Aunt Amy Jane was unsure.
"Wait awhile," she said. "Let Anabel visit you later."
But Jessamy was adamant for once and so on a golden September day she and I were seated side by side in a first-class carriage and chuffing along to Mateland.
There was a halt which had been made especially for Mateland and a board stating Mateland Castle was on the platform. We alighted and a carriage accompanied by a man in livery was waiting for us. He bowed and took our hand luggage. He said to Jessamy: "The rest will be collected by the wagon, madam."
And soon we were trotting along the road to the castle.
I shall never forget my first glimpse of it. You have seen it, Suewellyn. I showed it to you and you were as impressed with it as I was. So I will not go into lengthy details describing it to you. You do not need me to tell you of the grandeur of those thick stone walls, of the impressive gatehouse and the machicolated towers and narrow slits of windows.
It enchanted me. There was a golden haze in the air, and I felt as though I were on the threshold of some exciting drama in which I was to play a major part.
"I can see you're impressed by the castle," said Jessamy. "Everyone is. When I first saw it I thought it had come out of one of the fairy stories we used to read, do you remember?"
"I do. There was usually a princess who was a captive in them and had to be rescued."
"And the princesses were all beautiful with long yellow hair. Your color, Anabel."
"I don't think I fit the role somehow. You're the princess, Jessamy. Awakened from years of slumber at Seton by Prince Joel's kiss."
"Oh, I am glad you came, Anabel."
We went under the gatehouse and into a courtyard. Grooms hurried out and we alighted from the carriage.
"Thank you, Evans," said Jessamy, very dignified. I thought that life in a castle suited her.
You have seen the outside of the castle, Suewellyn, but not the interior. Believe me, the inside is equally enthralling. The past seems to rush at you and envelop you when you enter the hall. I am not surprised that the Matelands all seem to revere the place. It has been there for centuries. It was built by one of their ancestors years ago, although in the twelfth century it was little more than a fortress. It has been added to through the ages. I think they loved every stone. It has been cherished by them, enhanced by them. It is their home and their pride. Even I began to feel something of its magnetism although my connection with it was through Jessamy, who had married into it.
The hall was lofty with finely carved stone walls on which weapons hung. There were several suits of armor which had belonged to various members of the family. They looked like sentinels, standing guard. Its timbered roof was very fine and there was a minstrels' gallery at the end; at the other were the screens and near the gallery a beautiful staircase. Jessamy was looking sideways at me to see the effect the place was having, but even I was struck dumb with wonder.
"I'll take you to your room," she said. "It's near mine. Come along."
We walked through the hall and up the staircase. At the head of the staircase was a long gallery. "It's the picture gallery. Here hang the members of the family, illustrious and otherwise."
"Don't tell me there are 'otherwise' Matelands."
"Scores of them," she said with a laugh.
I wanted to linger but she hurried me on. "You'll have plenty of time to look," she said. "Come on. I want to show you your room."
"Do they know you're coming back? Do they know I'm coming?"
"They know I am. I didn't mention you were. You know you didn't decide at once."
"They might not want me here."
"I do," she said, and gave me a hug.
"It's a strange sort of household, isn't it?"
"I think it seems so because it's so big. Everyone goes his own way. Nobody interferes with anyone. It works very well. I thought you wouldn't want to be isolated in the castle. That's why your room is near mine."
"You're right. I shouldn't want to be. I should be imagining all those long-dead Matelands, good and otherwise, were descending on me."
"You were always imagining something. Later on I'll show you everything ... the library, the long gallery, the armory, the dining room, the drawing room, the music room ... all of it."
"I'm not surprised your mother liked this place and thought it a worthy setting for her precious daughter."
"Oh, my mother was enchanted by it from the moment she set eyes on it."
"It makes Seton Manor look like a farm laborer's cottage."
"Oh, come, hardly that."
"No, of course not. Unfair to dear old Seton. Seton is lovely. I'm not sure I wouldn't rather have it than a castle. There's something about this place. It seems almost alive."
