He kissed her before she left, and she drove back to the convent lost in her own thoughts. She didn't even see Mother Gregoria watching her as she came in, or Sister Anne leaving an envelope outside her office. And she had no way of knowing later on when the Mother Superior called St. Stephen's. She met with the monsignor there that night, and came back to St. Matthew's with a heavy heart. No one knew anything for sure, but there had been rumors, and a number of phone calls from a young woman who left different names at different times. Father Connors had been out a lot lately, and, Mother Gregoria realized now, at St. Matthew's far too often. And she and the monsignor had come to an agreement that night. Father Connors would not be back again for some time to hear confession or say Mass at the convent.

Gabriella had no way of knowing that, and when she slipped into the confessional the next morning and said, “Hi, I love you,” the voice that answered her was not one she recognized. There was a long moment of silence, and then he continued the confession as though everything were normal. Her heart was pounding as she left, and she couldn't even remember hearing her penance. She wondered if something had happened to Joe, if he were ill, or if he had told them he was leaving, or worse yet, if they had been discovered. She knew he wouldn't have said anything to them without consulting her first, but maybe after her announcement the previous afternoon, he had decided to move ahead and tell them he was leaving very quickly.

She was still frantic over it when Mother Gregoria called her into her office later that morning. She said nothing for a short time, and then looked across her desk sadly at Gabriella.

“I think you have some things to say to me, don't you, Gabriella?”

“About what?” Gabbie's face was as white as paper as she looked across the desk at the woman whom, for twelve years, she had called “Mother,” and loved as though she had been born to her.

“You know what I'm talking about. About Father Connors. Have you been calling him, Gabriella? I want you to be honest with me. One of the priests at St. Stephen's thought he saw you with him in Central Park, in August. I don't know for sure if it was you, and neither does he, but everyone at St. Stephen's seems to suspect it. It's still not too late to avoid a scandal, if you tell me the truth now.”

“I…” She didn't want to lie to her this time, but there was no way she could tell her the truth. Not yet, at least. Not until she talked to Joe about it, and found out what he'd told them. She was sure that they had already questioned him about it. “I don't know what to say to you, Mother.”

“The truth would be your best course of action,” Mother Gregoria said grimly, feeling her heart ache as she looked at the young woman she loved like a daughter.

“I… I've called him, yes… and we met in the park once.” It was all she was willing to give her. The rest belonged to them, and was far too private.

“May I ask why, Gabriella? Or is that a foolish question with a far-too-obvious answer? He's a handsome young man, and you re a beautiful young woman. But although you have not taken final vows yet, you have told me that you're sure of your vocation, and I believed you. I am no longer quite so certain. And in his case, he has been a priest for a number of years. Neither of you are free to behave this way, or to violate your commitments:’

“I understand that.” There were tears in her eyes, but she refused to cry now, or beg for mercy.

“Is there more to this ugly story, Gabriella? If there is, I want to know it.” It was not an ugly story, and hearing it described that way nearly broke Gabriella's heart as she listened. All she could do was shake her head. She refused to tell her any more lies now. “I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that there is going to be an investigation at St. Stephen's. The archbishop will be called today. And we won't be seeing Father Connors here for quite some time.” She paused for breath, looking deep into Gabbie's eyes, searching for answers Gabriella wouldn't allow her to see there. “I am going to suggest to you that you spend some time seriously examining your conscience, and your vocation, at our sister house in Oklahoma.” It sounded like a death sentence to Gabbie, and she almost shrieked when she heard it.

“Oklahoma?” It came out as a single croaking sound that seemed unfamiliar to her. But it was all she could say now. “I won't leave here.” It was the only time Gabriella had defied the Mother Superior since their initial battle over her going to college. But Mother Gregoria was more than firm now. Beneath her calm exterior, she was livid. At Gabriella, and the priest who had offered her temptation and nearly broken her spirit. It was an unpardonable sin as far as the Mother Superior was concerned, and she would have to do a great deal of praying herself, she knew, to forgive it. He had had no right to do this to her. He had been in a situation of extreme trust here. She was a young, innocent girl, and he should have known better.

