Katie Ashley - The Pairing

“Oh yeah, he does. He’s been holding a candle for you since the moment you walked in here. I saw it the first day I introduced you two. I don’t know what has happened since that day, but I know something has changed for you, too.”

“It’s true that I care about him. He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever known.”

“Then what the hell is the problem?”

“I wish I could tell you, but I don’t even know myself,” Megan moaned as tears stung her eyes. “Dammit, stupid PMS hormones.”

“Oh honey, you do actually care about him, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“And you’re a wreck about what you’re feeling for him, aren’t you?” Kristi asked.

Megan couldn’t hold back the sobs any longer. They rolled through her, causing her to bend at the waist under the burden. Kristi stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Megan. Even though she knew she should try to fight her emotions considering she was at work, she decided to let herself go and get it all out. When she finally had a hold of herself, she raised her head, wiping what she imagined were the hideous black mascara streaks off her face.

“I’m so sorry. That was so unprofessional of me.”

Kristi gave her a sad smile. “Would you stop that, please? This isn’t an evaluation. Besides, I’m the one who pulled you in here and provoked you. You always keep your emotions in check out on the floor.”

“The truth is I do care for Pesh. How could I not? I’m just not sure I’m the right woman for him.”

“But if he loves you, how could you think you’re not the right one?”

Megan blurted out all the reasons she’d previously given Pesh about her age and her lack of wanting a committed relationship. When she finally finished unburdening herself of all her doubts and fears, she glanced up at Kristi. There was no judgment in her eyes or anger for that matter. Instead, she merely patted Megan’s cheek. “Oh honey, you’ve got to tune all those negative voices out and go with your heart.”

Megan shook head. “But what if I don’t know what my heart is telling me to do?”

“You will. Just give it time.” Kristi patted her back. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up and then take your lunch break?”

“No, I need to make up for the time I’ve missed.”

“You’re fine.” She motioned to the door. “Go on. See if Dr. Nadeen is on his way to lunch so you can join him.”

“But I shouldn’t. It won’t look right if we’re alone together.”

Kristi chuckled. “Alone together in a crowded hospital cafeteria? I don’t think that’s possible.”

Megan nibbled on her bottom lip and fought the urge to argue with Kristi. After all, if the very woman who was in charge of her clinical grade didn’t give a shit about her and Pesh being seen together, why should she? Finally, she just gave a defeated sigh. “Okay, I’ll go see.”

“Good girl. And you be listening to your heart now. Okay?”

“I’ll try. I promise.”

Although she spoke the words with such conviction of character, Megan was afraid it was going to be harder than she thought.

When Pesh arrived at work the following day, he found Kristi alone in the nurses’ station. Gazing around, he asked, “Where’s Megan?”

“Oh, she called in sick today.”

Both disappointment and concern filled him. She had seemed a little off the night before when they had dinner together in the cafeteria. She was quieter and somewhat withdrawn. He had just chalked it up to the fact that they were sitting with some of the other staff and she was trying not to make things seem weird with them now.

He wondered if he should call her and check to make sure she was okay. They were in such limbo together that even though it sounded like the right thing to do, he wasn’t sure. With a resigned sigh, he decided to leave things as they were and vowed to check on her tomorrow when she returned to work.

As much as Pesh hated to admit it, the day dragged mercilessly without Megan. He went from patient to patient with a monotony he hadn’t felt in a long time. When his shift ended, he met Kristi in the hallway. “Want me to walk you out?” he suggested.

“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

They started out the mechanized doors to the employee parking lot. To fill the quiet of their shoes echoing on the pavement, he said, “I hated to hear that Megan wasn’t feeling well.”

“So did I. Poor thing offered to pull a double tomorrow to make up for being gone.” Kristi smiled. “She sure is going to make a fine nurse.”

“Yes, she is.”

“You’ve taken a special interest in her, haven’t you?” Kristi asked.

Pesh’s steps momentarily faltered, and he stumbled. “Whatever do you mean?”

Kristi chuckled. “You know exactly what I mean.”

“It is true that we know each other outside of the hospital, but when we’re in the ER, our relationship is strictly professional.”

