love, of caring for people so much that one must be near them, however great the danger. I could not leave Anne now.

“This is folly,” he said quietly. “You do not know what you say.”

I was determined now to stand out against him. I wondered why he did not tell Elizabeth Villiers to go.

He turned suddenly and strode out of the room. I looked at Elizabeth. I fancied there was a certain amusement in her sly eyes.

She said: “Should Your Highness have been so vehement? After all, there is pox in the place. He is your husband. You have defied him. He will not like that ... and after his disappointment about the newly born baby!”


* * *

MY FATHER CAME TO SEE ME that day.

“So,” he said, “you have refused to leave your sister.”

I nodded.

“The Prince is not pleased. In fact, he is determined to leave for Holland at the earliest possible moment.”

I went to him and buried my face against him.

“He is not a happy man at this moment,” I said. “He was hoping the child would be a girl or stillborn. He married me only for the reason that one day I might have inherited the crown. I am glad he has been cheated of that.”

“The treaty was important to him, but he would not sign it until he had seen you and after the marriage. Also, my dear daughter, he liked what he saw or there would have been no marriage.”

“No. He hates me, as I do him.”

“This is just the beginning. He is a fine man. Your uncle has a great respect for him.”

“My uncle always seems to me to be laughing at him.”

“He is amused by his rather abstemious conduct and his stern religious views. But as a man ... as a statesman ... he is reckoned to be one of the best in Europe. You will be proud of him, Mary, one day.”

“I wish he had never come here. I wish we did not have to be friends with the Dutch.”

“But you will like the Dutch. They are good, law-abiding people. They are devoted to their Prince and they will be to their Princess. And you will like them when you see how much they will like you.”

“You have come to comfort me. I suppose it is to prepare me for my departure.”

He was silent, and I knew that I was right.

“There is to be a special ball in two days’ time,” he said. “For the Queen’s birthday. The King thinks the following day would be a good time for you to leave.”

I caught my breath. “So soon?”

“It may be that the weather will prevent it.”

“But it has to come,” I said sadly.

He was silent for a while, then he said: “Lady Frances, I fear, will not be with you.”

“She is very ill, I know.”

“And makes no improvement.”

“I am so anxious about Anne.”

“Anne is young. We can hope. I cannot believe that God will be so cruel as to take both my daughters from me.”

We clung together in silence.

At length he said: “Lady Inchiquin will take the place of Lady Frances. She is a mature, married lady.”

“Another of the Villiers family!”

“They have found favor with the King. He wants you to have people about you who will help you through the first difficult days which always follow starting a new life in a strange country. The two Villiers girls who have been with you here, Elizabeth and Anne, will be there, and also Anne Trelawny. I know she is a favorite of yours. Then there will be Henry Wroth’s girl, Jane, and Lady Betty Selbourne. They are both pleasant creatures. So you will have familiar faces about you.

“This has all happened so quickly,” I said piteously.

“Sometimes it is better that way. Oh, my dearest, how I shall miss you!”

There was nothing we could do but mingle our tears.


* * *

I HATED EVERY MOMENT of that ball. It was a glittering occasion to celebrate not only the Queen’s birthday but our marriage.

What mockery! I knew the Queen was not completely happy. She loved the King devotedly and it was not possible to hide from her his many infidelities. So how could she be happy? And as for celebrating our marriage — William was far from pleased with it and, as for myself, it had ruined my life. What an occasion for a ball!

Not once did William speak to me during the evening. He was not the man to grace a ball. Brusque, plainly dressed, what a contrast he made to the King and my father! I thought how well he would have suited Oliver Cromwell; he had no place in our glamorous court where good manners, appearances, wit and grace were so important. He stood out among the rest, dour, ungainly, disapproving, and displaying such an assurance of his wisdom and worthiness that I began to wonder whether there might be some truth in it.

Everyone had noticed his neglect of me. I think the King was amused by it. I could imagine his comment: “My poor nephew. To be disappointed at the post! This little fellow whom the Duchess had produced has a good chance of survival. What a way to treat a God-fearing man! Is there no reward for virtue? What are they doing up there, neglecting their own, for the sake of the sinners?”

Anne Trelawny was very angry. She was worried at the time because of the illness of her father who was at St. James’s. It was not a healthy place to be in and I supposed William was right when he had suggested my leaving. My refusal to do so was another piece of folly in his eyes.

Anne said: “It was cruel the way in which he behaved at the ball. He is nothing but a monster. I am sorry but I cannot help saying it.”

Jane Wroth, whom I liked because she was warmhearted and natural and spoke before she thought of what effect her words might have, said: “That is true. He is nothing but a Dutch monster.”

Sarah Jennings, to whom I should soon say good-bye, because naturally she would be staying with my sister, commented: “He reminds me of Caliban. He looks as though he is plotting something.”

She felt free to speak of him thus, I supposed, because I should soon be gone, and he with me.

I heard them talking about him later. They called him the Dutch monster, Caliban.

And this was my husband.


* * *

THE TIME HAD COME. There could be no further delay. My father had given orders at St. James’s. Anne, who was now dangerously ill, was not to be told that I was leaving, for he feared the effect it might have on her in her weak state. As for myself, I was expressly forbidden to go near my sister, for fear of catching the infection, so I must leave without saying good-bye. I wondered what further blows fate could deal me.

I was realizing that I was really fond of Lady Frances and was deeply sorry that she was not accompanying me, that I was a little afraid of Elizabeth Villiers, and did not really care for her sister Anne. I did have Anne Trelawny though, and frivolous little Jane Wroth and lively Betty Selbourne were very pleasant to be with.

I spent the night before I was due to sail writing two letters to my sister Anne. I sent for the Duchess of Monmouth and asked her to give them to my sister as soon as she was well enough to receive them. I wanted her to know that I was thinking of her and how it grieved me to leave her.

William had not approached me since our wedding night, and it was becoming more and more clear to me that the experience had been as unpleasant to him as it had been degrading to me.

I think I began to like him a little better then, although I had not been in the least displeased to hear those whispered comments in which he had been referred to as the Dutch monster and Caliban.

He found me a disappointing wife now that I was further removed from the throne, but I saw that he did not hurt me out of malice. He just acted naturally and we shared our regret for a marriage which need never have taken place.

On that dreaded day I left St. James’s and went to Whitehall to say good-bye to the Queen.

Queen Catherine was a gentle, kindly lady. She had trouble of her own, but still had sympathy to spare for me. She understood my feelings and reminded me of how she had come to England to marry a man she had never seen.

I burst out: “But, Madame, you were coming to England and I am going from it. You came to the King ... and I . . .”

I said no more. She understood. She had come to the most kindly and charming of men and I was going to one completely lacking in these qualities. She had come to what would have been great happiness if it had not been tainted by perpetual jealousy. Poor Queen Catherine. It seemed there could be no perfect happiness.

I left her tearfully, feeling I should never see her again.