She just held me against her so that I couldn't see her face, and I thought she didn't want me to.

The train stopped and she jumped up. "We're getting out here," she said.

She took my hand and we left the train. We almost ran along the platform. Outside was a dogcart with a woman sitting in it.

"Oh, Janet," cried Miss Anabel, "I knew you'd come."

" Tain't right," said the woman, looking at me. She had a pale face and brown hair drawn down the sides of her face and fastened in a bun at the back. She had on a brown bonnet with ribbon tied under the chin and reminded me of Uncle William suddenly because I could see she was trying to stop herself smiling.

"So this is the child, miss," she said.

"This is Suewellyn," answered Miss Anabel.

Janet clicked her tongue. "I don't know why I ..." she began.

"Janet, you're having a wonderful time. Is the hamper there?"

"Just as you said, miss."

"Come on, Suewellyn," said Miss Anabel. "Get up into the trap. We're going for a ride."

Janet sat in front holding the reins. Miss Anabel and I were behind. Miss Anabel held my hand tightly. She was laughing again.

The dogcart started off and we were soon riding through leafy lanes. I wanted this to go on and on forever. It was like stepping into an enchanted world. The trees were just beginning to turn color and there was a faint mist in the air which made the sunshine hazy, and this seemed to give a certain mystery to the landscape.

"Are you warm enough, Suewellyn?" asked Miss Anabel.

I nodded happily. I did not want to speak. I was afraid of breaking the spell, afraid that I would wake up in my bed and find that I had been dreaming it all. I tried to catch each moment and hold it, saying to myself, Now. It is always now, of course, but I wanted this moment of now to stay with me forever.

I was almost unbearably excited, almost unbearably happy.

When the trap stopped suddenly, I gave a gasp of disappointment. But there was more to come.

"This is the spot," said Janet. "And, Miss Anabel, I reckon it's a whole lot too close for comfort."

"Oh, get away with you, Janet. It's perfectly safe. What time is it?"

Janet consulted the watch pinned to her black bombazine blouse.

"Half past eleven," she said.

Miss Anabel nodded. "Take the hamper," she said. "Get everything ready. Suewellyn and I are going for a little walk. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Suewellyn?"

I nodded. I should have liked anything I shared with Miss Anabel.

"Now you watch out, miss," said Janet. "If you was to be seen ..."

"We're not going to be seen. Of course we're not. We're not going all that near."

"I should hope not."

Miss Anabel took my hand and we walked away.

"She seems rather cross," I said.

"She's cautious."

"What's that?"

"She doesn't like risks."

I didn't know what Miss Anabel was talking about but I was too happy to care.

"Let's go into the woods," she said. "I want to show you something. Come on. Let's run."

So we ran over the grass, dodging between the trees. "See if you can catch me," said Miss Anabel.

I almost did; then she would laugh and slip away from me. I was breathless and even happier than I had been in the train and the dogcart. The trees had thinned and we were on the edge of the woods.

"Suewellyn," she said softly. "Look."

And there it was, just about a quarter of a mile away from us, set on a slight incline with a ditch all round it. I could see it clearly. It was like a castle out of a fairy tale.

"What do you think of it?" she said.

"Is it ... real?" I asked.

"Oh yes ... it's real."

I have always had a good visual memory and could look at something and remember it in detail after a glance or two and thus was able to carry the image of Mateland Castle in my mind through the years to come. I describe it now as I know it to be. When, at the age of six, I first saw it there was something magical on that day which was to stand out in my mind for some years to come, almost like a dream.

The castle was magnificent and mysterious. It was enclosed by tall curtain walls and at the four angles there were massive drum towers; on each flank was a square tower and there was the traditional machicolated gatehouse. Long narrow slits of windows were set in the ashlar walls. The postern tower parapet defending the portal below was a formidable reminder that once boiling oil had been poured from it on anyone who dared attempt to break down the defenses. Behind the battlements were wall walks from which the defenders of the castle would have sent their arrows raining down. I learned all this and much more later; I came to know every corbel, every machicolation, every twist of the spiral staircases. But from that moment it fascinated me completely. It was almost as though it took possession of me. I liked to think later that it willed me to act as I did.

