She was years younger than Uncle Cumberland and she did not think she was going to die yet. No, Uncle Leopold could rest assured that Cumberland would spend his days as King of Hanover. It was not that she was against marriage, but that as she was only twenty she thought she had plenty of time and did not wish to hurry into such a state which was so very important not only to herself but to the country.

‘It is not exactly seemly for a young female monarch to live alone.’

‘Alone, dearest Uncle! I am surrounded by people.’

‘And your Prime Minister even lives at the Palace!’

‘He has private rooms there of his own because it makes it so much easier when we have to discuss State matters.’

‘That seems to me to be rather inviting criticism.’

Victoria flushed hotly. Cries of ‘Mrs Melbourne’ echoed in her mind.

‘Lord Melbourne is my Prime Minister, Uncle. Naturally he has a suite in the Palace. I cannot see anything to criticise in that.’

‘Yet am I right in assuming that there has been criticism?’

‘There has been a great deal of senseless criticism. This distressing affair of Flora Hastings, for instance …’

‘I was thinking more of the affair of the Bedchamber Ladies. You know it was said that you acted as you did because you were so fond of Lord Melbourne that you were ready to go to any lengths to keep on intimate terms with him.’

‘What a wicked scandal!’

‘It is, but we have to reckon with wicked scandals. A sovereign is in the arena to be shot at. A sovereign has to make sure that he – or she – gives no opportunities to people to cast slurs. You understand what I mean. Marriage is what you need, my precious angel. And soon.’

She was a little shaken but adamant. The fiery temper showed itself in her eyes though her voice was tender as always for dear Uncle Leopold.

‘Dearest Uncle,’ she said, ‘I should never allow unworthy gossip to drive me into a situation which was abhorrent to me.’

‘Abhorrent!’ cried Uncle Leopold in horror.

‘I was speaking generally, dear Uncle. Of course Albert is not abhorrent to me. I love all my cousins. Dear Alexander was delightful. So were Augustus and Leopold. I am wretched at the thought of parting with them. And I am sure Albert and Ernest are equally pleasant. I merely mean that I will not allow malicious people to dictate my actions.’

Nor even beloved uncles, she was implying.

Oh, she had indeed changed; and it was necessary to get Albert to England as soon as possible.


* * *

Uncle Leopold could stay no longer. He and Aunt Louise were due to start very early in the morning to catch the tide. Victoria, who had determined to say goodbye once more before they left although they had already said their farewells the previous night, arose at a quarter past four and went to their apartments. They were sitting in their travelling clothes ready for departure, eating their breakfast by the light of several candles. Sad as she was, Victoria’s mouth watered at the sight of thin bread and butter and eggs and she could not resist joining them in their breakfast.

This was not the time, even Uncle Leopold realised, to indulge in further persuasion so he contented himself with a tender farewell; and from her bedroom window the Queen tearfully watched them leave.

How very sad it was, to say goodbye to dear relations; but her sorrow was tinged with apprehension. Very soon Cousin Albert would be arriving and then she would have to make her decision.


* * *

She was touchy and irritable with Lord Melbourne.

‘I believe you are pleased to see my cousins depart,’ she accused him peevishly.

‘They were rather noisy,’ he answered.

‘And of course they spoke in German which you do not understand. That must have been very tiresome for you.’

‘Not at all,’ said Lord Melbourne blandly, ‘for I do not believe I missed a great deal.’

‘I enjoyed their company very much.’

‘Which was evident and made their visit worthwhile.’

‘Poor Lord Melbourne! I believe their noise interrupted your little naps.’

‘That is exactly the case,’ agreed Lord Melbourne.

She burst out laughing. ‘I am young after all. I don’t think I see enough young people.’

‘You certainly did during the visit.’

‘A young person like myself must sometimes have young people to laugh with.’

‘You lead rather an unnatural life for a young person,’ admitted Lord Melbourne. ‘It’s the life of a man.’

‘I do feel that is so sometimes. But the excitement did me good.’

