She knew the person that had walked past wasn't a nun, because their footsteps were always soundless, and the footsteps she had heard had echoed loudly on the stone floor. She didn't give it any thought, but if she had, it would have been obvious to her that they'd been the footsteps of a man.

Sensing someone standing nearby, watching her, she stopped what she was doing, turned, and looked around. And she was surprised to see Father Joe standing in the doorway. He was watching her with a pained expression on his face.

“Hi,” she said quietly, only mildly surprised to see him. The room she was in was on his way out, after he left the church. He often walked through the central garden because it was so peaceful there, and the route was shorter, but this time he had gone the long way around. “Is something wrong?”

He shook his head, watching her in silence, his deep blue eyes mirroring her own. But he looked deeply worried.

“You look upset.”

He didn't answer her at first, and then walked slowly into the room, his eyes never leaving hers, and they both knew that there was no one else around. The rooms on this corridor hadn't been used in a long time.

“I am upset,” he said finally, without further explanation. He didn't have any idea where to start, or how to tell her what he'd been thinking.

“Did something happen?” She spoke to him as she would have to a small child, although she didn't have much experience with children. But there was something about him which made her think of him as one now. He seemed very boyish and looked very worried and very young all at the same time. She almost wanted to ask him if someone had been mean to him at school today, but he didn't look as though he was in the mood to laugh, which was rare for him.

He walked quietly into the room, and picked up one of the books she had discarded. So far, the lost ledgers hadn't surfaced. “What are you doing in here, Gabbie?” He didn't call her Gabriella, or even Sister Bernie, and when their eyes met again, it was clear to both of them that they viewed each other now as good friends, in fact, are thought of him almost as a brother,

“Sister Emanuel is looking for some old ledgers that got misplaced. I thought someone might have stored them in here.” There was dust on her habit, and she looked lovelier than ever. It was hot and she looked a little disheveled. Going through the old boxes was dirty work. He stood very near to her, took the books she held from her hands and put them quietly on the desk.

“I've been thinking about you,” he said almost sadly. She wasn't sure what he meant by it, but there was nothing ominous about his manner or his words. “Too much,” he added, “after the other night.”

“Are you sorry you told me about Jimmy?” she asked softly, her voice was so gentle in the quiet room, it was almost a caress. He closed his eyes and shook his head, and without saying a word, he reached out and took her hand. It was a long time before he opened his eyes again. And Gabriella was still groping for the right words to offer him in comfort.

“Of course I'm not sorry, Gabbie. You're my friend. I've been thinking… about a lot of things… about you… about myself… about the lives that brought us here, the people who hurt us… the ones we loved and lost.” He had loved and lost more than she had. She wasn't sure she had ever known love before, not until she came here. “Our lives here mean a great deal to both of us, don't they?” He asked as though desperately seeking an answer to a question he couldn't bring himself to ask her.

“Of course they do. You know that.”

“I would never do anything to risk that, to jeopardize either of us… to spoil anything… that's not what I want.” She still had no idea what was on his mind. She had never been alone with a man before this moment.

“You haven't done anything to do that, Joe. We haven't done anything wrong.” She said it with such quiet certainty that it felt like a knife through his heart. And he confessed his sins to her now, as she had done to him so often.

“I have.”

“No, you haven't.” Not that she knew of anyway.

“I've been having dangerous thoughts.” It was the closest he could come to saying what was in his heart, and on his mind.

“What do you mean?” she asked, her eyes and her soul wide open. She moved a little closer to him, without knowing it, but the magnet that was slowly drawing them toward each other was more powerful than anything either of them had ever been exposed to before that moment.

“I don't know how to tell you… what to say…” There were tears in his eyes as he looked at her, and she put a gentle hand on his face. It was the first time she had ever touched him like that, or any man. “I love you, Gabbie.” There was no way to hide it from her anymore, or from himself. “I don't know what to say to you, or what to do about it… I don't want to hurt you, or ruin your life. I want to be sure this is what you want, before I run away from here forever, or give up my job at St. Stephen's and go away. I'm going to ask the archbishop for a transfer.” He had been wrestling with the idea all morning.