At this time I could only stand beside Miss Anabel staring, speechless.

I heard her laugh and she whispered: "Do you like it?"

Like it? It seemed a mild word to express my feeling about the castle. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. There was a picture of Windsor Castle in Miss Brent's parlor and that was beautiful. But this was different. This was real. I could see the September sunshine picking out sharp bits of flint in the walls and making them sparkle.

She was waiting for me to answer.

"It's ... beautiful. It's real."

"Oh, it's real all right," answered Miss Anabel. "It's been standing there for seven hundred years."

"Seven hundred years!" I echoed.

"A long time, eh? And think, you've only been on this earth for six. I'm glad you like it."

"Does anyone live in it?"

"Oh yes, people live in it."

"Knights ..." I whispered. "Perhaps the Queen."

"Not the Queen, and they don't have knights in armor these days ... even in seven-hundred-year-old castles."

Suddenly four people appeared—a girl with three boys. They were riding across the stretch of grass before the castle moat. The girl was on a pony and I noticed her particularly, for she seemed to be about my age. The boys were older.

Miss Anabel caught her breath sharply. She laid her hand on my arm and drew me back into the bushes.

"It's all right," she whispered, as though to herself. They're going in."

"Do they live there?" I asked.

"Not all of them. Susannah and Esmond do. Malcolm and Garth are visitors."

"Susannah," I said. "That's a bit like my name."

"Oh yes, it is."

I watched the riders pass over the bridge which crossed the moat. They went under the gatehouse and into the castle.

Their appearance had affected Miss Anabel deeply. She took my hand suddenly, and I remembered Aunt Amelia's injunctions not to speak unless I was spoken to.

Miss Anabel started to run through the trees. I tried to catch her and we were laughing again.

We came to a clearing in the woods and there Janet had undone the hamper, spread a cloth on the grass and was putting out knives and forks and plates.

"We'll wait awhile," said Miss Anabel.

Janet nodded, her lips tight as though she were holding back something she wanted to say which was not very pleasant.

Miss Anabel noticed, for she said: "It's none of your business, Janet."

"Oh no," said Janet, looking like a hen with ruffled feathers, "I know that well enough. I just do as I'm told."

Miss Anabel gave her a little push. Then she said: "Listen."

We all listened. I could hear the unmistakable sound of horses' hoofs.

"It is," said Miss Anabel.

"You be careful, miss," warned Janet. "It might not be."

A man on horseback came into sight. Anabel gave a cry of joy and ran towards him.

He jumped off his horse and tied it to a tree. Miss Anabel, who herself was a tall lady, looked suddenly very small beside him.

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her for some seconds. Then he said: "Where is she?"

Miss Anabel held out her hand and I ran to her.

"This is Suewellyn," she said.

I curtsied as I had been taught to do to people like the squire and the vicar. He picked me up and held me in his arms, scrutinizing me.

"Why," he said, "she is a little thing."

"She's only six, remember," said Miss Anabel. "What did you expect? An Amazon? And she's tall for her age. Aren't you, Suewellyn?"

I said that I was taller than Clara Feen and Jane Motley, who were older than I.

"Well," he said, "that's a mercy. I'm glad you surpassed those two."

"But you don't know them," I said.

And they both laughed.

He put me down and patted my head. My hair was loose today. Miss Anabel did not like it in plaits.

"We're going to eat now," said Miss Anabel. "Janet has it all waiting for us." She whispered to the man: "Most disapproving, I assure you."

"I don't need to be assured on that point," he said.

"She thinks it was another of my mad schemes."

"Well, isn't it?"

"Oh, you know you wanted it as much as I did."

He still had his hand on my head. He ruffled my hair and said: "I believe I did."

At first I was rather sorry that he and Janet were there. I should have liked Miss Anabel to myself. But after a while I began to change my mind. It was only Janet I wished to be without. She sat a little apart from us and her expression reminded me of Aunt Amelia, which in its turn recalled the unpleasant truth that this magical day would come to an end and I should be back in the house on the green with only memories of it. But in the meantime it was Now and Now was glorious.