And determinedly turned her mind to her most urgent task: tending to her wounded wolf.






Chapter Fifteen

Accomplishing that goal—making her peace with Tristan—arranging to do so, required a degree of ingenuity and bold-faced recklessness she’d never before had to employ. But she had no choice. She summoned Gasthorpe, boldly gave him orders, arranged to hire a carriage and be conveyed to the mews behind Green Street, the coachman to wait for her return.

All, of course, with the firm insistence that under no circumstances was his-lordship-the-earl to be informed. She’d discovered a ready intelligence in Gasthorpe; although she hadn’t liked subverting him from his loyalty to Tristan, when all was said and done, it was for Tristan’s own good.

When, in the darkness of late evening, she stood in the bushes at the end of Tristan’s garden and saw light shining from the windows of his study, she felt vindicated in every respect.

He hadn’t gone out to any ball or dinner. Given her absence from the ton, the fact that he, too, wasn’t attending the usual events would be generating intense speculation. Following the path through the bushes and farther to where it skirted the house, she wondered how immediate he would wish their wedding to be. For herself, having made her decision, she didn’t truly care…or, if she did, she would rather it was sooner than later.

Less time to anticipate how things would work out—much better to take the plunge and get straight on with it.

Her lips lifted. She suspected he would share that opinion, if not for quite the same reasons.

Pausing outside the study, she stood on tiptoe and peeked in; the floor was considerably higher than the ground. Tristan was seated at his desk, his back to her, his head bent as he worked. A pile of papers sat on his right; on his left, a ledger lay open.

She could see enough to be sure he was alone.

Indeed, as he turned to check an entry in the ledger and she glimpsed his face, he looked very much alone. A lone wolf who’d had to change his solitary ways and live among the ton, with title, houses, and dependents, and all the associated demands.

He’d given up his freedom, his exciting, dangerous, and lonely life, and picked up the reins that had been left to his care without complaint.

In return, he’d asked for little, either in excuse, or as reward.

The one thing he had asked of this new life was to have her as his wife. He’d offered her all she could hope for, given her all she could and would accept.

In return, she’d given him her body, but not what he’d wanted most. She hadn’t given him her trust. Or her heart.

Or rather, she had, but she’d never admitted it. Never told him.

She was there to rectify that omission.

Turning away, taking care to tread silently, she continued toward the morning room. She’d guessed he would stay in and work at estate matters, all the matters he’d no doubt been neglecting while concentrating on catching Mountford. The study was where she’d hoped he’d be; she’d seen both library and study, and it was the study that held the most definite impression of him, of being the room to which he would retreat. His lair.

She was glad to have been proved right; the library was in the other wing, across the front hall.

Reaching the French doors through which they’d entered on her previous visit, she placed herself squarely before them, braced her hands on the frame as he had—using both hands rather than just one—and pushed sharply.

The doors rattled, but remained closed.

“Damn!” She frowned at them, then stepped close and put her shoulder to the spot. She counted to three, then flung her weight against the doors.

They popped open; she only just saved herself from sprawling on the floor.

Regaining her balance, she whirled and closed the doors, then, catching her cloak about her, slunk silently into the room. She waited, breath bated, to see if anyone had been alerted; she didn’t think she’d made much noise.

No footsteps sounded; no one came. Her heartbeat gradually slowed.

Cautiously, she went forward. The last thing she wished was to be discovered breaking into this house in order to meet illicitly with its master; if she were caught, once they wed, she’d have to dismiss, or bribe, the entire staff. She didn’t want to have to face the choice.

She checked the front hall. As before, at this time of night there were no footmen hovering; Havers, the butler, would be belowstairs. Her way was clear; she slipped into the shadows of the corridor leading to the study with a prayer on her lips.

In thanks for what she’d thus far received, and with hope that her luck would hold.

Halting outside the study door, she faced the panels, and tried to imagine, in a last-minute rehearsal, how their conversation would go…but her mind stubbornly remained blank.

