“What shall I do, George?”
“You will have to wait for him to make the next move.”
“And when he does?”
“It depends on what that move is.”
“If he is annoyed, and I somehow think he will be, for it must be a bitter blow to him that someone refuses him, what do you think he will do?”
George shrugged his shoulders. “It will be a blow, yes, but you tackled it in the right way… all that talk of virtue will touch him. He'd think of the recording angel up there making a few notes, and in his heart he knows that when his time comes he can't take his crown and the power and the glory with him. Wait and see what comes next. He may accept what you say and give you up as the one prey he was unable to catch. On the other hand, when he thinks about your temerity in refusing him, he may trump up some charge and have you dismissed from Court. I think you must be prepared for that. Your presence here would remind him of his failure and I do not think he would like that.”
“I should hate to go, George. It was so dull… but now it would be more so.”
“There is an alternative.”
“What?”
“Follow in our sister's footsteps.”
“That I should never do! And you should know better than to suggest it. I have been so ashamed of Mary. It is so humiliating… that…and what happened at the French Court.”
“Those French gallants were not so gallant after all, I know.”
“All talking of her in that ribald way!”
“Henry would not do that. He does not discuss the details of his amours with anyone. It would be against his image of himself. Besides, I am sure he convinces himself that he is quite faithful to the Queen.”
“I am very uneasy.”
“If anyone can handle this, you can. Be prepared for whichever way the wind blows. I am. And if we are stripped of our honors, we shall have to go back to merchanting in London. At least it would be interesting.”
“George,” I said, “you are a comfort. I knew you would be.”
“Don't fret. Whatever it is, we'll face it.”
Thomas noticed that I was preoccupied.
I had taken to wandering off down to the river—the Court was at Greenwich—and watching the boats sail by. I hardly saw them because I was thinking deeply of all I was going to miss in this life.
It was only a day since the King had spoken to me and I had not seen him since. At any moment I expected to be told that I was to leave. He would not tell me himself. There would be some order, vaguely suggesting that it would be better for me to return to Hever.
Thomas had seen me and came to talk to me.
“Why so sad? Why alone? How have you managed to escape your admirers?”
“It seems that I have not done so entirely,” I replied.
“This one would find you wherever you were. But tell me, Anne, what is on your mind?”
“It is the King,” I said.
“He has made certain suggestions?”
“You have guessed right.”
“I thought I saw it coming.”
“It was so obvious to you then?”
“Fairly. He is not one to hide his feelings. I saw his eyes following you with a certain expression. Interest is too mild a word to describe it.”
“I am afraid.”
He nodded.
“You understand that I do not want to be like my sister.”
“I do. You are proud. You would not surrender until you love. Is that so?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Dear Anne, how I wish…”
“Life is as we make it, I suppose. It is no use wishing it were different.”
“Where's the harm in wishing?”
“None, I suppose, as long as you remember that it cannot be.”
“I often think of those days at Hever and Allington… and in Nor-folk. It seems like fate that our families should be together both in Kent and in Norfolk. We should have plighted our troth then.”
“As children?”
“Why not? Was there not always that special feeling between us?”
“If I remember rightly, both you and George despised me for my youth and sex.”
“Put that down to the folly of the young.”
“You and George used to talk of great adventures, how you would go forth and win battles and honors. I do not remember that I had any part in them.”
“But I always loved you, Anne.”
“Thomas, I think that, like so many of your sex, love is something apart from the rest of your lives…a pleasant diversion to return to when the adventures begin to pall.”
“Was that how it was with Percy?”
I shook my head sadly. “No … that was where he was different. With him, I should always have been first.”
“So much so that he allowed himself to be married off very quickly to Shrewsbury's daughter.”
“Poor Henry, he just could not stand out against the pressure. You know how fearsome Northumberland could be. Besides, the King insisted. So did Wolsey.”
“They made quite an issue of that affair.”
I shivered and he turned to me. “Let's get away from Court. Let's defy them all.”
I laughed at him. “You have been sitting too long in the sun,” I told him, and I remembered that was what the King had said of me.
“You know Elizabeth and I do not live together. Our marriage is a disaster.”
“Most marriages seem to be,” I replied.
“They are usually brought about for the convenience of the family.”
“Is that the reason why they are so unsuccessful?”
“Who knows? Anne, what are you going to do?”
“I deplore the manner in which your sex treats mine. You think of us as playthings for a while, and when that particular toy no longer excites you, you reach for another. Do you think I would ever be submitted to such humiliation?”
“No.”
“Therefore I will be no man's mistress.”
“Not even the King's?”
I shook my head vehemently.
“You're playing a dangerous game, Anne.”
“It was not of my choosing.”
“In a way you are to blame. You have made yourself outstanding at Court.”
“I have been myself. That is all I can be.”
“There is always something to be done. I think you care for me a little. Just suppose they had not married me off … just suppose I were free.”
“You are married, Thomas, so there is no point in considering the matter.”
I touched the jeweled tablet which I wore on a chain about my waist. It was a favorite trinket and I was hardly ever without it. It had my initials engraved on it. I was thinking of what might have happened if Thomas had not been married. Perhaps it would have been a match which could have been approved by my father. The Wyatts were old friends. There would doubtless have been haggling over my dowry… but Sir Henry would not have been too hard. I was very fond of Thomas… but I was not really in love with him. I told myself I never would be in love again.
One of the links in the chain had broken and the tablet slipped off. I turned it over in my hand; it reminded me of Hever and Allington and the old days.
“You give up too easily, Anne,” he said, coming nearer to me. “Am I going to spend the rest of my days longing for what might have been?”
I smiled at him. I did not believe he was as deeply involved as he made out to be. He was a practiced lover and he had always known how to use words effectively: he was the sort of man who would know how to touch the heart of a susceptible girl. But I was not susceptible. And I had no more intention of becoming Thomas Wyatt's mistress than I had the King's.
“Think about it, Anne. Think about us.”
He leaned farther toward me and took the tablet from my hand.
“I remember this trinket well.”
“I have had it for years.”
He held it in his hand and looked at it lovingly.
I stood up and held out my hand for it. He was beside me, laughing, with a mocking glint in his eyes.
“I shall keep it.”
“No. You will give it back.”
“It will be a memento… something that has been near you. I shall sleep with it under my pillow in the hope that in my dreams that which you deny me will be mine.”
“You are ridiculous, Thomas. Give me the tablet.”
He took a few paces backward, laughing at me. He held out his hand. “Come and get it,” he said.
As I went to get it, he snatched his hand away and ran.
“Give it back,” I shouted.
“It is mine,” he called over his shoulder. “I shall never let it go.”
He ran and I went after him. He outstripped me. As he turned the corner of the palace, he held up his hand and the trinket glistened in the sun.
Then he was gone.
I did not see the King for several days. I thought his attitude was very strange, as it had been throughout our acquaintance. I could not understand why there should have been those great efforts to stop my marrying either James Butler or Henry Percy, and then the long silence. And now the passionate avowal and more silence. It was really very odd. I did wonder, having heard from both George and Thomas, who in their positions at Court knew something of the intimate nature of the King's character, whether his conduct was in some way connected with his relationship with Mary.
But it was more likely to be annoyance with me. He was probably indicating how much he resented my refusal to accept his proposal. Or it may have been that he made such declarations to any woman who might interest him momentarily.
Weston had gathered us together. The King wished a masque to be devised which would outshine all others. It was to take place at Greenwich, where the Court would be for the occasion, and it was to honor the departing French ambassadors.
When the King wanted to impress foreigners—and particularly the French—he liked the entertainment to be of special grandeur.
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