"No more fancies... . This is your room."
I looked round it. It was circular in shape. There were three tall narrow windows at which hung draperies in scarlet velvet. There was a four-poster bed with gold hangings and a gold-colored bedspread. There was an alcove in which were a basin and ewer. Persian rugs covered the stone-flagged floor; there were a table and small bureau, a few chairs and several cupboards. I thought it very well appointed.
"We're in the west front drum tower," said Jessamy, and I looked out of the window. I could see lawns, grassy slopes and woods in the distance.
"I ... we are just along the corridor."
I said suddenly: "May I see your room?" and immediately wished I hadn't. I did not want to see their room. I wanted to forget about them altogether.
"Of course. Come along and see it." I followed her down three steps to a corridor. She flung open a door. It was a large and lofty room and there was a big bed in it with fine silk hangings. There were a dressing table, chairs and two big court cupboards; and an alcove similar to mine.
I kept seeing them there together and I wanted to shut out the picture. It made me unhappy.
I turned away and started back to my own room.
"Where are the rest of them?" I asked.
"Oh, David and Emerald are on the east side. We meet at meals."
"And the grandfather?"
"He has his own apartments. He doesn't leave them very often. Anabel, there's something I have to warn you about."
"Yes."
"It's Emerald. She's an invalid. She has been for some years. She has a companion."
"Oh, I didn't imagine her an invalid."
"She had a riding accident about two years ago. She is in a chair most of the time. Elizabeth is devoted to her."
"Elizabeth?"
"Elizabeth Larkham. She is more like a friend really. She's a widow. She has a son ... Garth. He's away at school. He comes here for his holidays to be with his mother. You see ... she's like one of the family. You'll meet them all at dinner."
"And ... your husband?"
"He will be there, I think."
There was a knock on the door. "Oh, they are bringing your things up. Would you like to wash? They'll bring hot water. Then perhaps you'd like to rest a little. We shall be eating in the small dining room. I'll take you there when you're ready. You'll lose your way in the castle at first. I did."
My baggage came and with it a maid bringing hot water.
I took out a dress—a blue one with a tight-fitting bodice and a rather full skirt, one of the made-over ones of which my wardrobe consisted. It was a fairly large wardrobe and the only one which had been made for me was the blue silk chiffon bridesmaid's dress.
When I had washed I lay on my bed for a while and thought about the strangeness of everything and how quickly it had all come about. This time last year we had been unaware of the name Mateland. Now here we were joined up with the family.
And all the time I lay there I was wondering what it would be like to see Jessamy's husband again. I had only seen him twice— once when I was doing the flowers in the church and the other occasion was that of the wedding; and yet I could remember every detail of his face, how he had looked at me, wonderingly, intently, as though I had the same effect on him as he had on me.
My longing to see him was almost unbearable and yet at the same time I was aware of warning voices within me.
You shouldn't have come, they said.
But of course I must accept Jessamy's invitation to her new home. Even Aunt Amy Jane did not disapprove of my doing so.
There was a tap on the door.
"Are you ready?" said Jessamy. "How nice you look."
"Recognize it?" I asked.
"Yes, but it never looked so well on me."
"It would now. You look very pretty. Marriage suits you, Jessamy.''
"Yes," she said, "I think it does."
She slipped her arm through mine.
"Tomorrow I'm going to take you round and show you the castle."
"You are like the monarch of all you survey."
"Oh no. Not me. Grandfather Egmont is very much the lord of the castle ... and after him, David. Then Esmond. They are the monarchs. We are on the fringe. Remember, Joel is only a younger son."
"I believe you love your old castle."
"One does, you know, Anabel. Perhaps you can't feel it ... not being a Mateland, but it's there. They have fought for it in the past ... given their lives for it."
"I am sure they have. Well, you have become one of them, dear cousin. What a long way it is."
"I told you it was a very big castle."
"I look forward to exploring it."
"It's grisly in parts. Dungeons and so on."
"My dear Jessamy, I should have been hideously disappointed if there had been no dungeons."
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