She had to get on with it, with her apology and her declaration. Drawing in a deep breath, she grasped the doorknob.

It jerked out of her grip; the door was flung wide.

She blinked, and found Tristan beside her. Towering over her.

He looked past her, down the corridor, then seized her hand and pulled her into the room. Lowering the pistol he held in his other hand, he released her and closed the door.

She stared at the pistol. “Good heavens!” She lifted stunned eyes to his face. “Would you have shot me?”

His eyes narrowed. “Not you. I didn’t know who…” His lips thinned. He turned away. “Creeping up on me is never wise.”

She opened her eyes wide. “I’ll remember that in future.”

He prowled to a sideboard and laid the pistol in the display case atop it. His gaze was dark as he glanced back at her, then returned to stand by the desk.

She remained where she’d halted, more or less in the middle of the room. It wasn’t a big room, and he was in it.

His gaze rose to her face. Hardened. “What are you doing here? No—wait!” He held up a hand. “First tell me how you got here.”

She’d expected that tack. Clasping her hands, she nodded. “You didn’t call—not that I’d expected it”—she had, but had realized her error—“so I had to call here. As we’ve previously discovered, me calling during the customary visiting hours is unlikely to provide us with much chance of private conversation, so…” She dragged in a huge breath and rushed on, “I summoned Gasthorpe, and hired a coach through him—I insisted he keep the matter strictly private, so you mustn’t hold that against him. The coach—”

She told him all, stressing that the coach with coachman and footman was waiting in the mews to take her home. When she came to the end of her recitation, he let a moment pass, then faintly raised his brows—the first change in his expression since she’d entered the room.

He shifted and leaned back against the edge of the desk. His gaze remained on her face. “Jeremy—where does he think you are?”

“He and Humphrey are quite sure I’m asleep. They’ve thrown themselves into making sense of Cedric’s journals; they’re engrossed.”

A subtle change rippled across his features, sharpening, hardening; she quickly added, “Despite that, Jeremy did make sure the locks were all changed, as you suggested.”

He held her gaze; a long moment passed, then he inclined his head fractionally, acknowledging she’d read his thoughts accurately. Dampening an urge to smile, she went on, “Regardless, I’ve been keeping Henrietta in my room at night, so she won’t wander…” And disturb her, worry her. She blinked, and continued, “So I had to take her with me when I left this evening—she’s with Biggs in the kitchen at Number 12.”

Tristan considered. Inwardly humphed. She’d covered all the necessary details; he could rest easy on that score. She was there, safe; she’d even arranged her safe return. He settled against the desk, crossed his arms. Let his gaze, fixed on her face, grow even more intent. “So why are you here?”

She met his gaze directly, steadily, perfectly calm. “I’ve come to apologize.”

He raised his brows; she went on, “I should have remembered about those first attacks, and told you of them, but what with all that’s happened more recently, they’d drifted to the back of my mind.” She studied his eyes, considering rather than searching; he realized she was assembling her words as she went—this was no rehearsed speech.

“Nevertheless, at the time the attacks occurred, we hadn’t met, and there was no other who considered me important in that vein, such that I would feel obliged to inform them. Warn them.”

She lifted her chin, still held his eyes. “I accept and concede that the situation has now changed, that I’m important to you, and that you therefore need to know….” She hesitated, frowned at him, then reluctantly amended, “Perhaps even have a right to know, of anything that constitutes a threat to me.”

Again she paused, as if reviewing her words, then straightened and nodded, her eyes refocusing on his. “So I apologize unequivocally for not telling you of those incidents, for not recognizing that I should.”

He blinked, slowly; he hadn’t expected an apology in such thorough and crystal-clear terms. His nerves started tingling; a nervous eagerness gripped him. He recognized his typical reaction to being on the brink of success. To having victory—complete and absolute—within his grasp.

Of being only one step away from seizing it.

“You agree that I have a right to know of any threat to you?”

She met his gaze, nodded decisively. “Yes.”

He considered for only a heartbeat, then asked, “Do I take it you agree to marry me?”