“You have no choice in this matter, Gabriella. You are leaving here tomorrow. And you will be carefully watched until you go, so don't try to reach him. If you choose to stay with us, and that choice is still yours, you must carefully think about what you've done, and decide if you really want to be here. I offered you every opportunity to go back to the world for a time, to be part of it, if that's what you wanted to do, and you refused it. But at no time did that include consorting with a priest in clandestine meetings.”

“I didn't,” Gabbie said, looking agonized, and hating herself for the lies she was telling, but she felt she had to, if only for his sake.

“I wish I could believe you.” The Mother Superior stood up then, and signaled in no uncertain terms that the meeting was over. “You may go back to your room now. You will not speak to the other postulants for the rest of the day, or until you leave. One of the Sisters in the kitchen will bring a tray to your room, but you may not speak to her either.” Overnight, she had become a leper. And without a word she left the room, and went back upstairs, desperate to call him, but there was no way she could do it. All she knew was that she could not go to Oklahoma. She would not leave him.

She lay on her bed all that day, thinking of him, and by nightfall she was in a total state. She had written to him in her journal all day, and when she wasn't writing or lying down, she paced, wishing she could at least get out to the garden, but she knew she couldn't. She could not defy Mother Gregoria's orders any further. And all day she wondered what they were doing to him, and what he was saying to the archbishop. But neither of them had ever thought for a moment this would be easy. They had both known that from the beginning. Now all they had to do was survive the pain and humiliation until they could be together.

She never touched the food that came to her that day, and it was after dinnertime when she felt a strange pain low in her belly. It took her breath away at first, and then disappeared, and in a little while, it was followed by another. Gabriella had no idea what it meant, but she was in such a state worrying about Joe that she scarcely noticed. And by the time the other two postulants returned to the room, she was in bed, in agony, but she said nothing to them. She knew that whatever it was, it was from sheer terror.

The others said nothing at all to her, they had been warned that Gabriella was deeply troubled and they were not to speak to her. They had no idea what she had done, or what punishment was being meted out to her, but they whispered about it constantly whenever Sister Emanuel left the room, trying to guess what had happened. Only Sister Anne remained strangely silent.

Gabriella never slept that night, thinking about him, worrying about what he had said, or what they were saying to him. She imagined something much akin to the Spanish Inquisition going on at St. Stephen's, and at two o'clock that morning, she was in so much pain, she almost called out to the others, but she couldn't. What could she tell them? She could hardly say she was afraid she might lose her baby. Instead, she nearly crawled, hunched over, to the bathroom, and there she saw the first telltale signs of what she suspected was a serious problem. But there was no one she could turn to for help, not even Mother Gregoria this time, and surely not the others. And she had no way of reaching Joe. She had to wait to hear from him. She felt sure he would come for her, and that the whole situation would explode by morning. If he had told them he was leaving the priesthood for her, when they confronted him, it was only a matter of time before he came to find her at St. Matthew's. And then, she promised herself, she would tell Mother Gregoria everything that had happened, or as much of it as she needed to know. But she would not leave here with a trail of lies, like tin cans, rattling behind her.

But by morning, Gabriella was nearly blinded by pain and terror. And she had no idea what time they would come to try and make her go to Oklahoma. But that, at least, she knew she was not doing. She would refuse to leave here, and they could hardly carry her out in her nightgown.

She heard the others get up silently, and waited until they were gone, and when she stirred finally from her own bed, she saw that there was blood on the sheets, and she had no idea what to do about it. She went back to bed, crying softly, and lay there. And as the first light of day came up, after she had heard them singing in the chapel, she heard the door to her room open again, and saw Sister Emanuel looking down at her with immeasurable sorrow. She thought the old nun had even been crying.