"Um, well, members of the club" — I made sure she realized that she wasn't an official member yet — "know that this is much more than just not — "

"Yeah, but aren't you going on a date with Ryan Bauer?"

Rosanna said, the smug look on her narrow face coming through loud and clear.

All eyes were on me. The "original crew" — as Tracy, Diane, and I had been referring to the six of us — knew all about my outing with Ryan. And nobody seemed to think anything of it. Because there wasn't anything to it.

"Not really. We're going to a concert. Ryan and I have been friends for years, so it isn't a big deal."

"Uh-huh. So you aren't interested in Ryan?"

Diane glared at Rosanna. "Actually, that is none of your business."

"Well," Rosanna got up and flipped her thin, blond-highlighted hair, "you're asking me to give up dating guys, so I want to make sure our leader is staying true to the Club." She wasn't even trying to hide her sarcasm anymore.

"I'm not going on a date with Ryan," I repeated.

Diane got up from the floor. "Okay, all of you new to the Club join me upstairs. There are a few rules we need to go through to make sure people are here" — Diane looked directly at Rosanna — "for the right reasons."

Nearly twenty people went upstairs with Diane.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Jen asked. I was a little surprised. She held her hands up. "No, no, not the Club — I mean about Rosanna and the other girls here for their fifteen minutes of fame."

Oddly enough, I was thinking about the Club.


The school week went by so fast, Thursday was here before I knew it. I hadn't responded to Nate's e-mail, and he hadn't e-mailed again, I hated the fact that he'd said all the right things. I didn't want to deal with it, so I tried not to think about it. That meant not even telling my friends about it. That would make it more real. And I had enough to deal with already — not only with defending my non-date with Ryan, but also figuring out what a girl should wear on a non-date.

I just kept staring at my closet hoping the answer would present itself. At first I thought vintage Beatles T-shirt and jeans, but realized that would be too corny plus I was pretty sure the entire fifty something-year-old crowd was going to be wearing that. I heard the doorbell ring and quickly grabbed my white fitted tee and navy blue corduroy blazer.

I ran downstairs just in time to hear Dad tell Ryan, "You know, I think it's good that bands want to keep the music alive, but the audience shouldn't kid themselves — "

"Here I am.'" I interrupted. I was afraid that Ryan would bolt out the door if my parents kept this up. I gave my parents a wave as I reached for the door. I quickly glanced at Ryan and tried not to notice how particularly fine he looked in khakis and a blue shirt — Rita and I had joked that guys always wore that on a first date while girls always wore jeans and a black top. Since I wasn't wearing a black top, this was clearly not a date.

"Wait a second, Penny Lane." Dad was giving me a very weird look. Please don't lecture me, please don't lecture me. "Honey, you look great! Is that makeup you're wearing?"

Dear God, why, why now?

I looked over at Ryan, and he had the most wonderful smile on his face; he was clearly amused by my parents, most people were — except for their children.

I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Dad…"

"Oh, leave her alone, dear."

For once, it was Mom to the rescue.

"Have a fabulous time, Penny. You, too, Ryan. And, Penny, you do look beautiful. I can't believe how fast you're growing up. Why, it seems like it was only yesterday... "

"Yesterday..."my dad began to sing.

Maybe, I thought, I should just run back into my bedroom and hide... until I turn eighteen. But instead, I dug up the one ounce of dignity I had left. "If you're done embarrassing me, I think we'll be on our way"

"Well, Ryan," I said once we were free, "now you can see why I'm looking at colleges in Europe."

Ryan laughed and shook his head. "I think parents feel that it's their right to humiliate their children, probably as a way of getting back at their own parents. I'm sure you'll do the same."

Well, I could say one thing — I certainly was going to give my children normal names.

We approached the car, and Ryan opened up the passenger door for me. That certainly fit under the "date" category.

"Plus," Ryan said as he got in his seat, "your parents are only telling you the truth. You do look very beautiful tonight."

My mind was swirling as he pulled away from the curb.

