requires no skill whatsoever, just plenty of upper body strength... which I am, of course, lacking, but I

am not about to admit it to anyone.At least, not out loud.

Still, those frames are HEAVY! I mean, building houses is not easy.

Thank God for Michael, Lars, Dr. Gonzales, and PeterTsu . I don't mean to be sexist, but at this point in

the building stage, the guys are definitely doing a better job than girls ­ although Tina has proven to be

pretty adept with the nail gun (lucky duck). I am pretty sure she is just doing it to look good in front of

PeterTsu , who has surprisingly shapely forearms ­ as Lilly was quick to point out and film for posterity.

Peter is almost as hot asMulan's boyfriend, and he has the added bonus of not being a cartoon character.

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Nobody could be hotter than my boyfriend, though. I just wish it were sunnier out so Michael would get

all sweaty and have to take his shirt off. That would make building houses WAY fun.

Well, that and actually knowing I was contributing to its construction in some meaningful way.

Anyway, our house is going up more quickly than anyone else's, despite our great handicap: Boris.

While I am in no real way helping to build our house, at least I am not making things worse, the way

Boris is. So far he has had two asthma attacks thanks to all the sawdust, and dropped a cinderblock on

his foot (it will be all right, it is just bruised, Dr. Gonzales says). We have now assigned him to keeping

Mitchel and Stefano from wandering too close to the chain saw, and refilling everybody's Gatorade

containers.

Oh, yeah. I know why Gatorade is so important now. Building a house is VERY tiring. You have to

replace your electrolytes constantly.

Mr.Harmeyer says beer is better for replacing electrolytes than Gatorade, but Dr. Gonzales pointed out

to him that alcohol dehydrates the body very quickly, and after that, Mr.Harmeyer shut up.

Lilly, who has been filming our progress with the framework of the house, insists that this new

documentary is going to rival her most celebrated work of all, "Travels With Lana's Coccyx Bone"

(witch Lilly shot, using somewhat crude animation, after Lana Weinberger's coccyx bone broke off and

disappeared into her bloodstream, thanks to a fall from a badly spotted basket toss. "Travels" showed

Lana's coccyx bone moving through Lana's body, carrying a little suitcase and visiting with the other

bones and stuff).

Lunch is salad, cornbread, mashed potatoes, and pork tenderloin sandwiches. I am just having salad and

mashed potatoes. I am sick of corn already, though I understand that it is a staple of theWest Virginia

diet, like bagels and lox are inNew York .

Sunday, March 13, 9 p.m., the tent

Too tired to give full account of day.Just held up more wood frames.For hours.

Dinner: salad, Tater Tots, hamburgers, corn. Just ate salad and Tater Tots. Sight of corn makes me want

to puke.

Fell asleep during inspirational speech by Dr. Gonzales.Woke up with head on Michael's shoulder. He

was very nice about it. Hope I didn't drool.

Can't believe I am too tired even to make out with own boyfriend.

Amgoing to sleep right now, too exhausted to wait for lights out.

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Monday, March 14, Noon, the dining tent

Woke to full-on rain.Wet wipes instead of showers for everyone. That's okay, my muscles would have

been too sore to carry my five-gallon solar shower bag to shower area anyway. Besides, I'm freezing ­

the dew soaked through my sleeping bag, right down to my pajamas. I feel like I've already had a

shower.

Fortunately wehad already framed in the roof of theHarmeyer's house.Spent morning applying gypsum

board to interior walls.Will shingle roof later if rain lets up. May be getting better at this house-building

thing, hammer only went through gypsum board five times. Mrs.Harmeyer says that's okay, she can hang

pictures over holes. But Michael says no, we will plaster over them.

Lunch is turkey sandwiches, potato salad, Jell-O, and corn chips.Ate potato salad and Jell-O.

Aw,geez , back to work.

Monday, March 14, 10 p.m., the tent

Too tired to write much.Rain let up and I spent afternoon on roof shingling with Lilly, Tina, and PeterTsu

. Only fell off roof once. Landed on Boris, so that was all right. Michael, Lars, and Dr. Gonzales installed

the plumbing. Mrs.Harmeyer cried when her toilet flushed for the first time. It was a deeply moving

moment.

