I thought of her, with her Spanish pride and her piety, her great dignity, her upbringing. What would her reaction be if she were told: You have been living in sin all these years. This is now revealed. So you are no longer Queen of England.

I could not believe what the King was suggesting would ever take place. But the fact that the King could suggest it showed the intensity of his passion for me—for I knew that his conscience had conveniently reared its head at this time, not because of his desire to live in accordance with the rules of the Bible but because he wished to live in passion with me.

He was beaming at the pond in the middle of the garden; he was so pleased with himself because he had thought up this scheme, and I believed, at that moment, he thought I should be so dazzled at the thought of sharing his throne that I would immediately throw aside the principles I had so forcefully expressed, fall into his arms and become his mistress on the spot.

I was wary. Of course, there was a possibility that it could come to pass.

His hand was on my knee. I could feel its heat through the stuff of my gown.

“It will soon be,” he said. “We can trust Wolsey. He will get this in motion. I am sending him to the Pope. Then, my sweetheart, we shall be together.”

He put his arm around me and crushed me against him. His lips were on my ear. “What say you, Anne? What say you?”

“What can I say?” I replied. “You are not yet free.”

“But soon will be.”

“I am unsure.”

“Do you love me?”

“I am unsure,” I repeated.

“Unsure! I ride out here to see you. I offer you a crown… and you are unsure!”

“I do not look for a crown from my husband… only fidelity and love.”

“But you shall have all three. I swear I'll not look at another. You shall have no rival. Say that you love me.”

“I must think on this.”

“You do not love some other?”

“No longer. I loved Henry Percy, but he was taken from me. When one has suffered in that way once, one is chary of doing so again.”

“You loved that spindle-legged, spineless creature?”

“Yes. I loved him and I lost him; and now he is most unhappy.”

“He would never be anything else. Shrewsbury's girl despises him as any woman of spirit would.”

“But I loved him.”

“Oh come… come…It would not have done.” He was suspicious suddenly. “Was he your lover?”

“My principles have always been the same. I never was and never will be any man's mistress.”

“Soon you will be Queen.”

“I do not know.”

He was bewildered. He was offering me himself, the greatest catch in the kingdom and a crown to go with it… and I was hesitating.

He took my hand. “We will plight our troth. Give me that ring.” It was one which I wore on my middle finger. It had been in the family for a number of years. “And I shall give you a ring. It will be a sign. Come, Anne, give me the ring.”

I shook my head. “Your Grace must understand that all this has happened so suddenly. I am bewildered. Please understand.”

He was all softness. His moods changed quickly. “I know. This has dazzled you. You were not expecting such a prospect. Let me be with you tonight and I will show you how it is between us two.”

“No,” I said firmly. “I could not be happy.”

He turned to me almost angrily. I was certain then that he had thought the project he was opening before me would overwhelm and delight me to such an extent that I would fall into his arms. Now he was the small boy again about to be deprived of a coveted toy. His hot hands burned through my dress. He said roughly: “You forget to whom you speak. I could command you. I could take you here and now if I wished and snap my fingers at this virgin's talk.”

I stood up and holding my head high, I said: “That is true. You could do that. But you will not because if you did I should never love you. And being a king you are also a knight and I should be much mistaken if you, powerful as you are, ever forgot the laws of chivalry, which you would most certainly do if you behaved in the way you suggest toward an unprotected woman.”

It was the right note. The lust left his eyes and there was the shining knight, courteous and chivalrous. The thought occurred to me then: It would not be difficult to handle him.

“And now, my lord,” I went on, “if you will give me leave to retire, I shall do so; and my stepmother and I will endeavor to find hospitality which, though it will not be worthy of you, will be the best we can offer as your arrival was unexpected.”

He stood close to me and taking my hand, he kissed my finger with the ring for which he had asked.

“Anne… Anne, I am beside myself with longing for you.”

“If that be so, my lord, you will give me time to ponder on what you have told me.”

“And then I shall have my answer?”

“Yes, then you shall have it.”

“I cannot leave here until I know you will be mine.”

“I will tell you before you leave tomorrow morning.”

“Then I must possess myself in patience.”

He was complacent. He could not believe that even I, who had been so difficult to woo, could refuse a crown.

When I was alone, I felt exhausted.

I found it hard to believe that I had heard correctly. He would rid himself of Katharine and marry me! How could that possibly be? Whatever he said, he was married to Katharine. No one could discard the daughter of kings just because she was no longer desirable.

That was the crux of the matter. I dismissed the conscience as I felt it deserved to be. The fact was he was tired of Katharine and he had been for a long time, and he was obsessed by his desire for me. How I wished I could have consulted Marguerite about the matter. I wondered what she, who was essentially worldly, would say.

What if I refused? How long would he pursue me? I had had little warning signs even now. That expression of impatience in his eyes…He was not accustomed to being denied. To give way to him would mean to become his mistress. But was there the faintest possibility that I could become his Queen?

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the crown on my head. I could not deny that the thought dazzled me. To be the Queen presiding over the Court. All would be my slaves, bowing to my will—including the King Master Wolsey, who had called me a foolish girl and had destroyed my marriage to the man I had loved disinterestedly, would have to pay homage to me. That would give me great pleasure.

I should have to marry sometime… someone my father would choose for me. It would not be a love affair—just a suitable match which my father would want. But what of the most brilliant match of all: Queen of England? Could it be possible? It might just be. He was powerful, so was Wolsey…if they worked for it…if they could placate the Emperor Charles…Excitement possessed me. It was a bewildering but exhilarating prospect.

I dressed myself with care—scarlet velvet, hanging sleeves and a red band about my throat with its one solitary diamond. Excitement had added something to my eyes; they looked enormous and very bright, and the faintest color showed in my cheeks.

I went down to the great hall. My stepmother had performed a miracle. She had set them to work in the kitchens and they had provided an excellent meal. The King sat at the head of the table, my stepmother

on one side of him, I on the other.

He was beaming, well content.

He liked my stepmother's awe of him and her anxiety that the food should be well served and to his liking. He kept reassuring her that he had rarely enjoyed a meal so much.

Then he turned to me as though to say that it was my presence that made his pleasure.

Later I sang and played the lute and he and I sang a duet.

It must have been rarely that he spent an evening without all the pomp and ceremony to which he was accustomed; but it was quite clear to everyone that he was pleased and happy.

When I retired to my room, I found sleep impossible. I had a terrible fear that in spite of my comments on chivalry he might come to me. But he did not.

I rose early in the morning. I had expected that by the light of day I should see the absurdity of what he had suggested and realize it was just empty talk to get access to my bed. But instead it seemed to me that there was a faint possibility that it could come to pass. I had made up my mind that I was going to accept him. I would let him know that if he were free I would be his wife.

Now it began to look like an exciting adventure.

He was eagerly waiting to see me.

He looked at me yearningly. Surely he loved me. He could not have been so restrained if he had not. Again I felt that tenderness toward him. I thought I could be quite fond of him; and a woman would be a fool to turn her back on such a glittering proposal.

He said: “Have you aught to say to me, Anne?”

I took the ring from my finger and gave it to him. I felt happy to see the joy which suffused his face. He closed his eyes as if in an ecstasy. I thought: He really does love me. And I experienced something more than gratification. I felt happy.

The ring was a tight fit on his little finger. Then he took off one of his rings and placed it on the middle finger of my left hand. It was too big for any other.

“Now we have plighted our troth,” he said, “and I am happy. Soon you and I will be together. I shall lose no time in bringing this about. You will soon come back to Court.”

I said that I was so overwhelmed that I needed a little time in the quiet of the country to think about what had happened.