Diane pursed her lips. "You know he's not like that."

"Do I?"

I started to get upset. I knew I'd crossed the line. I knew that Ryan wasn't like Nate — but I missed Ryan. I missed talking to him, hanging out with him between classes. And he just dumped on me. Just like Nate did. So was he any different?

"I'm just saying that my opinion on guys hasn't changed," I said.

I was sure I was right to not get involved with Ryan. He would've just hurt me in the end. Just like he'd already hurt me.


Tracy came up to me the next day after class. "Hey, I need to talk to you for a minute." She looked serious.

We walked over to the benches that lined the hallway near the cafeteria.

"There's some stuff going on with the Club that I need to let you in on."

"The Club?" I thought everything was great. But I'd been so distracted lately, it didn't surprise me that I may have missed something.

"Yeah, Kara is going to miss the next two meetings"

"Oh?"

Tracy looked around. "Yeah, I didn't say anything to you or Diane because I swore I wouldn't tell anybody."

"What's going on?"

"She's going in for counseling."

"Counseling?"

Tracy sighed. "Oh, come on, Pen, we've all kept quiet the last couple of years while we watched her waste away. I don't know what prompted her, but she started talking to me and Morgan at the last meeting about wanting to get back in control."

"That's great." I was so happy for Kara. Happy and concerned.

"So, anyways," Tracy continued. "The program she is going to is all weekend long."

"Of course, it's fine." I felt bad that I didn't know about it or hadn't been there for Kara.

Ryan came walking toward his locker. it was the first time I had seen him outside of World History in a week.

"Hey, Ryan!" Tracy said.

He looked up from his locker. "Hey, Tracy."

He, once again, didn't even look at me. He quickly grabbed his things and left.

Tracy looked between me and Ryan, who was walking out the door. "What's going on with you two, anyways?"

"Nothing."

And that was the truth. There was absolutely, positively nothing going on.

I decided I was going to use the week before thanksgiving break to focus back on the Club. I'd had enough of stressing over Ryan's coldness and Nate's desire to be friends.


"Okay, spill it!" Tracy said to Morgan as she sat down at our meeting on Saturday. "We want details."

Morgan blushed as the entire group awaited the details of her first date with Tyson.

"Well, Tyson picked me up in his mom's station wagon."

"He did not!" Erin exclaimed. "That is so not what I pictured."

"I know." Morgan smiled. "I thought he would've had some rock-star car, but it was really sweet. We went to the Mexicana Grill and had the greatest meal — they have the best guacamole. Then we went to the garage, and I got to hear their band rehearse, and he sang a song for me." Morgan blushed at the memory.

"An original song?" Teresa asked.

As Morgan continued the story of her night, I looked around at the group. Everybody was interested in Morgan's date and happy for her. I couldn't help but smile. These were the kinds of friends that I needed. Supportive ones.

Not Nate, who'd betrayed me. And not Ryan, who was so quick to dismiss me.

"Did he kiss you or not: I said details," Tracy teased.

Morgan blushed and looked down.

A chorus of "wooo" filled the room as Morgan put her hands up to her face.

"Penny, you've got to help me," she begged.

"All right, all right. Let the girl have some amount of privacy." I laughed.

I went through a list of movies we could watch and let the debate start between an eighties teen comedy or a horror flick.

"Hey, Penny." Teresa Finer came up to me. "Would it be okay if Marta and I went upstairs to study?"

"Study? It's a Saturday night, guys."

Marta Gonzales took out her Advanced Calculus textbook. "I know, but there's a big test on Monday we need to go over."

Teresa leaned in. "I failed the last exam, and if my grade drops any lower I'm going to lose my volleyball scholarship at UW."

"Oh, of course!" I motioned for them to follow me as I walked them up to my room. "It will be quiet here. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks," Teresa said as she sat down on my floor.

When I headed downstairs, I saw I had a text from Nate. Tracy had shut off his ringer, but that didn't mean he couldn't get through.

I flipped open the phone and burst out laughing.

"What's going on?" Tracy was in the kitchen with Diane getting more food.

I kept laughing. "Oh, it's this text from Nate..."

