I did not answer.
"I hope you are not still put out with me. I think I rather allowed my feeling to get the better of my good manners."
Still I did not answer.
"I am sorry," he went on humbly. "You must forgive me."
"It is of no importance. Please forget it."
"You are very generous."
"I must go in now."
"There is so much to do at the rectory." He spoke mockingly, finishing my sentence for me.
"That is true," I retorted sharply.
"There is quite a flutter of excitement at the House," he went on.
In spite of myself I waited to hear what had caused this.
"We are expecting them to announce it shortly."
I felt the blood rushing to my head.
"Lavinia and Dougal," he added. "My mother is delighted."
I looked at him steadily, my eyebrows raised.
He nodded, smiling—was it maliciously? "My mother says there is no need to delay ... long. Why should they? It is not as though they were strangers. They have known each other for a long time. They have suddenly realized how they feel. People do, you know. My mother is all for an early wedding. I am sure you will be pleased for them, for you know them both so well."
"It is most ... suitable."
"That's what my mother thinks."
I thought angrily: Yes, since Dougal acquired a title and a fortune and the London season did not produce anyone of higher rank.
"I daresay Lavinia will be coming over to tell you the good news. Dougal too, perhaps. They will want you to give them your blessing."
I felt a great need to get away from his probing eyes. I knew what he was telling me. You have lost Dougal. My mother will never let him slip out of her hands now. It was different before he came into this glory.
He raised his hand, inclined his head and, murmuring "Au revoir," rode off.
A month after the arrival of Dougal at Framling the engagement was announced between the Earl of Tenleigh and the beautiful Miss Lavinia Framling, the debutante of the season.
I did not go to Framling to congratulate Lavinia. She came to me. I could see at once that she was disturbed.
"What's the matter?" I asked. "You don't look like the happy betrothed."
"It's that woman ... Janine. She wants more money."
"I told you how it is with blackmailers. You should never submit in the first place."
"Why should this have happened to me?"
"You have to pay for your sins."
"I only did what a lot of people do." She was aggrieved and I felt a sudden anger sweep over me. She had had so much and now she had taken Dougal. I had analysed my feelings for him and I was desperately hurt. But I was honest enough to admit to myself that it was mainly my pride that had been wounded. It had been hard for me to realize that at first, for I had enjoyed his friendship and I had thought of eventual marriage as a pleasant prospect. It would have been a wonderful experience to be loved by a man whom I could trust.
But could I have trusted him if our close relationship, which might have developed into a serious commitment, could have been shattered by the appearance of a girl just because she happened to be outstandingly beautiful?
I whipped up my anger against Lavinia. These Framlings seemed to think the whole world was made for them. Lavinia believed she could commit the greatest indiscretion, have a child even and everyone should cover up for her and leave her to sail happily on. As for her brother, he had thought he could insult me and then come along and behave as though nothing untoward had happened.
I was tired of the Framlings.
"And," Lavinia, was saying, "I haven't come here to be quoted at from the Bible. I suppose that is in the Bible. You, Miss Know-all, would be aware of that."
"I'm sorry, Lavinia. You must get yourself out of your own troubles."
"Oh, Drusilla." She had run to me and flung her arms round my neck. "Help me, please. I know you can. I didn't mean to say those silly things. I'm at the end of my tether. I am really. If Mama or Dougal found out ... I'd just kill myself ... I've thought about jumping out of my window."
"You'd land on the furze bush, which would be very uncomfortable."
"Oh, help me, please, Drusilla."
"How can I?"
"I thought you might see her."
"I? What good would that do?"
"She likes you. She thinks you're interesting. She told me you were worth a dozen of me. I know she's right."
"Thanks. I'll remember that. But talking to her would do no good."
"It might ... if you did."
"What could I say?"
"You could tell her how good I've been so far and if she would wait a little time ... until I'm married ... I'll be very rich and I'll do something for her then. I will. I promise."
