"Give me back my hand, my lord," she said softly.

Smiling at her, he released her, but not before kissing the palm of it once again. "You are sure?"

"I am told the first time hurts," she replied. "It will hurt no less if the first time is months from now, I am thinking, my lord Ranulf."

"I will be as gentle as I can," he promised her.

"I know," she said, before turning to leave him standing upon the church steps, his mind awhirl, his heart thumping with anticipation.


***

On the high board at dinnertime was a slender silver holder containing two bright yellow daffodils. It was a secret signal between them, a reminder of the night to come. She smiled at him, and, he believed, there was something seductive in her smile. Something he had never seen before. He felt a tightness in his nether region, and recognized the stirrings of serious lust. By the holy rood, he wanted her! How sweet her lips had been this, afternoon. She was fresh and innocent, yet alluring. Aye! He wanted her very much!

What had she done, Elf asked herself, in the brief madness that had enveloped her when he kissed her? She had committed herself quite boldly to an irreversible course of action. Was she really ready? Would she ever be ready? She was a wife by a twist of fate. A wife in all ways but one. And tomorrow? Tomorrow she would be a wife in every sense of the word. She sneaked a look at this man to whom she would be so irrevocably bound. Though he was twice her age, he did not really seem old. Certainly he could father children on her.

What was she thinking, Ranulf wondered, knowing he was being perused. Would she ever love him? Should he tell her that he loved her? Nay, that would not be wise. What if she did not believe him? They had, after all, been married for only four months. Besides, love was not necessary to a good Christian marriage. She should respect him, and how could she if he admitted to such a weakness as love? He had been patient and kind with her, and she had responded by not keeping him waiting forever. That indicated that she respected him. Best not to ruin a good relationship. He picked up the haunch of a broiled rabbit and began to eat it.

Elf cudgled her brain. What had the clothier’s wife said? Ranulf would kiss her, and caress her breasts and other body parts. What body parts? He seemed to enjoy kissing her hand and fingers, Elf thought. Was there anything else? Well, she would certainly know soon enough. And the touching, Mistress Martha had said, would arouse his manhood, and then… She couldn't believe what she had said to him this afternoon. How brazen she had been. What on earth had possessed her?

He leaned his head, his mouth close to her ear. "If you have changed your mind, Eleanore, I will understand," he said so only she might hear him.

"No!" Dear heaven! She had just given up the only opportunity she would get to stop this madness. Why had she said no?

A minstrel had asked shelter of them this night. Now he took up his small harp and began to play for the small company in the hall. The firelight played brightly against the stone walls. The flames of the candles flickered and danced. Ranulf took her hand in his as the bard sang of unrequited love and passion. When he had finished and been shown appreciation by the clapping of his small audience, Elf rose and slipped from the hall.

The tub had been set up that night, and she quickly bathed before Ranulf might come into the solar. "Leave the tub for my lord if he so desires," she told Willa. "Go into the hall and ask him."

When Willa returned she told her mistress, "The lord says he will bathe himself this night, lady. He says he will not be long."

Elf went into the bedchamber, where old Ida was plumping the pillows upon the bed. "Go and find your pallet," Elf said. "The sun has long ago set, and you are not as young as you once were."

"I've put a knife beneath the bed to cut the pain," Ida told her mistress.

"What?" Elf looked puzzled.

"Lady, I am not so old that I do not know what has been going on these few months. You are still a virgin, but you decided today to remedy that sad state tonight. The knife will cut your pain when he enters into you the first time. It is a well-known fact."

Elf flushed. "Is it?"

"Well, lady, you would not be knowing such things being in the convent since you were scarce little more than a babe, but it is so. You are not afraid, are you? There is no need to be afraid."

"I am not afraid," Elf said calmly, but she would be if she didn't get her old nursemaid to leave the bedchamber. This was certainly not a subject she was comfortable discussing with Ida.

"Good," the old woman said. "Then, I shall leave you. Willa and I will sleep in the hall tonight, and every night from now on, lady. You will want your privacy, and that door scarce allows it." She shuffled from the bedchamber, leaving Elf quite astounded.

