She took the lists they gave her with trembling hands, and hoped no one saw it. She had the car keys, the money they handed her in an envelope, and as soon as she could leave gracefully, she hurried out the door of St. Matthew's. The station wagon was parked just outside. She waved to Mother Gregoria as she left, and the Mother Superior smiled at her as she always did. She was happy to see Gabbie in such good spirits these days. There was a lovely joyful light in her eyes. Everyone assumed her postulancy was agreeing with her. She was working hard in the garden, and Mother Gregoria hoped, as she always did, that Gabbie was still finding time to write, and reminded herself to ask her.

As Gabbie pulled away from the curb, she stepped on the gas as hard as she dared, and sped around the corner. She drove two blocks, stopped at a pay phone, and then, with trembling hands, she called him. The young Brother on the phone answered on the third ring, and she said, as Joe had told her to, that it was Father Connors’ dentist calling, they'd had a cancellation, and wondered if he had some free time that morning.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” the young Brother answered politely, “I don't believe he's in.” Her heart sank at the words. “I'll check for you, but I saw him getting ready to leave a few minutes ago, and he might be out for quite some time.” There was a long pause while he kept her on hold, and she railed silently at the bad luck that had caused her to miss him, and wished she had had the wisdom to leave half an hour before. For an instant, she wondered if she should feel guilty, if this was God's way of seeing that it didn't work out. They had both talked so much about what it would mean if they left the church together. She knew she should feel guilty about it, but she didn't yet. It was still too new and too exciting, and they had waited so anxiously for just a little time together. Maybe in the end, nothing would ever come of it, and they would come to their senses before it was too late. But if they did, they would have had this love they shared for a few moments, a few days, and she didn't want to give that up now. She had the rest of her life to repent for it, and give her life to God, if that was what He wanted for her.

The Brother came back on the line breathlessly, as Gabbie waited to hear what he'd found, and she almost whooped with glee when he told her he'd caught him, and if she was willing to wait, he'd come right on the line.

A moment later she heard Joe's voice, and he sounded as though he'd been running. He had. He'd been halfway out the door, and hurried back upstairs to take her call. “Where are you?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. Neither of them had thought this day would ever come. It seemed to have taken forever.

“I'm around the comer from St. Matthew's. I have to go downtown to pick up some things. They gave me a few errands, but I don't think anyone will worry about how long I'm gone,” she explained to him.

“Can I come with you? Or is that too dangerous? I'll meet you somewhere if you want. Where are your errands?”

“Delancey Street, and some stores where they give us discounts on the Lower East Side.”

“What about Washington Square Park? I don't think anyone there will know us. Or Bryant Park behind the library?” He had always liked it there, despite the pigeons and the drunks. It was peaceful and pretty.

They settled on Washington Square Park in an hour, which gave her time to pick up the fabric, and if she hurried, she could get everything else done.

“I'll meet you at ten o'clock.” he promised. “And Gabbie… thank you for doing this, sweetheart. I love you.” No one had ever called her that before, in her entire life, or sounded as he did now.

“I love you, Joe,” she whispered, still afraid that someone would hear them. It took a while to sink in that there was no one else around.

“Go do your errands. I'll see you in an hour.”

They were quick for once at the warehouse. They helped her load the car with the huge bolts of fabric. It took five yards for each habit, and there were two hundred nuns at St. Matthew's. What they gave her this time, just for some of them, filled most of the back of the car. She did the rest of the errands in record time, and it was five after ten when she drove up Sixth Avenue, and turned toward the park until the familiar arch came into sight. The park looked a little like the pictures of Paris she had seen. Joe was already there, waiting for her, when she arrived. She found a place to park the car, and locked it, and then as an afterthought, she unlocked it again, carefully pulled off her coif, and left it on the front seat of the car. She didn't even bother to look in the mirror, but ran her fingers through her hair, as she locked the car again, and went to meet him, hoping that in spite of the somber black dress, she looked like everyone else. She was grateful that she still wore the short dress of the postulants. There would have been no way to disguise her habit if she had already taken her final vows, or become a novice.

She ran across the square when she saw him, beaming at him, and without saying a word to her, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He also had taken his Roman collar off and left it and his jacket in the car. He looked like a man in a short-sleeve black shirt and matching pants, and attracted no attention.

“I'm so glad to see you,” he said breathlessly, walking slowly beside her, and excited to be out in the world with her for the first time. It was a world full of colors and excitement and people, even at that hour. There were children with balloons, couples on benches talking and holding hands, old men playing chess, and the canopy of trees overhead softened the summer sunshine. He bought her an ice cream from a passing cart, and they sat down on a bench together. He was smiling at her, and she had never seen him as happy, as they kissed and held hands and ate their ice cream. It was like a dream for them, a dream that could easily become a nightmare, but neither of them could think about that now.

“Thank you for meeting me here, Gabbie.” He looked at her gratefully, and knew only too well how hard it was for her to get out. But their long wait for these few hours made them even more precious to them. They didn't waste a single moment, but talked about everything, shared as many thoughts as they could in the short time they had, and kept themselves focused on the present rather than the future. He wanted to know how soon she thought they could meet again, and she had no idea what to say to him. This seemed like such a miracle to both of them that it was difficult to imagine doing it again, but she knew she had to. The moments they shared at St. Matthew's now seemed like crumbs. It was so wonderful to be out in the world together, and feel so free with each other.

“I'll do what I can. I think Mother Emanuel will let me do errands for her again. I don't think anyone will object, as long as I get everything done, and don't disappear for too many hours.” The nuns always broke the rules for her, they always had, and she had always been extremely helpful to them. There was no reason for that to stop now, as long as she did what she had to with the other postulants. She hadn't written a word all week, but she had still managed to work for hours in the garden.

“I'd love to go to Central Park with you sometime, or walk by the river.” There were so many things he wanted to do with her, and they had so little time in which to do them.

He walked her back to the car at eleven-thirty, and the moments they had shared had been so well filled they seemed like hours to them. Their time together had been everything they hoped it would be, and it made them hungrier still to meet again. They both knew what the dangers were, the risk to them potentially, yet it was too late for either of them to turn back. He kissed her one last time, and she could feel his body so close to her that it startled her at first, and then she relaxed and seemed to melt into his arms.

“Take care of yourself, Gabbie. Be careful. Don't say anything to anyone,” he warned unnecessarily, and she smiled at him.

“Not even to Sister Anne?” she teased, and he grinned. He wanted to take her back, to be with her, to call her that night. He wanted to do all the things men in love did, and he never had. At thirty-one, he had never loved a woman, never allowed himself to even think of it. He had never had a crush, never flirted, never allowed himself the kind of fantasies he had now. But for him, it was like the opening of a dam. And once open, it was impossible to stop the avalanche of feelings that overtook him.

He stood next to the car and watched her put her coif back on. She looked like a little girl to him, as she looked up at him with her huge blue eyes. Just seeing her like that made him want to run away with her right then. And neither of them had the vaguest idea when they would be able to meet this way again.

“I'll see you in the confessional tomorrow,” she said cautiously, and he nodded at her, wanting so much more of her. He hated to let her leave him.

“Do you still have the keys to the locked room?” he asked hopefully, and she smiled at him.

“I know where they are.”

It was dangerous, but better than the whispers they shared in the confessional. He already wanted more of her than he had now.

They kissed one last time, and as she drove away, she waved at him, and drove back through the mid-town traffic as fast as was allowed. She got back to St. Matthew's easily, and one of the other postulants came out to help her unload the car. The bolts of fabric were heavy, but Gabriella felt as though she had the strength of ten after the time she had just spent with Joe, and the tenderness they d shared.