After dinner ­ salad, fried chicken, creamed corn, and rolls (only ate salad and rolls) ­ Michael

surprised me by volunteering the two of us to "inventory the tools" in the supply tent.

I wasn't really sure how I felt about that, on account of the whole wet wipe situation. I mean, what if I

SMELLED?Made Trina smell me real quick. She said I smelled okay. But who knows if her nostrils are

as sensitive as Michael's????

Worried the whole way to supply tent that Michael would try to kiss me,then be repelled by possibleb.o

.

Except that when we got there, it turned out the supply tent was already occupied... by Mr.Wheeton

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

and Mademoiselle Klein, no less!!!!

They made us swear not to tell anyone. We said we wouldn't.

But that is not even the worst part. The worst part is, after they went away, Michael ACTUALLY

STARTED INVENTORYING THE TOOLS!!!!!!!

There is really only one explanation for this, and that is that I smell so bad, my own boyfriend does not

even want to make out with me.

As if this were not bad enough, I felt something crawling up my leg and looked down and saw the

world's biggest bug on my calf. I screamed so loud that Lars came bursting in with his gun drawn.

Michael said it was only a centipede.

ONLY A CENTIPEDE?IT TOUCHED MY SKIN!!!!!!!!

It is much easier to be an environmentalist when you live in the city where there aren't that many bugs,

than when you are in the country and are being eaten alive by them. I am not sure I love nature as much s

I used to think I did.

Tuesday, March 15, Noon, the dining tent

Worked all morning, still so much left to do, and this is LAST WORK DAY. But still must paint all

walls, and trim, too, plus install flooring, etc. Boris dropped a window shutter on his big toe, but Dr.

Gonzales said it isn't broken, just dislocated. He manipulated it back into place ­ I would so never touch

Boris's feet. Dr. Gonzales is truly a saint ­ and buddy taped it to the toe next to it so it would stay where

it is supposed to.

Mrs.Harmeyer has been complaining of heartburn since breakfast, but no one else is feeling sick.

Legionnaires's disease ruled out as we have been dining al fresco. Possibly result of two Diet Cokes she

downed with her eggs and bacon? Unborn child could bephenylketonuric .Warned Mrs.Harmeyer about

dangers of too much aspartame. It is a good thing I have watched so many episodes of A Baby Story on

the Learning Channel in preparation for the arrival of my new baby brother or sister. I am truly a front of

prenatal information.

Tuesday, March 15, 9 p.m., last day of home building

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

So tired, but truly amazingday, must get it all down before I forget:

Finished building Mr. and Mrs.Harmeyer's house.When we were done, we all stood around and

marveled: we had built a three-bedroom, one-bath house in three days, complete with kitchen, dining

room, and family room. I mean, it is not aBIG house (only1,200 square feet , smaller than our loft) and it

isn't like theHarmeyers can afford cable or Ikea furniture or anything. But it is a house, not a double wide

like Mitchell and Stefano have been living in their whole short lives.

And you know,it didn't look so bad. I mean, we had spackled over the holes I'd made in the gypsum

board, so you couldn't even see them. And with the vinyl siding, it looked, I don't know. Like a REAL

house.

While we were standing there admiring our handiwork, Mrs.Harmeyer complained that she had a

wicked case of heartburn and had anyone else had the potato salad at lunch? I informed Mrs.Harmeyer

that, being a vegetarian, I had eaten nothing but potato salad for lunch, as it had been the only non-meat

dish available, and I felt fine. Then I opened my diary to the entry I wrote earlier today and showed Mrs.

Harmeyer that she had complained of indigestion after breakfast, as well. Was it possible, I asked, that

she wasn't having heartburn at all, but contractions? The two have occasionally been confused, even by

experienced mothers, at least according to A Baby Story.

Then Mrs.Harmeyer got all excited and yelled, "Oh, my God! Todd, get the pickup!"

So Mr. and Mrs.Harmeyer sped off for the hospital, leaving us in charge of Mitchell and Stefano. Dr.

Gonzales was way impresses by what he called my powers of observation. Not everybody, he said,

would have kept such a detailed record of another person's complaints about their gastritis.

I told Dr. Gonzales that it was no bigdeal, that I write down everything, really. Then he said the funniest

thing. He said: "That's quite a skill."