Did everyone at Ashlin know the state of her marriage, Elf wondered as she unbraided her hair and brushed it out? Was nothing a secret? But she did realize that in any small community, there were no real secrets. There had certainly been none at St. Frideswide's. Slowly she brushed her long red-gold hair, rebraiding it into a single plait, then climbing into bed. Where was Ranulf? Ah, she realized, Ranulf might not know that everyone at Ashlin was aware of their marital matters, and so he had probably remained in the hall with Fulk and his men, as was his custom each evening. Elf smiled and stretched her limbs beneath the coverlet. The room was dim, not overly cold this night. Her eyes grew heavy, and soon she fell asleep.

Looking down on her, Ranulf thought Elf was surely the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her thick dark lashes grazed her pale cheeks. Her sensuous little mouth was the most tempting mouth he had known. He had bathed and entered their chamber as quietly as he could. Now he raised the coverlet to slip into bed. Should he awaken her… or should he allow nature to take its course when she finally awoke? Unable to help himself, he leaned over and lightly kissed her mouth.

Elf opened her gray-blue eyes and looked into his hazel ones. "You need not have stayed so long in the hall, my lord. It seems the entire manor knows of our private matters," she told him. "Did you not see that Ida and Willa have gone to sleep in the hall? Ida says the door does not give us the privacy we need."

He laughed softly. "So, we are the talk of Ashlin, petite. How did all this come about?" Pulling up his pillows so he might sit, he drew her onto his lap.

Her heart had jumped when he moved her into his arms, but Elf managed not to show any nerves. "Ida told me she put a knife beneath the bed to cut the pain of my defloration," Elf told him.

"Why do women who should know better believe that old wives' tale?" He chuckled. "Mary’s honor, petite, you are not fearful, are you? I will not allow you to be afraid of making love!"

"Why does everyone ask me if I am afraid?" Her heart-shaped face was the picture of annoyance, and he almost laughed aloud. "If a husband and wife’s coming together in carnal fashion is pleasant, then why should I be afraid? Oh, I know, the first time will be strange, and yes, I know it will hurt when you pierce my maidenhead, but frankly I am more curious as to where everything goes than I am concerned about a brief pain. No, Ranulf, I am not afraid!"

"You are adorable," he said with a sigh. "Now I know why no woman has ever attracted me enough to induce me into offering marriage. It was obviously God’s plan that you be my wife, Eleanore."

To his surprise and delight, she gave him a quick kiss upon his lips. "Are you wooing me, my lord Ranulf? If you are, I like it very much." She snuggled against his chest.

"Dear Lord, help me not to hurry her," he prayed silently. Then his hand reached out to stroke her head. "Your hair is the most beautiful color. It is not a fiery red-gold, but rather a soft red-gold. Have you ever cut it, Eleanore?" His fingers pulled the ribbon holding her plait, and undid it. Then they began to unbraid her long hair. "I want to see you naked with only your lovely tresses for adornment, petite." He took up a thick handful of the hair, and pressed it to his lips. "Ummm, you smell of lavender."

Naked? He wanted to see her naked? Now, here was something she hadn't considered. "Is it fitting that you see me… naked? I did not know that husbands saw their wives naked, Ranulf."

"But they do," he assured her. "Did not God send you into this world unclothed, Eleanore? We are taught to be ashamed of our bodies, but why should we? God gave us those bodies."

"Oh." Her voice had gotten very small.

Ranulf tipped her face up to his. "You are beautiful, petite, and I want to see you as God fashioned you. I am pleased you are so chaste, but there is little need for modesty with your husband."

Her cheeks were warm with her blushes at his frankness, but she did not look away from him. "There is so much I do not know, Ranulf. I must rely upon you to guide me."

His arm cradled her. Now the fingers of the hand of his other arm began to unlace the ribbons that closed the front of her chemise. Elf’s eyes grew wide as her bosom was slowly revealed. She wasn't certain at all that she was even breathing, but she seemed to be. The long fingers pushed aside the fabric slowly, slowly, until the chemise slid from her shoulders, pooling just below her waist to rest upon her hips.