Tracy ran over and grabbed the phone. "What? I don't get it."

"What's it say?" Diane asked.

"Milk was a had choice," Tracy read. I burst out laughing again.

"It's.." I kept giggling. "It's from Anchorman. We saw it this summer on TV, and we kept quoting lines from it all the time. See, it was really hot out..."

Tracy and Diane were both horrified.

"Penny, have you lost your mind?"

"What? It's a funny movie."

"You don't see what he's doing?"

What was he doing?

Tracy hit the delete button. "I'm keeping this tonight." She put my phone in her pocket. "Let's go back downstairs. Maybe being around the group will remind you why we're here."

I followed Tracy downstairs. But I had a smile on my face, remembering laughing so hard with Nate that I had tears running down my face. Good tears.

I had almost forgotten that there were good times with Nate.


I kept getting texts all week. And I hated to admit that I was beginning to look forward to them. Just like I used to look forward to going to my locker and talking to Ryan.

I told Tracy that they'd stopped, because she was demanding possession of my cell phone. And it wasn't like a few funny lines were going to make me forget about what he'd done.

I just needed to laugh.

I raced back to my locker to pack up before thanksgiving break. I checked my phone and began laughing at his newest quote.

"Hey, what's so funny?"

I almost didn't recognize the voice.

Ryan. He was smiling at me.

"Oh." I hadn't talked to him in weeks. I had been waiting for this moment, but didn't know what to do. "Oh, I just got a funny text."

"Well, it's good to see you smile again, Bloom."

I didn't know how to take that. "Um…" it was good to be talking to him again. If only I could've figured out what to say. I decided to be honest. "I guess I could say the same thing to you."

He laughed. "Yeah, you're right. Been a tough few weeks, huh?"

I just nodded. Where had this come from?

"Well." He shut his locker. "Have a great thanksgiving. I'll see you when we get back." He touched my shoulder as he walked off. My heart sank.

Right then I got another text from Nate, but I deleted it without looking. Funny quotes were all well and good, but that's not what I wanted.

It scared me that that brief encounter with Ryan meant so much to me.

I closed my eyes. I was thankful for the Club. For not dating.

Because there was no way Ryan Bauer could do anything but break my heart.

Chapter Thirty

"PENNY LANE, YOU AREN'T GOING to wear that are you?" Mom asked when I walked down to the kitchen on thanksgiving morning.

I looked down and inspected my outfit — a nice pair of jeans and a long-sleeved tee. "Ah, yes. This is standard Bloom holiday wear," She was busy wiping down the kitchen counter and looked more stressed than usual.

"I know, but we have guests this year."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize the Queen of England was stopping by."

"Penny Lane!" Mom snapped at me. I had forgotten how much entertaining took out of her. Rita and I had been doing our best to help her, peeling potatoes and cutting up vegetables. I had the cuts on my hand to prove it.

Dad walked in with the newspaper rolled up in his hand. "Penny Lane, please change for your mother, will you? She's a little upset that Lucy isn't coming home this weekend."

This was the first holiday our whole family wasn't together. Lucy was spending thanksgiving with her fiancé's family in Boston.

Mom wiped the sweat off her brow. "I know she'll be spending a whole week at Christmas, but that's going to be spent getting ready for the wedding..."

Rita entered the room in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Girls, change right this instant!"

As we walked upstairs Rita asked, "What did I miss?"

I just shook my head. Happy thanksgiving to me. Rita could tell that I was a nervous wreck.

"Penny, it's going to be fine!" she said. "You've got to be the bigger person. You don't want him to have any power."

The Taylor's were going to arrive in less than an hour, and I still had no idea what I was going to say to Nate. To be honest, I didn't even know what I was going to feel like when I saw him. Angry? Sad? E-mails and texts were one thing, but what would I feel when I looked in his eyes? That was going to reveal a lot. I just hoped I would be able to stay strong. He wasn't going to get to me. I had moved on.

I went to my room and found the white halter top Diane had lent me after Homecoming, when she told me that I needed to accentuate "what your mama gave you." So I put that on with black-and-white pinstripe pants and black heels. I headed downstairs thinking that I looked a lot better... maybe a little too good for my father.