“You can't do that.” She looked frightened as he said it. The thought of losing him terrified her far more than the rest of what he had just said. “You can't go away.” He was her friend now and she didn't want to lose him.

“I have to. I can't stay here, close to you like this. It's driving me crazy… Oh, Gabbie…” The words were lost as he pulled her close to him and she buried her face in his powerful chest, his arms held tightly around her. It was the strongest force she had ever felt in her entire life, the safest place she had ever been, even more so than the convent. “I love you so much… I want to be with you all the time… I want to talk to you… hold you… take care of you… I want to be with you forever… but how can we do this? I've been going crazy for the past four days. I love you so much,” he said, sounding agonized as she looked up at him in wonder, and all he wanted to do was keep her in his arms for the rest of time. So far, she hadn't said a word, and there were tears in her eyes now as she looked at him, tears of regret, and pain, and longing.

“I love you too, Joe… I wasn't sure what I was feeling… I think I knew it was wrong… I thought we could just be friends.” She looked both happy and devastated.

“Maybe we can be friends one day, but not now… not yet… We both belong here. I can't ask you to leave the convent. I'm not even sure what to do myself.” He was so troubled, so wracked with guilt, so anguished, that suddenly it made everything clearer to her, and she put her arms around him and held him there, her own strength drawing him still closer as she held him, and gave him all she had to give him.

“Just be quiet… we have to pray about it… shhh… it's all right, Joe, I love you.” She was the strong one now, and he was the one who desperately needed her. He felt all the power and the warmth and the love she felt for him, and without saying another word, he pulled her closer still and kissed her. It was a moment neither of them would ever forget, a moment when universes collided, and two lives were changed forever with a single breath.

“Oh, my God, Gabbie… I love you so much.” He was suddenly glad he had told her. After the agony of the past week, he had no regrets. He had never in his life felt as he did at this moment.

“I love you, too, Joe.” She sounded suddenly so grown up, so brave, and so sure. It was a risky thing they were doing, a still more dangerous game they would have to play. “What are we going to do now?” she asked him quietly, as he sat down next to her on the corner of the old desk.

“I don't know,” he said honestly. “We both need time to figure this out.” But they both knew that if they went too far, it would be impossible for them to continue their lives here. It was not too late yet, they could still turn back. They were Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, the apple was untouched and they were still holding it in their hands, staring at it. But the temptation would grow greater very quickly, and if they moved too fast, they would destroy each others lives. It was an awesome responsibility as they looked at each other, and he drew her toward him and kissed her again. “Can we meet somewhere?” he asked after he kissed her. “Just for coffee, or a walk. Out in the real world, with real people. We need to be alone for a little while, just to talk about this.”

“I don't know,” she said, thinking. “I don't see how I can do that. Postulants normally never leave the convent.”

“I know, but you're different. You're like a daughter of the house, you've lived here all your life. Can't you get them to send you on an errand, or do something for someone? I'll meet you anywhere you want.”

“I'll think about it tonight.” She was trembling as he held her. Suddenly, in half an hour, her entire world had turned upside down. But she didn't want to resist it. She knew she could still turn back, but nothing could have made her do that. She wanted to be near him more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. For all these months, she had never known it, and with a sudden flash of understanding, she realized that Sister Anne had been right. And she said as much to him.

“Maybe she was smarter than we both were,” he said wisely. “I swear I never saw this coming.” But he had never been involved with a woman in his life, nor had Gabriella ever been close to any man. She had never dated, never flirted, never made friends with her fellow students at Columbia, let alone really talked to a man there. In her heart, in her life, in her behavior, ever since she was a child, she had always been a nun. And now, in the blink of an eye, all of that had changed. She was suddenly a woman, and very much in love with him. “They just asked me to say Mass and hear confessions here every day.” He had been alternating with Father Peter, but the older priest hadn't been well, and had just decided that he already had too much on his plate at St. Stephens. And Father Joe seemed to get on well with the nuns, so he asked him to take over for him. “You can tell me what you've figured out tomorrow morning.”