Can someone please explain to me exactly what's going on?

The car ride was spent talking mostly about school and basic gossip about teachers, but only one thought kept racing through my mind: Ryan Bauer called me beautiful. Ryan Bauer thinks I'm beautiful.

Or maybe he was just being polite.

I looked across the booth at the restaurant and saw him studying the menu. His black wavy hair was still slightly damp from the shower he'd no doubt taken after practice. He looked up and caught me staring. "See anything that looks good to you?"

You have no idea.

I debated over what to eat. Rita always ordered salads on first dates, but I wasn't on a first date. Although I did wonder if Ryan was expecting me to eat light. But I was really hungry.

"What can I get you, sweetie?" Our middle-aged waitress looked down and smiled at me in an encouraging way, probably sensing we were on a... whatever we were on, I opted for a club sandwich with fries and a soda. I hated salads, and I would never approve of someone who gave up their identity for a guy, even a guy who was just a friend. I wasn't going to pretend to be someone that I wasn't. Although I was hoping that Ryan would order something similar.

"And what about you?" the waitress looked Ryan up and down, clearly impressed. I knew most girls would probably be offended by another woman checking out her date, or in this case, pseudo date, but I thought it was a compliment. Plus, she was like twenty years older than us.

"I'd like the green salad," Ryan began. My head started pounding.

No, no, no for the love of all that is — pure, you can't be ordering a salad, you're a sixteen-year-old boy!

". . with ranch dressing to start, then a double cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate shake."

That's my boy.

Well, not technically my boy.

"So, Penny, I'm sort of surprised you agreed to come out with me"

"Why would you say that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know — to be honest, I was a little frightened your group of girls were going to tie me down when they found out we were doing something together."

"You know, the things Todd says about the Club aren't true." I felt my cheeks begin to burn.

"I know.. ," He started playing with his straw wrapper. "I guess I sometimes don't know what to believe. But none of that matters, because you're here with me now."

I stared at him in silence, not sure what to say next.

"Anyways, I've really been looking forward to this evening." He looked up and smiled at me.

Me, too, I thought to myself. Maybe too much.

A few moments of silence passed between us, I found it hard to break away from his gaze.

"Ah, so, anyways." Ryan looked away and ran his hand through his hair. "Um, I hope you don't think less of me when I tell you this, but I don't know a lot about the Beatles. I probably only know a couple songs."

"What? You cannot be serious!" I practically screamed, forgetting that I was in a restaurant.

"Whoa, sorry! This is one of the reasons I wanted to come, to see what the big deal is about."

"What the big deal is about?" It was nice to know that Ryan had a flaw — and it was a major one. "the Beatles are the greatest band of all time... they... they…"

I put my head in my hands.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just started to remind myself of my parents, and it was very, very scary."

"Aw, come on!" Ryan took my chin and lifted it away from my hands. "I think it's cute."

"Yeah, cute in a demented way. Like a drunk puppy."

He shook his head, but kept his hand on my chin. "No, I mean cute in a completely irresistible way."

The smile on his face diminished as he started to slowly lean forward...

"Which one of you ordered the salad?"

Ryan sat back up as our food was delivered. I looked down at the food and tried to collect myself. I could practically feel Ryan's eyes on me.

He wasn't going to...

Last Saturday night with Rosanna flashed in my head. If he... the Lonely Hearts Club would be ruined.

But I was being silly. Ryan was just leaning in. He was just being friendly. He had always been friendly. I was clearly misinterpreting him.

I started to pick at my fries, wishing that I could escape to call Rita on my cell phone.

This was a major emergency.


"You can't be serious!"

Ryan rolled his eyes at me. "Just drop it already."

He handed me my ticket as we went through the entrance of the Civic Center. I noticed that the envelope from the ticket agent was addressed to Ryan, not his mom or stepdad, although they were supposedly the ones who'd gotten the tickets.

A shiver rippled through me as Ryan put his hand on the small of my back to guide us to our seats.

"Okay, then, be difficult." I sat down and crossed my arms.