“I never said it wasn’t.”

After gazing around the somewhat deserted parking lot, he shook his head. “What you’re alluding to between me and Megan? Nothing good can come of those types of rumors.”

Patting his arm, Kristi smiled. “There are no rumors—merely an observation by someone who loves and admires you.”

His brows rose in surprise. “You don’t disapprove?”

“Of course not. I think it’s a good match for both you and her.”

He remained silent for a few moments, contemplating her words. “Perhaps I should call and check on her.”

“I think that would be a very good idea.” She took her keys out of her purse and motioned at the Honda they were standing in front of. “Well, this is me.”

“Have a good night, Kristi.”

“Same to you, Dr. Nadeen. And good luck.”

He smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

When he got to his car, he slid inside and took his phone out. He scrolled through his contacts to find Megan’s number. After he dialed, he anxiously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. The call went to her voicemail, leaving him with a defeated feeling. Although he knew it probably wasn’t the best idea in the world, he decided to go to her house to check on her.

The moment he rang her parents’ doorbell he really regretted making a house call. One of her younger brothers answered. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked.

“Hello. I’m Dr. Nadeen. I work with Megan.”

Snapping his fingers, he pointed at Pesh. “Wait, I know you. Aren’t you Noah’s godfather?”

Pesh smiled. “Yes, I am.”

“Cool. Listen man, Megan’s downstairs. If you go around the side of the house, she has her own door.”

“I see. Thank you then.”

“No problem.”

When the door closed, Pesh debated going straight to his car. But he knew it would look even worse if her brother told her he had been there and then he had left without seeing her. Heaving a frustrated breath, he headed off the porch. He followed the sidewalk around the house to where it sloped down the hill.

At the side door, he knocked loudly. When the door flew open, Megan stared at him in a mixture of both surprise and horror. “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

Pesh shoved his hands in his pockets. “You called in sick today. I was worried.”

“I’m fine.”

He fought the urge to say that by her disheveled appearance and dark circles under her eyes, she most certainly didn’t seem fine. “I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer. Kristi and I were worried about you.”

Her expression softened a little. “I’m sorry. I must’ve forgotten to charge my phone.”

“Can I get you something to eat? Some soup maybe?”

“Really, I’m fine.”

“But you look so pale. Will you let me do an exam? You know the flu is—”

“I don’t have the flu.”

“How can you be sure if you haven’t been checked? Did you get the flu shot at the hospital? Sometimes it can give you a mild case.”

She shook her head and smiled. “I don’t have the flu. Since you’re going to keep on and on, I’m going to go ahead and tell you. I have really horrendous cramps with my period. Usually, I can manage them with birth control, but when I started clinicals and stopped working, I couldn’t afford the birth control without health insurance. And it wasn’t like I was having sex anyway.”

While he appreciated her honesty, he was also slightly mortified. “Oh, I see.”

“I’m sorry to have embarrassed you,” Megan said.

He waved his hand dismissively. “Listen, when you return to work tomorrow, there will be a script for you for birth control. I don’t like the idea of you in pain, so I don’t want this to happen next month.”

“But the money,” she protested.

He shook his head. “It will be discounted through the hospital pharmacy.”

“Thank you, Pesh. That’s a very decent thing for you to do.”

A blonde head peeked around Megan. “Hi Esh. You play?”

He smiled at Mason. “I came to check on your mommy.”

Mason tilted his chin to look up at Megan. “Her tummy hurts. She no play. U play?”

“Um, well…” He wanted nothing more than to spend time with Mason, and in the same token, with Megan as well. But he was also walking such a fine line with her that he didn’t want to come on too strong and scare her off. “I’m not sure your mommy feels up to company.”

Megan smiled. “If you really don’t mind staying, we’d love to have you.”

“Are you certain?”

“Sure.”

“Okay then.”

Mason grabbed his hand and led him through the door. Pesh took in the cozy décor of the basement apartment. In one chair, Megan’s textbooks and papers were strewn around, while on the floor it looked like a tornado had blown through the living room with all the toys lying around. When he met her gaze, she flushed. “Sorry it’s such a mess.”