‘You may suffer for it afterwards. You must always take care of your health. You have complained of a certain listlessness. It would be dreadful if you were to take a dislike to your official duties.’

‘You need have no fear, Lord Melbourne, that I shall ever fail in my duty,’ she said coldly.


* * *

She was tense; she was apprehensive. The thought of marriage frightened her. Oh, why, she demanded of Lehzen, did everything have to change? She kept harking back to that happy, happy summer when everything was so pleasant and the people loved her.

‘Nothing stands still,’ Lehzen reminded her.

‘I know that,’ she snapped. ‘I am not a child, although I am well aware that you sometimes think I am.’

Her ladies whispered together that she had changed. Once she had been so considerate to them; now nothing they could do seemed right for her.

Even Lord Melbourne displeased her. Understanding her better than anyone else and realising that it was fear of marriage that made her so irritable and bad tempered he sought to soothe her. He wanted her to realise that there was absolutely no need to consider marriage a necessity at this stage; he wanted to lull her into a peaceful frame of mind. All she had to do was inspect her cousins and if she did not like them she could send them packing.

She was aware of this and was afraid of marriage; yet she wanted to marry. She loved Lord Melbourne, and she had never analysed her feelings for him. If he had been young and royal how easy that would have been! Lord Melbourne understood their relationship far better than she did and he was saddened because he knew that it had reached its peak and must now inevitably decline. Her present state of mind affected him deeply. He could not bear to see her unhappy. If she could marry now and make a success of her marriage and her life, his work had been well done. He knew – and had known all through – that his place could only be on the edge of that life, and he must now be ready to stand aside.

He tried to see less of her. This called forth abuse from her.

She was soon writing to him:‘The Queen was a good deal vexed at Lord Melbourne’s not coming …’

This was to one of her dinner parties to which he had not received a formal invitation but it was regarded as the accepted thing that he should be present and he always had been in the past. She was miserable without Lord Melbourne to sit beside her and make his amusing comments and go to sleep and snore if he wished to. This last habit might displease her and sometimes embarrass her, but she wanted him there.‘The Queen thinks it is important that Lord Melbourne should be here at large dinners. She insists upon his coming to dinner tomorrow, and begs him to do so on Wednesday also, her last two nights in town, as she will probably not see him for two days.’

When Lord Normanby changed places with Lord John Russell as Home Secretary, Melbourne, who had felt it wiser to avoid her company for a while, omitted to tell her and she learned of the change through Lord Normanby.

She was incensed … and against Lord Melbourne.‘Lord Melbourne never told the Queen that this was definitely settled. This has happened before.’

Then remembering that he had looked a little tired at their last meeting and the old tenderness returning she added:‘The Queen has such unlimited confidence in Lord Melbourne that she knows all that he does is right but she cannot help being a little vexed at not being told things.’

When he came to her in the blue closet he could see from her expression that her mood was stormy and it was not his good friend who stood before him, but the Queen. So cold and regal was she – and nobody knew how to convey this manner better than herself – that he did not sit down in his usual easy manner but remained standing until she gave him permission to do so.

She withheld this and sitting herself, talked to him as he stood.

Realising suddenly how tired he looked she was filled with remorse and insisted at once that he sit down when she began upbraiding him for not taking enough care of his health. He was always talking about hers. She commanded that he be more careful.

She saw the tears in his eyes and then everything seemed just as it had been. She was foolish to worry about Albert’s coming when she had this dear good friend to advise her.

The next day she sent him a little present.‘The Queen sends this little charm which she hopes may keep Lord Melbourne from all evil, and it will make her very happy if he will put it with his keys …’

She wanted him to understand that although she was going through a difficult stage, and although she appeared bad-tempered and nervous sometimes, her feelings for him could not change.

Sometimes she was quite herself and they talked in the blue closet.

‘I feel very much against marrying,’ she admitted.

‘It’s a very serious matter,’ agreed Lord Melbourne, ‘concerning as it does both the State and your personal happiness. To get the ideal man we should have to make one.’