"I don't think she would believe in your promises, Lavinia."
"You promise for me. Tell her you'll be a sort of witness and you'll make sure she gets the money. It is only a matter of waiting."
"I think you should go to your mother or your brother or Dougal and tell the truth."
"How could I? Dougal might refuse to marry me."
"I believe he is a very understanding young man."
"He wouldn't understand. He'd be furious. He believes in perfection."
"He has a shock waiting for him when he marries you."
"I am going to try to be a good wife to him."
What a fool he is! I thought. He wants to marry Lavinia without knowing her. Even the village idiot would know better than that; and Dougal is supposed to be clever! Well, he would discover, I thought, with a certain satisfaction—and Lavinia was not the sort to change just because she was married to the indulgent husband he would probably be.
Lavinia went on pleadingly, "We've been such good friends ... ever since we met."
"I remember the time well. You were not the most charming of hostesses. It is rather unwise of you to recall that occasion if you are trying to show the loving nature of our relationship."
"Stop being clever, Drusilla. You are too clever and always showing off. Men don't like it. I never do that."
"You are showing off, as you call it, all the time."
"Yes, but only in the right way. Drusilla, stop beating about the bush. Do say you'll help me. I know you will in the long run. You are just making me suffer."
"But what can I do?"
"I told you. Go and see Janine. Explain to her."
"Why don't you?"
"How could I go to London? You could ... easily. You can just say you have gone to see Polly."
I hesitated. I always felt better after a visit to Polly. She would understand how I felt about Dougal's engagement. I had no need to go into explanations with Polly. I could talk to her as I could to myself. I could see Fleur. The child was beginning to get a hold on me. She could pronounce her version of my name. Polly had written, "You should hear Eff go on at her. Who's got a nice Aunty Drusilla, eh? Whose Aunty Drusilla is coming to see her soon?' That's how she goes on." Yes, it would be wonderful to be with Polly, Eff and Fleur. Moreover, I had a raging curiosity to see Janine.
Lavinia could see that I was wavering.
"You love Fleur," she said. "She's a little darling."
"How do you know? You never see her."
"I'm going to ... when I get this sorted out. When I know Dougal better I'll tell him. I will, really. I know he'll say I can have her with me."
"That would be the last thing Fleur would want. Don't you understand that children are not pieces to be moved round a board as people want to for their convenience?"
"You're being the governess again."
"Somebody has to try to teach you a few facts of life."
"I know. I'm wicked. But I can't help it. I'm trying to be good. Once I'm married to Dougal I shall settle down. Oh please ... please, Drusilla."
"Where does she live?"
"I've written it down. I went there to take the fifty pounds. I'll tell you how to get there. It's not so very far from Polly's place."
I took the address. "Fiddler's Green, Number 20," said Lavinia. "It's easy to find."
"Did you take a cab?"
"Yes, I did. The driver looked surprised, but I made him wait for me to come back. I didn't want anyone to know where I was. It was awful . . '. and then ... her. She sneered at me. She kept calling me the Countess. Then she told me I had to find the money, for if I didn't come with it she was going to let the world know what I had done. She said I had deserted my child and a lot of other unpleasant things. I said I hadn't. I'd found a good home for the child. She said, 'Drusilla found that. You would probably have left her on someone's doorstep so that you could go on with your life.' I told her she was wrong. I did care about Fleur and when I was married I was going to take her. I know it will be all right once I am married."
"I shall not come to your wedding, Lavinia. It's such a mockery really. Have you thought how you are deceiving Dougal? You will be standing there in virginal white ..."
"Oh, shut up. Are you going to help me or not? Can't you see how miserable I am?"
"I can't do anything. / haven't any money."
"I'm not saying give her money. I just know if you talked to her she'd listen to reason."
"No, she wouldn't."
"She would. She has always admired you. I know you can persuade her. Please, Drusilla, go to London. You know how you like to see Polly and Fleur. Please, Drusilla."
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